I Said It's Final

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i said it's final
Lee Eunhyuk is threaten by his boss, Lee Donghae, in order to agree to marriage.
 
 
 
reviewed by: star-lord.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Title (2/5)
Too cliche and simple. At first sight, I wouldn’t feel intrigued by the title and probably hesitate to read on the story. However, it does let me think twice about the title and think about the possible possibilities that will happen with that simple title.
 
Graphics (0/5)
 
Description and Foreword: (6/10)
Description :
Simple yet vague. However, there is a clear idea on what your story would be like and it's good because you don’t beat around the bush but go straight to the point.

Foreword :
Good effort on introducing your title properly, telling the readers how you got to the title of the story (which is the movie, Proposal) 

Story Layout: (3/5)
There are too many sentence in a single paragraph and honestly speaking, it is kind of a hassle to read a chapter like this. I suggest you should reorganise your paragraphing structure so as to avoid a whole lump of sentences jumbled up together.

Plot: (10/30)
Since this story is based on a movie, there isn’t much inspirations to get from the movie, because you are mainly using the ideas from the movie but not taking the extra mile to gain/source for inspirations even though there would a slight tweak (as mentioned in your foreword) in the storyline and whatsoever. As I proceed to read your first chapter, I realise there was a fast progress in the chapter, not much elaboration on what was going on so on and so for. It was like breezing through the chapter and pop, Eunhyuk finds out he was getting married to Donghae because of visa matters in the first chapter. How are you going to continue the story because the readers don’t feel the tension anymore and they are not curious to find out more about the story. It’s too quick and I felt everything was written in a rush and there are missing informations everywhere, bits and pieces lying around but you are not bothering to bring back the pieces together so as to make a more elaborated, slower pace story. There should be a setting in the story before the and then the ending. I don’t see a stabilized setting because characters are popping out from nowhere and there are no introductions on who are they and what are they doing there. Slight process after that plan for Donghae to get married with Eunhyuk but it seemed to be lacking the flow and everything seemed to be stretched to make the chapter longer and reading the chapter was difficult for me because of the fast progress that left me really confused.

 
Characterization: (3/10)
Kyuhyun and Sungmin were introduced to the story without any proper introductions. What kind of people were they? How would you classify them as? Rich, cool people or humble, hardworking ones? For Shindong, yes, you have done your part by introducing him as a thirty year old obese man. Fine with that but what was he doing there in the immigration room? Why and when did he appear so suddenly? There are tons of questions you have to ask yourself before writing these characters. Plan thoroughly which characters you wish to appear in the story and decide what personalities would you like to have in each character. 
 
Content Description (3/10)
There is absolute barely any content description in the story, perhaps even none at all. It is really plain and boring, simply just breezing through the story made no difference with reading the story with hundred percent concentration. There isn’t enough content description in your story and it is bringing your story down by a lot because readers won’t want to read a story with minimum content description right?
 
Flow: (2/5)
Extremely fast, that three chapters could lead to meeting the parents. Wow, isn’t there a gradual process for two people to agree on when to meet their respective parents to approve on their relationship or marriage? Was Donghae that in a hurry to get married that he had to meet Eunhyuk’s family that soon?
 
Grammar: (4/10)
There are grammar mistakes all over the story and I hope you would correct them or get someone to correct them for you.
 
Taste of the Story: (5/10)
Well, this story is absolutely not my cup of tea because of the super duper fast flow that is going nowhere and your story is still lacking a lot. Even though it had only been four chapters, I don’t know how are you going to proceed with the story because you would either, 1. end off sooner or later or 2. continue to drag the story until you find it's time for them to confess their true feelings to each other (since it’s a arranged/forced marriage) Don’t be discouraged by the negativity of this review because we all are learning at one point of time and we all are trying to improve our writing skills as well. Take step by step and don’t rush to write a good story because honestly, nobody would want to read a story that is not properly planned. Explore different ways to write a story and I’m sure you would find a suitable/comfortable one.
 

 


TOTAL: (38/100)

 

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NeverNinaa #1
Chapter 110: Hello there! I saw that your shop is accepting requests and I was wondering how can I drop a request? I'm sorry, i'm using my phone right now and i can't seem to catch the request form anywhere XD could you please guide me?
sweetcandy65 #2
I love reading your reviews in this archive because not only your reviews were interesting, it also helped me with my own mistakes! Thank goodness you made this archive ♡
JESLEN #3
Chapter 75: 5/5
Thank you for your content description. I never realized that car scene before lol. But thank you for that. You’re right about the thoughts and feelings by other characters should not be actually realized by the person’s POV. Guess I’m too immersed in the writing that I got carried away lol.
Im glad the flow is alright. Considering that it’s my first story (my practice 101), I wasn’t sure if my pacing was alright. I wasn’t exactly confident with the flashbacks being inserted like that but I’m happy you liked it (;
Grammar is not really my best asset, especially prepositions/conjunctions. I absolutely need to learn more. Thank you for your kind words despite.
Thank you very much for reviewing my story despite the rated scenes. I can never thank you enough for this very insightful review. Im glad you enjoyed the story despite everything. And once again, Im so sorry for the late pick up! I’ll credit now. Thank you once again and sorry for the loooonnnnnng comments :D
JESLEN #4
Chapter 75: 4/5
- gray eyes come from a thin layer of melanin on the front layer of the iris. The blue reflection of light is clouded over by the dark layer in front causing a dark gray color. (haha copied it from a med book lol)
-you’re right about her car injuries, I’ve only described her immense aches and pain after and the switching of faces, I’ve realized I focused too much on the switching that her injuries weren’t emphasized, thank you for emphasizing that
JESLEN #5
Chapter 75: 3/5
Your questions are gold! Thank you! I’ll keep them in mind while writing. Well to answer some of them:
-Changing face is actually possible, but would require lots of sessions. It’s from a theory and no, it isn’t practiced. *hint* from the latest story update, they changed faces, but would the outcome be the same? Would it be successful this time?*hint*hint
-what caused the amnesia---will be revealed later on haha
-whether joongki can take med degrees when he’s still young...ill try to check if I missed out a detail here  haha, I thought i made that info clear before, but apparently it’s doubtful
-whether joongki is thinking about her in the café, then she appeared…well, she’s been on his mind consistently ever since she disappeared and that day wasn’t an exemption.
-about shi hoo looking at her the same way? Let’s see what will happen 
JESLEN #6
Chapter 75: 2/5
For the layout, being consistent is so hard T__T but thank you for pointing the specific flaws. I’ll get to that and correct them. Thank you!

To be honest, I’ve never watched Good Doctor although I loved both Moon Chae Won and Joo Won. All I know is that the drama is all about doctors. Anyway, I’ve thought of a plot involving switching faces and how from that, a story will be created. I’ve added arrange marriage because to be honest, I have a feels for them (that is, before AFF was supersaturated with arrange-marriage fics). From there, Ive thought of making a second male lead as a friend helping the heroine with her struggle, but I’ve thought it too dull. I never really planned on making the doctor her love interest, but after some thoughts, why not? It would be a challenge to write. This is actually my first story and I never really thought about the number of chapters. I never really planned ahead during that time. I was full of daydreams and what ifs, that I became too excited to make it a reality, a story. Looking back, I realized how “short” my chapters are since 3-5 chapters actually happened in just a day. From there, I tried to learn how to balance scenes with my other stories. I knew how tiring it must be to read a long story T__T but since I started Imposter this way, I have to continue with what I have and improve the balancing of scenes till the end. I’ve thought of revamping after completing, and hopefully can publish it in the future 
JESLEN #7
Chapter 75: 1/5
oh my goodness. I didnt realize my review is up, but i saw it when I played a little with google search. Im so sorry for the late pick up!
Anyway for the title, I agree that some may not find it attractive enough, but for now, you're right that I should stick with it since the end is near. I will definitely think of a more mysterious title once I’ve completed and revamped the story. For the graphics, I’m glad someone pointed out the different symbolism it held. The graphic artist definitely understood what the story is all about. I couldn’t ask for more, and we’re the same! Aside from the beauty, I appreciate an artwork more if the artist can imbed hints and important symbolisms. I understand what you’re trying to point out with the trailers. Actually, I requested trailers when the story is only starting. I only gave brief description to the video artists, without giving them the little big reveals. The trailers are actually their interpretation with what little summary I gave them.
yeolsbubbletea #8
Chapter 77: Oh, and I'm interested about the details of my grammar mistakes. I wish to talk a bit more about it :)
yeolsbubbletea #9
Chapter 77: Thank you for the review and sorry for the late thank you :) It's a relieve that I can make characters and the plot well, but of course it's a disappointment that reviewer-nim didn't enjoy reading my story 'that much'. Based on your building critiques, I guess I have to learn more and develop a more well established story that can leave a very good taste of the story. It makes me reflect a lot on my own story and reminds me that I still have a lot to improve.
I hope everything will go well for this review shop. Have a nice day! :)
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