Fearless

LUST reviews >> archive > main shop accepting requests!
LUST

Review shop since 06.29.14

     1 2
 
FEARLESS
They were each other's bait, used by the Gods' wicked sense of humor. Death connected them at first, would death be responsible for separating them as well?
 
 
 
reviewed by: stefanie40

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Title (1/5)
To be honest I don’t like the title that much. It doesn’t give any feels, you know. Besides it’s kind of boring, I definitely wouldn’t red this story based just on the title. And this far I don’t understand the meaning behind that name. 
 
Graphics (5/5)
Okay, I love the poster. I feel that is hiding something important. It’s like it was a clue, since that picture of Sehun looks suspiciously dark and weird. Don’t tell me that he’s a bad guy, I can’t help but think that because of that image! Actually I’m imagining a lot of things just with seeing that poster. 
 
Description and Foreword: (8/10)
Your description is fine, but I’m not crazy about it. In fact, it didn’t attract my attention, but I guess is because of the fact that I’m not into these kind of genre, so yeah. It’s a good overview of what we will find in your story. But the real reason why I give you such a high score even though I didn’t like it that much is because of this phrase: “They were each other's bait.” Girl, I don’t know why but it made me so curious and now that I read the story I think I know where you want to go with that and I must tell you that I’m going to die if you are doing it for real. 
 
Story Layout: (5/5)
I love your layout! Well, you already know what I think about the poster and I’m so glad you put a background too. I really like that paragraph separator, those flowers were lovely. But I think that the chapters were really short, like seriously, you should make them longer. 
 
Plot: (29/30)
I got a feeling that it’s going to be a great story, since it seems well planned. The plot seems very original and not that overused, but I think it’s a little confusing, the first chapter I didn’t understand much, even now, and I’m still a little confused. I have a lot of questions actually, but I think that’s the point, right? Anyways, I love the storyline, but you should put action in the tags. Like in the last chapter you posted they were going to war, so my logic tells me that it’s going to appear a lot of blood, fights, deaths, etc.
 
Characterization: (3/10)
Sorry, but the characters are still plain and blank. I don’t know how to describe each character. They are all the same to me and certainly that’s not good. I don’t know what’s going on with Yerin, she’s like so…undynamic, plain, without a purpose, boring. Sehun…well, I don’t know how to describe him either, he’s just…there. And Kai…I don’t know either and he’s in love with Yerin all of a sudden, I mean he’s been with her for a longer time than Sehun and he still doesn’t confess to her! Like seriously and then he’s angry with the other guy because he gets the girl? Really? It’s just crazy. Oh, and the last chapter, when Sehun and Yerin were embracing each other and then Kai appeared suddenly, they were nervous about it, why? I mean I understand Sehun, but Yerin? Supposedly she doesn’t know about Kai’s love, so why she got all flustered? Ugh, sorry, but I really don’t like the characters so far. Maybe as the story progresses their personalities will come to light with improved clarity and I really hope so.
 
Content Description (9/10)
The way in which you describe the events and places are great, but I know that you can do it better, you definitely have the potential to. Oh and by the way, I like your writing style.
 
Flow: (3/5)
I feel that everything is happening to fast and I don’t like the fact that you skipped one year. I wanted to see how Sehun and Yerin developed their relationship, because now is so weird to see them in love all of a sudden. Besides, we are just in the fourth chapter and they will face their destiny already? I don’t know, it just feels very rushed to me. 
 
Grammar: (10/10)
Actually I didn’t catch any mistake. Your grammar is really good. You respect the basics and you never mistook the verb tenses you used, so congratulation! Obviously you made like two mistakes I think, but it was because of clumsiness more than anything (like you missed the “r” on “her”, that kind of mistake, so now you get my point, right?), so I’m not going to consider that.
 
Taste of the Story: (6/10)
Your story is great and I have a lot of expectations. It’s original and compromising. However this is not for me, because I don’t like action and fights and drama, so yeah. It’s without I doubt an interesting plot, but as I said before, not for me.
 


TOTAL: (79/100)

 

Thank you for requesting at LUST review shop.

63AGZKC.jpg

 

Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
NeverNinaa
#1
Chapter 110: Hello there! I saw that your shop is accepting requests and I was wondering how can I drop a request? I'm sorry, i'm using my phone right now and i can't seem to catch the request form anywhere XD could you please guide me?
sweetcandy65
#2
I love reading your reviews in this archive because not only your reviews were interesting, it also helped me with my own mistakes! Thank goodness you made this archive ♡
JESLEN #3
Chapter 75: 5/5
Thank you for your content description. I never realized that car scene before lol. But thank you for that. You’re right about the thoughts and feelings by other characters should not be actually realized by the person’s POV. Guess I’m too immersed in the writing that I got carried away lol.
Im glad the flow is alright. Considering that it’s my first story (my practice 101), I wasn’t sure if my pacing was alright. I wasn’t exactly confident with the flashbacks being inserted like that but I’m happy you liked it (;
Grammar is not really my best asset, especially prepositions/conjunctions. I absolutely need to learn more. Thank you for your kind words despite.
Thank you very much for reviewing my story despite the rated scenes. I can never thank you enough for this very insightful review. Im glad you enjoyed the story despite everything. And once again, Im so sorry for the late pick up! I’ll credit now. Thank you once again and sorry for the loooonnnnnng comments :D
JESLEN #4
Chapter 75: 4/5
- gray eyes come from a thin layer of melanin on the front layer of the iris. The blue reflection of light is clouded over by the dark layer in front causing a dark gray color. (haha copied it from a med book lol)
-you’re right about her car injuries, I’ve only described her immense aches and pain after and the switching of faces, I’ve realized I focused too much on the switching that her injuries weren’t emphasized, thank you for emphasizing that
JESLEN #5
Chapter 75: 3/5
Your questions are gold! Thank you! I’ll keep them in mind while writing. Well to answer some of them:
-Changing face is actually possible, but would require lots of sessions. It’s from a theory and no, it isn’t practiced. *hint* from the latest story update, they changed faces, but would the outcome be the same? Would it be successful this time?*hint*hint
-what caused the amnesia---will be revealed later on haha
-whether joongki can take med degrees when he’s still young...ill try to check if I missed out a detail here  haha, I thought i made that info clear before, but apparently it’s doubtful
-whether joongki is thinking about her in the café, then she appeared…well, she’s been on his mind consistently ever since she disappeared and that day wasn’t an exemption.
-about shi hoo looking at her the same way? Let’s see what will happen 
JESLEN #6
Chapter 75: 2/5
For the layout, being consistent is so hard T__T but thank you for pointing the specific flaws. I’ll get to that and correct them. Thank you!

To be honest, I’ve never watched Good Doctor although I loved both Moon Chae Won and Joo Won. All I know is that the drama is all about doctors. Anyway, I’ve thought of a plot involving switching faces and how from that, a story will be created. I’ve added arrange marriage because to be honest, I have a feels for them (that is, before AFF was supersaturated with arrange-marriage fics). From there, Ive thought of making a second male lead as a friend helping the heroine with her struggle, but I’ve thought it too dull. I never really planned on making the doctor her love interest, but after some thoughts, why not? It would be a challenge to write. This is actually my first story and I never really thought about the number of chapters. I never really planned ahead during that time. I was full of daydreams and what ifs, that I became too excited to make it a reality, a story. Looking back, I realized how “short” my chapters are since 3-5 chapters actually happened in just a day. From there, I tried to learn how to balance scenes with my other stories. I knew how tiring it must be to read a long story T__T but since I started Imposter this way, I have to continue with what I have and improve the balancing of scenes till the end. I’ve thought of revamping after completing, and hopefully can publish it in the future 
JESLEN #7
Chapter 75: 1/5
oh my goodness. I didnt realize my review is up, but i saw it when I played a little with google search. Im so sorry for the late pick up!
Anyway for the title, I agree that some may not find it attractive enough, but for now, you're right that I should stick with it since the end is near. I will definitely think of a more mysterious title once I’ve completed and revamped the story. For the graphics, I’m glad someone pointed out the different symbolism it held. The graphic artist definitely understood what the story is all about. I couldn’t ask for more, and we’re the same! Aside from the beauty, I appreciate an artwork more if the artist can imbed hints and important symbolisms. I understand what you’re trying to point out with the trailers. Actually, I requested trailers when the story is only starting. I only gave brief description to the video artists, without giving them the little big reveals. The trailers are actually their interpretation with what little summary I gave them.
yeolsbubbletea
#8
Chapter 77: Oh, and I'm interested about the details of my grammar mistakes. I wish to talk a bit more about it :)
yeolsbubbletea
#9
Chapter 77: Thank you for the review and sorry for the late thank you :) It's a relieve that I can make characters and the plot well, but of course it's a disappointment that reviewer-nim didn't enjoy reading my story 'that much'. Based on your building critiques, I guess I have to learn more and develop a more well established story that can leave a very good taste of the story. It makes me reflect a lot on my own story and reminds me that I still have a lot to improve.
I hope everything will go well for this review shop. Have a nice day! :)