Story Title (4/5)

It's an definitely an appealing title and it's one that would make a reader curious. It's currently the only story in AFF to have that title. I don't know if it's the best title for your story, as the second chapter doesn't have anything to do with the title. I did like how you linked the title in the end of your first chapter, it's a very unique concept.   

Graphics (0/5)

Graphics play a big role when keeping the reader engaged. Firstly, the poster. Posters are used to attract the reader and make them feel interested in the story. It is also used as a tool to draw out the important features of the story and bring it into the spotlight. Backgrounds sets the mood and atmosphere of the story because that would what the reader be looking at in thier peripheral vision while reading the story. 

Description and Foreword (10/10)

Though it's fairly brief, I see nothing wrong with your descrption. Keeping it short actually drives me on to make me want to read your one-shot and it isn't a boring description. I like how you provide a little information box kind of thing for your one-shot. For me, it makes everything seem formal, neat and tidy. And I approve of the font and layout of your description and foreword. 

{Story Plot}

Characterisation (20/20)

I don't really have any complaints with the personality of the two males. I would have tought that Changmin would act as the shy, timid one in the couple but he is equally dominating as TOP is. Cliche couples would have one dominating and the other bottom and you have switched the roles letting each male have a turn with the other. That's quite unique; well done. 

Originality (10/10)

Your fic is the first that I've come across that features two males that are in a ual relationship who are also maintaining their idol position. I quite like the idea of "the cat with his ball" and I thought it was very clever of you how you linked the start of the scene with "if it wants to play, it plays". Definitely an original one-shot. 

Flow (5/5)

As everything there happened in one night, it's not hard to sway from a smooth flow, which did not happen. You kept the pace of the story slow and steady. Nice job.

Conflict twists (3/10)

The only thing that I was a little surprised at was how you showed that the couple was comfortable with each other, both dominating one another and then in the end of the second chapter, they acted like any cute couple would. It is a one-shot, but every fanfiction should have a plot twist, and I don't see a significant one in yours mainly becaue the time period of your one-shot only reaches up to a night. Conflict twists drives the reader on and they do need a whole heap of planning and figuring out where's the best place to slot it in. But if your intention was to write a one-shot filled with - and only -, and you're happy with it, then I wouldn't worry too much on this category. 

Content Descriptiveness (10/10)

There is no problem here at all. You have provided an ample amount of description - especially the scene. I was once a ert, but I've steered clear from that area because of the indecency of many stories' writing. Some reached to the point where it disgusted me. I was quite reluctant to review your story, but you have wrriten the skillfully and tastefully. You definitely described every movement and every source of pleasure, using a variety of words rather than repeating common ones. I no longer favour reading about ual , but if I were still a ert, I would most likely have enjoyed yours (ermagawd that sounded  so weird). You should be very proud of yourself. 

Grammar (15/15)

Your grammar is perfect. I don't see anything wrong with it.

Taste of the Story (1/10)

I'm no fan of so I'm sorry to say that I didn't quite like reading that. I definitely wasn't puking all over the place so that's the biggest compliment you're going to receive in my subjective point of view. I'm pretty sure ets would find it quite interesting so don't be disheartened by me. Your one-shot is definitely of good quality. I'd say the only thing that I'd give a point to was the whole idea of "the cat and his ball". I really liked the concept of it (not so much as the idea behind it).

Score: 78/100

I just realised that because you have two chapters, it isn't technically a one-shot... OH WELL.

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