{Please Love Her by deejaykwon}

Story Title (5/5)

This story title is very, very compelling and it got me thinking at first sight. Why 'her'? Who is 'her'? 

It also has complete revelance to the story, and it's very interesting. If I scrolled down a list of stories, I would definitely click into yours based on the title.

Graphics (-/5)

Description and Foreword (6/10)

You used a quote from the story your story was inspired from, and that quote was deeeeeep. I had to reread it a couple of times to actually understand it xD

Though, it doesn't really show what your story is about. It only tells me love cannot be bought, and it is precious, but I think that's kind of common knowledge, although put in a much nicer way. I think you probably should show a little of what will be happening in the story in your description, to let the readers know what kind of a story it is.

{Story Plot}

Characterisation (19/20)

I could see that Jinwoo was a boy who was willing to sacrifice everything for Minji, and for love. He also struck me as a little stubborn, because of how he always didn't listen to the Oak Tree's advices. Minji's character is also well developed- a clueless young girl who has her heart broken in the end. I think in such a short story, you managed to develop the characters pretty well.

Originality (9/10)

Bravo! I've never read a fanfic like that before. Suuuuuure I've read about plenty of sacrifices that the guy makes for the girl, but this is new. Minji does not know about Jinwoo's existence and yet he is in love enough, to sacrifice everything for her, which counts as a lot. You've also written it in a rather... children fairytale way, because I got a very singsong feeling from the whole story. (If you get what I mean)

Flow (4/5)

Your sentences are all rather short, but somehow, your flow is perfectly fine. Like I said, I had a 'singsong' feeling from the story so I guess shorter sentences are more appropriate than longer ones, to set the mood right. 

Conflict twists (10/10)

Though the main idea was extracted from a book, I like the way you made the plot. Yes, you left dots at the end of your story for the reader to figure it out on their own, and that’s nonetheless the plus side to this story. In Chinese context, this technique is known as “留白”, which was introduced when an artist left a massive blank of white in his painting during the ancient days. This blank space was left unpainted for the public to let their imagination thrive and figure out the story behind the painting. And this was precisely what you did! A beautiful story without an ending, yet readers can more or less grab hold of the vague ending you pictured.

Content Descriptiveness (8/10)

The plot compelled me the most. And somehow, it was like watching Lee Seung Gi’s ‘Return’ MV once again, the aesthetic beauty of the forest doesn’t cease to amaze. Nevertheless, the story discusses about something deep and was able to make me ponder about life, or mostly just the sacrifice behind a good deed. At least, that’s my point of view which may slightly differ from others. Even though your story did not have many elaboration or descriptive phrases, I think it suits with the whole mood of the story. Simple yet nice and compelling.

Grammar (7/15)

I can't give you many marks for grammar, because from the second sentence alone I spotted a mistake which irked me, and made it hard to read. A sentence after a comma or a full stop must have a space separating them. You cannot stick the period/comma together with the starting letter of the sentence. For example:

A soft voice break into the comforting silence of the forest,waking me up from my daydream.I recognize that voice,its hers.I waited for a few moments and heard her voice again.

C: A soft voice breaks into the comforting silence of the forest, waking me up from my daydream. I recognize that voice; it is hers. I wait for a few moments and I hear her voice again.

Quite a few authors wrote in such a way that they put both the past and present tense together, even if it was not what they intended. However, it tends to make it hard and confusing to read if you write in both tenses. But in your case, I assume it is a story in present tense, but I can still see plenty of words in past tense. 

"But I don't have a beautiful voice.What should I do?" I heard she (her) say again,this time with a louder manner,desperation is obvious in her voice.

C: "But I don't have a beautiful voice. What should I do?" I hear her say again, this time louder, with desperation obvious in her voice. 

She look (looks) down on the ground,eyes still filled with tears.She cried (cries) again,louder this time.Her cries echoed in the big forest,making every souls in the forest stop (in) their tracks to hear her sad voice.How much I wish I could wipe that (those) sad tears away from her beautiful face.If only I could touch her.

C: She looks down on the ground, eyes still filled with tears. She cries again, louder this time. Her cries echo in the big forest, making every soul stop in their tracks to listen to her sad voice. How I wish I could wipe those sad tears away from her beautiful face. If only I could touch her.

Taste of the Story (7/10)

Though the plot really amazed me, yet I can’t say the storyline really gave me a lot of feels, not denying that the story was beautiful.

Score: 75/95

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