Minimalistic
LUST reviews >> archive > main shop accepting requests!minimalistic
reviewed by ft_stars
the request.
AUTHOR » 92-pcy
STORY status » On-going
type of request » Standard
chapters reviewed » 13
genres » fluff, romance
description » This story revolves around Park Chanyeol, Seoul Arts High's resident nerd, as he goes through the experiences of being an unwanted teenager, both in school and back home. Socially unaccepted, struggling with relentless bullying, the never ending cycle of poverty. How long will his determination last? Will fate eventually see him through his hardships one day? What if there was a certain someone that was always watching over him? He was human after all, and love was not something that was discriminative.. right ? If only she knew, if only she wouldn't push him away like everyone did and accepted him for who he was. The least Chanyeol expected was for the school's Queenka, Sumin, one in particular that differed from many. She was stunning, both inside and out, she possesed a character of simplicity, a heart of gold. She finds herself deeply infatuated with the nerd, there was just something intriguing about the lone boy. Would she soon succumb to her feelings? Would Chanyeol have anticipated himself being entangled in a love story as the two face challenges along the way? The test of time and society status awaits them, as their love blossoms. Come along the couple's journey as Chanyeol finds himself regaining his self confidence, learning to love, experiencing love. Love was simple, love was minimalistic. Love was the solution.
" No matter how people may belittle me, it can't be worse than me belittling myself."
" I've gained more strength and I've learned what it means to never give up. "
title (1)
appeal » 1/2
correlation » 0/2
CLARITY » 0/1
Firstly, I adore a one titled story as the title can be widely interpreted throughout the story, creating a deeper meaning and living the readers with nostalgia once they have finished the stories and are able to connect the links between the story and title. However, in this case, I'm not too fond of the title as it seems to fit an angst themed stories rather than a rom-com themed stories as yours. When I clicked on the link to this story, I thought I would be reviewing an angst-themed story; the one that deals with minimalistic emotions that trigger the characters' actions throughout the chapter. There are a lot of ways to create a fun, lively title for stories without needing or having to change the title completely. It is really the play of words when it comes to the title. For research, you can search through the rom-com genres and take notes on how other authors in the AFF community creates theirs.
Next, the correlation of the title to the story is off for me. Throughout the chapters that I have read, the only thing I can see is wildly extravagant of Sumin and Chanyeol's affection for each other. I was expecting a more discrete but at the same time, hoping that the fluffiness will make me numb just from reading it. The chapters are suitable for rom-com stories, however, I am not able to locate the minimalistic yet growing love from the two of them. Sumin is very definite in her ways of telling people that she likes Chanyeol and she wants to make sure that not just the readers are aware of it, even the characters that are minor ( the bystanders ). I was really hoping for something that is so minimal in their love life that even the readers to coo and is unable to take their eyes off to squeal because the scene of their blooming interest is short but leaves a deep impression.
Clarity is denied as the quality of being clear, something that makes sense to the readers even just from a small glimpse or the understanding throughout each chapter that they read. How clarified does the title seems to you from what I have pointed?
graphics (0)
APPEAL OF THE poster » 0/2
correlation to the story » 0/2
suitability of the vibe from the graphics » 0/1
I am not a graphic designer but one could see and define a story from its graphics. The graphic does not do the story justice. As I have said before, when I clicked on the story link and decided to read it one go, the graphics has me looking at the tag so that I'm not wrong with my vision. The graphic is suitable for an angst themed or slice-of-life stories. It doesn't just make readers think that the story will end tragically; it also creates an illusion that this story really is indeed targeted towards readers who are interested in angst and not a rom-com. A poster for a romcom story can be subtle and it's much appropriate if it has a few ( two or three at the most ) to capture the vibrant light of the story. The actual graphic gives off an unreadable atmosphere, making me as one of a reader to think that something big and terrible is going to happen to both Sumin and Chanyeol and that the story is a tragic alas the tags. However, if the graphic designer you have requested judged your story based on your title, please ask them for a redo because you should have received full points for this section.
description and foreword (5)
APPEAL of the description » 0/4
appropriateness of the description » 3/4
organisation of description and foreword » 2/2
The description is separated into two, the both of them are left to none intricate and direct to the story plot. However, I was unsure on how to grade this through points. For me, both of the description, detailed or not, revealed too much of the plot, leaving the readers nothing left to amuse or find them interesting. I will always make sure to tell other authors that little is more. It is difficult when the story itself is a romcom and supposedly, it is expected for the main plot to show in the description so, I have given you a few points for the appropriateness of the description.
The description gives out Sumin's personality in a whole, her upbringing. I would point out a few things on her personality soon in the characterization section. As I go through Sumin's part of the introduction, Chanyeol's introduction is easy to guess and the plot in a whole can be seen through. So, I really don't see the appeal of the description and it is not able to pull me into the story.
However, I would like for you to look back and think of whether what is represented for a description is deemed suitable even for yourself. Even if the story is comical, it doesn't mean that the author would reveal the whole plot. For me, it doesn't appeal me on reading forward as the description leaves none to the imagination but at the same time, for other reviewers, the description is suitable for rom-com stories.
story layout (5)
consistency of font, font size and divisions » 3/3
overall appeal and organisation of chapters » 2/2
The story layout is very clean and neat so it's very easy for me to read each and every chapter. However, I would like to point out a few things since this has been something that I always see whenever I encounter stories that have a lot of chapters and a lot of graphics. I do understand that you would like to continue giving credits to the graphics threads that you have requested but the credits are too big and take up a lot of spaces in the foreword and even a whole full chapter. You should only credit the ones that you're using and link them. I would also like to point out that there is a chapter for characters profiles and I think the profiles reveal everything about the story, even the part that Chanyeol undergoes a makeover. It may make readers turn around from the story seeing as they know what is going to come in the future chapters.
There are a lot of graphics threads that offer characters profiles, however, I don't recommend a lot of authors to request for them seeing as they can make the story readable and understandable just from looking at the profiles. There are a lot of authors who do that but some of them are smart and only uses pictures and making connections without giving out any other details that could ruin the story so, please be careful choosing what you would like to put in the story. As an example, take a novel out from your shelves and find the differences in your story ( book ) and the novel that has been selling for years.
PLOT (8)
APPEAL OF the base storyline » 3/10
the effect of events » 2/10
development of plot » 3/10
The plot is a see through as it is not hard to predict what is going to come up next in the next few chapters. However, I do have to say that there is a plot twist that totally has me raising my brow because it is so sudden and it almost seems like it is placed there for the sake of fast-forwarding the story. This plot twist that I mentioned is the part when (suddenly) Sumin is brave enough to show her affections towards Chanyeol in front of the whole school. The event seems too forced out and it doesn't come out very naturally. The event should have happened a few more chapters forward when both of them started going out and not before. This event creates a very fragile Sumin that is easily breakable because she is put up to fit any kind of personality. She is not she. This matter will be discussed further.
Next, I would also like to focus on the plot where Chanyeol goes through a makeover. This part for me is too unrealistic as nothing trigger Chanyeol to do so ( from the deepest of his heart ) however, Sumin's friend is the one who decides it upon herself to give him one. There are a lot of 'makeover plots' in AFF and outside of our community. Authors overuse this plot so, if I ever encounter with such a plot again, I hope to see something that makes it very realistic. In my opinion, Chanyeol doesn't need to go through the makeover since Sumin still likes him no matter what his appearance is. He isn't bully for being ugly and dating Sumin so, I don't see the reason.
Another thing that I would like to point out is that the setting is set in an Art School so, I don't really understand why they're preparing for university ( unless for those who aims for musical major ). Chanyeol's character doesn't fit in the context of in a scholarship when it's an Art School.
As I have said before, mainly the plot as in the minimalistic part, the events throughout the story are pretty big and wild. The part where they have a sleepover or the part when Sumin visits Chanyeol's house and bravely enters the house - I would discuss this in the next section.
characterisation (2)
development of characters » 1/5
character influence on the story » 1/5
I would focus on three different characters, two of them are main while the other one is a compilation of minor characters. First and foremost, I would like to review on Sumin's character. After thoroughly reading the story, again and again, I would like to point out a few things that make Sumin's character a bit unbelievable. As I have pointed out in the plot section, Sumin, in my opinion, is created to fit any kind of situation and that puts me off from reading for quite a long time ( hence the late review ). She is supposed to be this perfect, classy female who is beautiful inside and outside. The inner beauty, as I would like to note is that Sumin supposedly should present a very ladylike attitude ( not just having a golden heart ). However, she proves me wrong with cussing out in the first chapter and it holds me off even more.
Her personality can easily be changed since, in the first few chapters, she is very shy to even talk to Chanyeol, only helping him when needed and only watching him from afar. She proves me wrong again when the last few chapters, she easily becomes very open about it, even showing her affections directly towards Chanyeol. She even tries to find Chanyeol and worries when the boy doesn't sleep next to her during their study session. This actually kills her character. These are not the only things that make Sumin becomes a very unrealistic character. She also showcases Mary Sue's syndromes. For me, she doesn't have a weakness; seeing as an Asian average height is about hers so, she is this perfect female who is a beauty, intelligent ( that she hardly ever study ) and has a very good social communication skills.
The fact that she doesn't study at all and is able to ace a test is absurd for me. It actually humiliates other students such as Chanyeol who studies very hard to achieve what she always achieve. Her character screams imperfection in perfection. There are a lot of ways you can avoid creating such a character in a story. I would recommend creating a sheet list on each of the characters in the story. Use the sheet list to list out their biographies, interests, specialties, their facial looks, past, and dreams. From there, hopefully, you are able to see the Mary Sue/ Gary Stu's syndromes in your characters.
Next, I would like to talk about Chanyeol. By far, he is the most relatable character in the story, however, it doesn't mean that his character is created perfectly. As I have pointed out from the plot regarding the high school, I can't see him giving his best studying and receiving a scholarship to an Art School. His character is a version of a Pauper, in the Princess and the Pauper and it pulls me away from the story once more. However, I have to give it to him for showcasing a normal high school boy life story. I would need to point out though as I am afraid that his character will be changed to fit his new side after the makeover, the 'Kingka' Chanyeol. People don't change much so, I hope you could keep the realism to him.
I can clearly understand Chanyeol when Sumin comes and visits him, even staying for a long while. When a man is in front of the person he likes, there is no stopping as he also have his needs and he takes the chance to become even closer to his crush. Another thing that I would like to point out, which is the part when he hugs and plays along with her but then, pulling away and becoming all shy once more. I do hope that in the future, you will reread and edit every chapter because mistakes like this are usually made by authors.
Last but not least, I would have to point out the minor characters. This is the part where authors would give light at first in the beginning of the story, however, forgetting them and using them to complete a task or whatnot for the main characters. I thought that Soojung would be someone important to the story too but all I can equal her to is a tool. She and Jongin are rarely mentioned in the story and that the fact that they only ( mainly ) appear for Chanyeol's makeover support my conclusion. I do understand that it is hard to focus on a lot of characters so, as an opinion, try to use the time setting to widen the world of Minimalistic. In a day, there are 24 hours and so use this idea to think of what should be done. Sumin should spend more time with Soojung and Jongin as they're her friends. Famous authors such as J.K Rowling uses this method to outline her story before she writes anything.
content description (2)
quantity » 1/5
quality » 1/5
As a note, it is okay to use every second that you can to make everything perfect. For readers, it doesn't matter if the story has about 60 chapters or longer as long as the story that they're reading is fulfilling and I too feel the same. There's no meaning if it does not achieve my expectation. I would like to simply conclude that this story should have more chapters to create a better quality of a story. There is no reason to rush just because someone comments for a faster update. Take your time and write and edit and edit. A good story doesn't just come out of nowhere. It takes a lot of time to create one and I know, even if this story is cliche and is a work coming from an aspiring author, it can be a good story depending on how many steps you take at once. Take a step slowly as improvement is a consumption of time. A rom-com story is not something to be hard on; it should be taken lightly and the idea has to be fresh and enjoyable. It is a leisure reading, after all.
flow (1)
suitability of the flow » 0/2
your control of the pace » 1/3
As I have noted in the previous section, the flow is a trainwreck. At first, it is acceptable but then, when it gets closer to the last few chapters, it accelerates and creates a very unsteady pace. Giving you the benefits of the doubt, perhaps, it is because of a writer's block or due to the pleas of readers. I would recommend editing the chapters that you have posted so that new readers would not have to go through bumpy roads and that in the end, they would be able to enjoy the story through fully.
grammar (8)
punctuation » 2/2
spelling » 1/2
vocabulary » 2/2
syntax » 1/2
tense collisions » 2/2
It has been a smooth reading as there are barely any grammar errors, however, there are a few spelling errors that don't bother me that much. Your writing mechanicals is not perfect but I will say that they are perfect for an author. You can make sure to check on spelling errors through Google Docs, Microsoft Words or Grammarly. These are free programs that will be able to help you with spelling errors and especially Grammarly since it also helps with adjectives, nouns and focuses more on writing mechanicals. It has been a great read with no errors that are too heavy. It is a good read.
taste of story (4)
personal enjoyment of plot and characters » 2/5
influence of flow and grammar » 2/4
length of your story » 0/1
Even though I'm keener towards fantasy and sci-fi stories, I too love to enjoy and indulge myself with rom-com stories. There are are a few great rom-com stories. You have a good writing mechanical skills but writing a story also involves in an interesting plot, relatable characters, and 180 plot twists. This story doesn't leave me wanting to read more, in fact, if I was a normal reader, I might have skipped a few chapters. You also have to keep it slow with the flow. It doesn't matter if the chapter is too long or the story has a lot of chapters - readers can make a difference between a good read or a bad one so, I'm sure if you keep improving slowly, your stories will be much appreciated. Don't think about getting the 'feels' of the story right. It's getting the story right.
total score (36)
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