I Like Your Pink Bunny Socks Sungmin-ssi
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the request.
AUTHOR » mischievous_akmood
STORY status » Completed
type of request » Standard
chapters reviewed » 15
genres » angst, psychological, mentalhospital, depression
description » Sungmin is suicidal and depressed. Ryeoweok self-harms. These two teenagers cross paths in a very unexpected place: a mental hospital. They can say that two broken people can heal each other. But can they really?
REVIEWED BY: DAHLIAA
" No matter how people may belittle me, it can't be worse than me belittling myself."
" I've gained more strength and I've learned what it means to never give up. "
title (3)
Honestly, when I first received the request, I never noticed the title, like really. I just thought I had to get the review done so I had to apologise for that. And it was not because the title is unappealing, trust me, because I was more pulled into the story after taking note of the title.
"I Like Your Pink Bunny Socks, Sungmin-ssi". At first glance, the title itself reveals hint of creepiness; pink bunny socks+the tags of mental hospital and psychological really gave me creepy vibes. I could hear those typical creepy music when I read the title. The title was what Ryeowook had said to Sungmin, and I think it was quite suitable as a title.
However, unfortunately, I noticed the title does not apply much effects to the content of the story. Pink bunny socks were not mentioned or associated as frequently with the story to make it (the pink bunny socks) one of the parts in the title. It was only mentioned twice or thrice in the beginning. Overall, I do adore the title but the way the title itself is not absolutely related to the story, it had lessen my interest in the title (not the story, of course).
graphics (3)
I am in no place or professional enough to criticize a graphic design, but I will give my thoughts as a normal reader about the poster.The moment I laid my eyes on the main poster, the first thought that came across my mind was 'where’s the pink’. The bunny socks which appeared to be creepy and interesting describe the title but pink, pink. I just think that if the bunny socks were pink, it would make your poster stands out better. Also, the background could be black or darker, just to highlight the pink bunny socks. The slight scene of the ward played it's part well though, as well as Sungmin's and Ryeowook's expressions.
description and foreword (10)
The description is very short lengthed, yet I felt like it has already explain enough. Even from five short sentences, readers can see what you were aiming for the story, and what we should focus on. The description does not reveal much, but it also reveals enough. However, some people could think that you implied romance between Sungmin and Ryeowook when the story has 0 scene that screams romance. So at this part, I'm thankful you added the tag friendship since people can be mistaken. Everyone hates reading something that gives them hope but ended up receiving nothing at the end.
For the foreword, I'm thankful again that you made ways to write about the warnings IN DARK RED (not bright red) and the trigger warnings ON CAPS. I felt like every authors should apply this part in their stories so the readers are alert and aware of the things they will be reading. Some stories did not give those warnings and always caught readers off guard when they stumbled into some scenes, etc. As a side note, I do agree that the story is not that heavy in the warnings to be rated M.
Overall, you've made the two sections plain and simple. And it's good, actually. As a reader myself, I don't care much about the foreword and will just go through the story but for some readers, they prefer the front page to appear nice and pretty. For this part, I would advise you to arrange the credits part neatly, just for your front page to look good. Some people really judge a fanfic by it's foreword.
story layout (5)
The story can be read easily on my phone without any disturbance, which is good. The font is alright, and the spacing is good too!
PLOT (27)
I see that you wish for more elaboration for the plot and so, I hope I've launch my everything into this. So, first of all, this is my first attempt in reading SJ fanfic, let alone a psychological SJ fanfic, which is quite a surprise since I always aim for lighter stories for my firsts in any fandoms. But honestly, it was a fun read and a good experience. I'm glad I read it.
The story reminds me of the movie Changeling. Angelina Jolie performed in it, and even though it was only for a short span of time whereas she was forced into a mental hospital, I could relate the scenes in the movie with the stuffs going on in your story. Actually, the main genre of the story itself is not my cup of tea. But I don't know how the story had me hooked. Some of the scenes in the story were shocking and surprising. For example; I never thought Ryeowook was self-harming. You potrayed him as a calm character and a boy who was in a good state in recovering. But suddenly, he was self harming. That part got my hyped while reading it. There were so many ups and downs that everyone, mainly Sungmin, had to go through. There're more emotional thoughts going on in the story and the focus on the friendships between Sungmin and Ryeowook, as well as the other patients make the story feel realistic. I felt like the plot is not too light to be counted as not angsty but it is also not heavy enough to be mainly filled with angsts and psychological things.
However, there are also some details I will consider as cliche. Like how Sungmin is the heir of his father's company or how his mom is a total jerk and is ignorant of her child’s wants and needs. But despite all that, I've never read a situation whereas the one who gets thrown into a mental hospital, is also the heir of a famous company. There are a lot of stories out there that have depressed person as a character, but they were never potrayed as someone who has rich family or a nagging mom; in fact, the characters have no family at all. So to read a cliche detail, mixed with unsual features, was something new and fresh to discover.
Also, I would say I was a bit turned off and was a bit bored by some of the chapters in the beginning. I felt like their routines were always repeating with just small new things happening here and there, which is why I skipped some chapters. I would not want an author's hardworks to go waste, so, I would advise you into adding some interesting elements, just some. Just to make every single chapter worth it and fun to read. And so that if your reader re-read your work, they would not skip any chapters because every chapters, to them, are so exciting, even though they've read them before.
I've never get myself involved in any of the situations in the story nor do I have really studied anything to do with depressions, self-harms and suicides things enough to favour this genre but the way you write it so simply makes it easy for readers like me to read such story. You described the purposes of an act; why did he do that, why did he feel like that etc, so directly without so many ‘metaphors’, that people find no difficulty in reading such content.
And the feelings+the whole dynamic bond between Sungmin and Ryeowook balanced well with all the other heartbroken and angst scenes. It’s good that readers can relate to their friendship, and to understand that they are still teenagers like others, still have the tendecies to joke around, still have their dreams they kept between themselves. I also found it logical and reasonable for Sungmin to depend and attach himself to Ryeowook because he is a lost and unhappy teenager who is still growing up and still needs companion. I love that they are so platonic but somehow, they still have doubts to each other. The whole bond is realisitic and I felt like it had happened in some wards, who knows?
Overall, I had to say I am very impressed with the plot. :D I felt like I could try more of these type of genres.
characterisation (7)
Sungmin is actually my second fav in SJ and it actually saddens me a little to know he is not appreciated as I thought he is. He is super cute and good in singing, though.
So for the Sungmin in the story. I actually disliked him, at first. I always had the thought like 'why are you so childish sungmin istg pls stop', because yes, I do think he is immature, at first. He is disappointed and upset and angry in pratically everything, he threw tantrums a lot and I thought his character was absurd and so childish at some point. But then I was reminded that he is 17, he is still a teenager. He was doing fine at some point but suddenly he was stressed and to make it worse, he has a ruthless mom who abandoned him into a mental hospital. He felt like he was treated like a child by everyone and was upset about it, so it became logical for him to be cruel to Sunny, and hated every psychiatrists in the ward. The more I read about him, the more I can relate to his characters. Every teenagers would act like him if they were in his place. Though there is a positive trait I’ve noticed about Sungmin's character, and that is about how he starts to become more mature and reasonable in his actions. It was nuts(?) of him to punch Sunny on the face, but I felt like that was what he thought he had to do, and what I thought he must do, too. At some point I get why is he acting like this, why is he acting like that. He is also very expressive with himself in what he felt. To put an end to this, Sungmin is quite a memorable and by far the most realistic character.
If Sungmin is my second fav in SJ, Ryeowook is the first. Ryeowook in the story is something I can't quite figure out. Of course, he is mysterious and all, but other than that, I can't quite get his actions. Why was he suddenly angry, how did he calm down, etc. I felt like more explainations should be laid out for Ryeowook's part. He played a huge part in the story but I can't relate to him that much. It could be because you are writing from Sungmin's POV. But I do hope Ryeowook could get more parts in talking his feelings out since he is one of the mains too, maybe not too much parts, since his whole mysterious and questionable aura could be ruined, but enough to make people understand some of his actions because the way he acted in some part left me questioning '?WHY?'
As a side note, I appreciate Sunny's character in the story. In fact, I do love her, in the reality, as well as in the story. I could be biased, but I did feel like she must had reasons behind her acts. She played a part in bringing Sungmin into maturity and making him a 'better' person. I actually melted at the part where she hugged him, and he hugged her back. He hated her, but there are unspoken sincerities between them. Though Sunny appears to be a bit expressive, actually. It could be because she somehow put more effort into coaxing Sungmin to open up for her. But from some movies I've watched, (Changeling, for example), the nurses and doctors are very emotionless and cruel. They are basically trained to do so, right?
And I do feel a bit dissatisfied with some of the characters. I felt like you could have explain about them more. Without explainations, even just short one, I felt like they are only there without reasons. Like just as characters you put into the story or else it will be empty with just the main characters. I want to know more about them. For example, what is the real and detailed reason behind Sungmin's mother's action in placing her son in the ward? Sungmin's mom is the main antagonist, the person who caused the whole thing to happen to Sungmin, but she was not a really well developed character and I could not quite get all the intentions behind her acts. I also think for the side characters like Tiffany, Yesung, etc, you left your readers being curious about them a lot. I do hope you will add details or some short background stories about them.
content description (9)
Your style of writing, as I said, is pretty easy to read and to understand. The way you focused on the thoughts makes the reading more engrossing and you also did not left out the details about the ward. It's pretty good. However, I do hope the story could be a bit longer, longer in terms of showing how Sungmin became depressed, or his luxurious life before he was forced into the ward.
flow (3)
The flow is pretty good. I am satisfied with the flow. EXCEPT for the ending. The pace was suddenly fast and rushed. I learned that you really just want to post the last chapter and to mark the story as complete, but the last chapter is not really satisfying. Why is it so rushed, I can't help but to think that. In my terms of reading, I came to know that the last chapter matters the most (alongside with the first chapter), therefore, an author should put her all for the last chapter. The ride for the whole story was fun and all but the last chapter, was what I think your readers should get more and the best of all from it. For the pace of the last chapter only, of course because I do love the way you ended the story. But there is no specific resolution. Leaving the ending hanging was good, but don’t leave it completely hanging. You can make a short prologue. Showing what happened to Sungmin’s mother, or the ward, how CL and the other showcase the situation after Sungmin was or was not gone. You don’t even have to explain about Sungmin’s situation. Little details on how Sungmin’s mother or Ryeowook felt will be enough. Overall, I think the last chapter is the one and only problem for the story. And trust me, don't rush anything if you know you can pull it off greatly.
grammar (8)
I do not aim for any grammar mistakes during my readings. Frankly speaking, I don’t find any grammar or spelling mistakes. If there is, maybe I was just ignoring it. Your readers would do the same too, actually. But, I cringed a bit whenever the word ‘umma’ appears. Romanization korean was something not everyone can take in well. Since the whole situation in the story is very angsty and not fluffy, I suggest you into using mother or mom, as it can show more professionalism in writing. Of course, this is only my personal preference. Also, I’m not sure if this part is in the grammar section, but in chapter 6? Whereas Sungmin was talking and yelling at himself, there were so many changes of dialogues that may cause some of your readers, me too, get confused. I suggest you into adding detailed actions between those dialogues.
taste of story (10)
It was an enjoyable read. I like that I’ve discovered a new genre I thought I dislike but ended up liking them, just by reading your story. It was a steady and calm fic with some rollercoaster rides and I do enjoy it. I will try to be friends with the genre soon. Thanks to you
total score (85)
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