{Ellister's Legacy #2: The Storms by DGNA_Forever}

Story Title (5/5)

Seeing as it's part of a sequel, I have no problem with your title. "The Storms" is perfectly correlated with the story. It's quite an appealing title overall.

Graphics (3/5)

Wow. It's definitely intricate. I love the blending and colour of the graphics. It's good that both groups in the story are in the poster, and that the two main character's faces are in colour, contrasting with the whole poster. What I would have liked to see added in the poster, is maybe the enemy - both the Matoki and the demons. They also play an important role in the story so the should have a spot in the poster. Also, you should request a background next time because using the poster as the background is too distracting, with your poster being made with complexity. Readers may find their eyes drawn to the side rather than focusing on your words.

Description and Foreword (8/10)

Your description perfectly summaries your story, and I really do mean perfectly. You've included every important aspect of the story. You've introduced the sypnosis well, and the way you ended it made me want to read your story urgently. Very well done.

The trailer is ing amazing. Like holy crap what the hell?! It's just. Wow. That's all I can say. It definitely convinced me to read your story.

However, after reading your story and watching it again, I felt that something was missing. Again, where is the enemy? The Matoki, the demons?! I realise that you've always been just saying "fight, fight of their lives" but you haven't introduced things like "the sinister, invisible force" or something like that. Maybe some images of that should have been slipped into the trailer. I also think that you should have included powers in the trailer, as after all, that's what half the humans have.

{Story Plot}

Characterisation (20/20)

I don't see any real flaws in your characters. I like how you make Chaejin vulnerable to other boys even though he is clearly Zelo's. I also like the mysterious feel to Junkyu. I reckon what you have - or, had - was a really strong and pleasant combination. There wasn't any character which I felt was too dramatic, or needed more feel towards it.

Originality (7/10)

Let's face it, there are so many storylines with the good verse bad. And it's just so hard nowadays to come out with your own original plot. However, I do like how you've made it three sides; the good, the bad, and the evil. Having this definitely makes it original of some sort. The powers you've given to the characters are quite basic; fire, water, light, lightning, telepathy. It's been used everywhere, so I'm going to have to mark you down for that.

Flow (3/5)

The flow of your story felt a little too rushed and this was because of your lack of description, which I will obviously be talking more in the content descriptiveness category. Because it was pretty big, it affected your flow. Besides that, I thought that everything else remained fine. It wasn't the smoothest I've seen, but not the most rockiest either. 

Conflict twists (8/10)

There wasn't any part in the story where it completely shocked me. But with events happening such as Youngjae freely dating Chaejin, and Chaejin leaning towards Seyoung, it wasn't the type of story where I could guess everything that was happening.

Content Descriptiveness (4/10)

This category would be your weakest point. It shocked me to see how you could fit in significant parts of the story in one paragraph. Such as the one where Zelo and Chaejin had . It was way too short, and you didn't describe anything. You simply stated they had it. You also need to create the emotions that you want us readers to feel. Who's perspective are we looking through when the big and last fight happened, and what did he feel during the bloodbath? Here, you did describe how the demons were being defeated by the humans and Matoki, but you didn't talk about the atmosphere of the fight; was it feaful, tense? I felt that I was simply reading it, and not feeling it to get the full impact of the story.

At first, when I realised it was the second part of a sequel, I was wondering whether you'd give me some background information about the first story, and whether or not it was necessary for me to go back and read that story first before reading the one you asked me to review. If that happened, I'd mark you down not because I'm lazy, but because even though it's the second part, you still should be introducing the background information as a source to refresh your old readers as well. You did describe it quite well and I understood what happened in the first story, so good job.

Grammar (14.5/15)

You have proved your grammar to be exceptional. I hardly found any flaws. There was only one thing that I found, and that was when you capitalised two words. It's informal to use capital words or sentences; replace it with italics or put an exclamation mark at the end of the sentence.

Taste of the Story (9/10)

I did enjoy your story - I thought of it as quite interesting and well planned. Even though there was a lack of description, I found myself loosening up to the story anyway. I thought the plot was pretty good. An advice for your sequel though, don't prolong the whole deal too long. I think three would be enough. It would just be tiresome for your readers who were with you from the very start, to wait more for the whole plot. Just keep that in mind.

Score: 83.5/100

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