Aphelion

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aphelion
Yixing, Yifan and Luhan are the Golden Trio, who are not so glorious.
 
 
 
reviewed by: dahliaa

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
 
Title (4/5)
My vocabulary isn't wide, there're still lots of words I never know, and I'm sure most of AFF's users have almost the same condition like me. So when I saw the title, I was like... speechless. But my mind is saying a lot of things. You know, there's just that small voice inside you that talk to you. So, I searched for what does Aphelion actually means (i'm a fool, i mean, you've wrote it on your forewordXD). Okay, so i searched and read the story and i have to agree, the title unexpectedly is related very much with the story. So, high points for that because there're not a lot of stories with titles that go well with the plots and all :)
 
Graphics (5/5)
Very simple yet meaningful. 'Path to Polaris'... I'm loving it very much! I love how a simple sentence can mean so much to those who view the poster. Plus, the galaxy theme! The previous poster is great too! Good choice of graphic designer(s)!
 
Description and Foreword: (10/10)
I never want to sugarcoat you or anything but it's freaking wonderful, the description, I mean. 'Losing yourself to find the way'. It shows how you are someone who think out off the box. You let people wonder, and wondering is a great thing. It makes you take a moment and think. And I'm sure that even readers who don't understand the description or foreword will be trapped into the story eventually. It's mysterious and meaningful. 
 
Story Layout: (5/5)
Everything's fine. I'm fine with everything. Since I'm not the type to try damn hard to search for your mistakes. As long as I'm comfortable with it. And I'm comfortable with your story layout. c; 'so we wished on falling angels' The chapters' name make me <3... :)
 
Plot: (30/30)
What can I say? Umm... strong. Yep, very strong. It's indescribable. The es, what the characters are talking about, what are they thinking about, you... developed them excellently. It's... very great. I don't know how to say it anymore. Every scenes, every chapters are meaningful. Everything is memorable and powerful. I love Luhan's poems, especially the last one; Every breath is a cliffhanger. It's a weird combination and I don't know what it actually means, but I can feel that it is yeah, strong. Like, it's just a sentence with five words, but there's like thousands of images and words playing in my mind. So...high scores, I mean, full marks. 
 
Characterization: (10/10)
Yixing is the dreamer. Luhan follows his friends, but he doesn't know what's he's doing, and Yifan is the lost teenager, the one who's lost inside himself. Every three of them have their own stories, and it's complicated, but I love each of them. Including Tao. He's like; the hero? Knight shining in amour? He's not the other character, he is actually one of the mains, but he is not quite the main. That's what I see on them. Their personalities are troubles but there're something special. There's always that something. 

Content Description (9/10)
I was having troubles at some sudden change of scenes and I have to read everything again before understanding it. It may be just my mistake anyway. :3 But other than that, it's fine. I actually don't know how does this 'content description' work XDXD 
 
Flow: (5/5)
To be honest, there's no flow, right? Everything just work like how they're supposed to be. There's no flow, because its just their stories. And I do love the flow, even though there's no exact flow. I hope you understand what I mean c:
 
Grammar: (9/10)
I thought the grammar and vocabulary usage would be wide in your story but nah. Everything's alright. However, I wish you can make it more simple. It's fine now, but some readers may thought the words are hard to understand so maybe, fix it, just a tiny bit? And I spot no spelling mistakes. 
 
Taste of the Story: (9/10)
I thought this story would be the mainly , like, the extreme one so I was thinking twice before starting to read it. But gladly, there're just few scenes (was it two or one?) and every scenes are written for a reason. Like; it's not just a plain , it's quite meaningful and add a lot to the whole story. I love you and the story. It's incredible. THANK YOU. YOU PULLED ME TO THIS STORY AND I NEVER GONNA REGRET IT. *view fefedove's other fan fictions* *click* 
 


TOTAL: (96/100)

 

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Comments

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NeverNinaa
#1
Chapter 110: Hello there! I saw that your shop is accepting requests and I was wondering how can I drop a request? I'm sorry, i'm using my phone right now and i can't seem to catch the request form anywhere XD could you please guide me?
sweetcandy65
#2
I love reading your reviews in this archive because not only your reviews were interesting, it also helped me with my own mistakes! Thank goodness you made this archive ♡
JESLEN #3
Chapter 75: 5/5
Thank you for your content description. I never realized that car scene before lol. But thank you for that. You’re right about the thoughts and feelings by other characters should not be actually realized by the person’s POV. Guess I’m too immersed in the writing that I got carried away lol.
Im glad the flow is alright. Considering that it’s my first story (my practice 101), I wasn’t sure if my pacing was alright. I wasn’t exactly confident with the flashbacks being inserted like that but I’m happy you liked it (;
Grammar is not really my best asset, especially prepositions/conjunctions. I absolutely need to learn more. Thank you for your kind words despite.
Thank you very much for reviewing my story despite the rated scenes. I can never thank you enough for this very insightful review. Im glad you enjoyed the story despite everything. And once again, Im so sorry for the late pick up! I’ll credit now. Thank you once again and sorry for the loooonnnnnng comments :D
JESLEN #4
Chapter 75: 4/5
- gray eyes come from a thin layer of melanin on the front layer of the iris. The blue reflection of light is clouded over by the dark layer in front causing a dark gray color. (haha copied it from a med book lol)
-you’re right about her car injuries, I’ve only described her immense aches and pain after and the switching of faces, I’ve realized I focused too much on the switching that her injuries weren’t emphasized, thank you for emphasizing that
JESLEN #5
Chapter 75: 3/5
Your questions are gold! Thank you! I’ll keep them in mind while writing. Well to answer some of them:
-Changing face is actually possible, but would require lots of sessions. It’s from a theory and no, it isn’t practiced. *hint* from the latest story update, they changed faces, but would the outcome be the same? Would it be successful this time?*hint*hint
-what caused the amnesia---will be revealed later on haha
-whether joongki can take med degrees when he’s still young...ill try to check if I missed out a detail here  haha, I thought i made that info clear before, but apparently it’s doubtful
-whether joongki is thinking about her in the café, then she appeared…well, she’s been on his mind consistently ever since she disappeared and that day wasn’t an exemption.
-about shi hoo looking at her the same way? Let’s see what will happen 
JESLEN #6
Chapter 75: 2/5
For the layout, being consistent is so hard T__T but thank you for pointing the specific flaws. I’ll get to that and correct them. Thank you!

To be honest, I’ve never watched Good Doctor although I loved both Moon Chae Won and Joo Won. All I know is that the drama is all about doctors. Anyway, I’ve thought of a plot involving switching faces and how from that, a story will be created. I’ve added arrange marriage because to be honest, I have a feels for them (that is, before AFF was supersaturated with arrange-marriage fics). From there, Ive thought of making a second male lead as a friend helping the heroine with her struggle, but I’ve thought it too dull. I never really planned on making the doctor her love interest, but after some thoughts, why not? It would be a challenge to write. This is actually my first story and I never really thought about the number of chapters. I never really planned ahead during that time. I was full of daydreams and what ifs, that I became too excited to make it a reality, a story. Looking back, I realized how “short” my chapters are since 3-5 chapters actually happened in just a day. From there, I tried to learn how to balance scenes with my other stories. I knew how tiring it must be to read a long story T__T but since I started Imposter this way, I have to continue with what I have and improve the balancing of scenes till the end. I’ve thought of revamping after completing, and hopefully can publish it in the future 
JESLEN #7
Chapter 75: 1/5
oh my goodness. I didnt realize my review is up, but i saw it when I played a little with google search. Im so sorry for the late pick up!
Anyway for the title, I agree that some may not find it attractive enough, but for now, you're right that I should stick with it since the end is near. I will definitely think of a more mysterious title once I’ve completed and revamped the story. For the graphics, I’m glad someone pointed out the different symbolism it held. The graphic artist definitely understood what the story is all about. I couldn’t ask for more, and we’re the same! Aside from the beauty, I appreciate an artwork more if the artist can imbed hints and important symbolisms. I understand what you’re trying to point out with the trailers. Actually, I requested trailers when the story is only starting. I only gave brief description to the video artists, without giving them the little big reveals. The trailers are actually their interpretation with what little summary I gave them.
yeolsbubbletea
#8
Chapter 77: Oh, and I'm interested about the details of my grammar mistakes. I wish to talk a bit more about it :)
yeolsbubbletea
#9
Chapter 77: Thank you for the review and sorry for the late thank you :) It's a relieve that I can make characters and the plot well, but of course it's a disappointment that reviewer-nim didn't enjoy reading my story 'that much'. Based on your building critiques, I guess I have to learn more and develop a more well established story that can leave a very good taste of the story. It makes me reflect a lot on my own story and reminds me that I still have a lot to improve.
I hope everything will go well for this review shop. Have a nice day! :)