27 | Undisclosed

 

***

 

Chaos and flashes of camera lights -- The moment Seohyun went out the arrival area of Incheon Airport, media outlets rushed to get photos of her. Some also brought out their mics and bombed her with different questions. But most of them are about the sudden comeback. When it's in the middle of school year.

 

Every questions are being ignored by Seohyun, as she only walk like she doesn't hear anything. She's following the bodyguards lead with her sunglasses on to prevent herself from being seen with a tired and swollen eyes. As much as she wanted to wave for few fans waiting, she couldn't. She keeps her hands inside the pocket of her coat while putting on a poker face, until they reached the black car waiting.

 

"How did they know I'm coming home?" Seohyun questioned as soon as she takes the back seat. She put her sunglasses down as the car drives off. She fixed her hair with fingers, as she tried to sit comfortably. 

 

"Media has connections with the Airport, her majesty." Daniel replied. He handed Seohyun a chocolate bar casually.

 

Seohyun munched on her chocolate as she replied, "Does the palace also knew?" Her eyes finds its way outside the window. Her reflection can be seen through the glass.

 

"I'm afraid yes, her royal highness."

 

She let out a tired sigh. "Will she be okay?" Her voice is low and husky.

 

"Who? Yoona or...Peng?" Daniel finally found a way to make Seohyun smile. Although a little only. And she didn't even look at him.

 

"Both." Seohyun replied vaguely.

 

"If Yoona can't feed Peng... Then I'm pretty sure it's Peng. If Peng can't accompany the lonely deer then I guess, it's Yoona." Daniel believes so.

 

Turning her head to face her bodyguard, Seohyun is judging the latter's maturity. He sounded like he's some teenage boy. Worse, a four year old kid. She has never heard him like that. "Silly." Chuckles her as she turned looking outside again.

 

"I'm just making you smile, her majesty."

 

Seohyun suddenly grabs the collar of her coat and covered her own face. "I hope I won't regret thisss!!!"as she whines without any warning.

 

"You're just doing what's best for you and Yoona."

 

"But I know I'm hurting her right now~"

 

"You're also hurting, her majesty."

 

"But she's more than hurting right now."

 

"You shouldn't have left though if-"

 

"NOOOOO!!!" Seohyun got more reason to whine.

 

Daniel raised his hand and pat the young princess' head continuously. "There... there... it'll be alright. Sooner or later, everything will be alright." He certainly understands her situation. But he felt bad for her. She's in double pain. Not only for she decided to leave, but also when she found out about her mother and Yooona's mother. 

 

Seohyun soon relaxes. She keeps herself hiding behind her collar, while she can still feel her heavy chest. It's not going to be surprising if in the next couple of days, it's still so heavy. But she hoped, it won't take a year. Otherwise, she'll be the worse person ever existed in the world.

 

"You'll get used to it soon. Don't worry."

 

"I hope so." Came her very low and lifeless response.

 

 

***

 

 

"She dropped all her subject for no reasons."

 

"If she ever continue her studies, that's probably back in Seoul."

 

Yoona walked out the gate of Cambridge with a swollen eyes, pale skin and heavy chest. She tried her luck in finding her Peng in her University but she failed to see her. The fact that she left without telling where will she be going somehow gives her hope that she's just around London, but it seems like, she wasn't. It seems the girl have left to Seoul, leaving her confuse and heart broken. Confuse because she can't find a valid reason for her to leave her, when last night, they're the most happy couple. There wasn't even any hints that she's leaving. Heart broken, becase she felt like the latter have broken up with her. 

 

She's so worn out now. Everything are like pieces of puzzle. She felt like just killing herself at the moment.

 

"Peng, wae... wae...WAEEEE!!!"

 

-

 

Arriving back to the dorm, she let out a tired sigh upon seeing who is waiting outside. She shrugs and just proceeds to open the door, walking inside momentarily.

 

"Have you eaten?" Xiao Xiao hastily followed inside. "I have some ramen here. You told me the other day you are craving for this, right?"

 

"Don't have appetite." Yoona said almost like a whisper. She climbed upstairs instead, like a zombie. "If you are here to accompany me, then you should just leave. I am not in the mood also to talk." She flopped her body to her bed with a bounce. Her arms eventually encircled around the stuff toy Seohyun intentionally left. "I can't believe her. She left Peng and brought Queen with her. Stupid." mumbles her, burying her face to the fluffy stuff toy. Eyes closes, but her broken heart is still open... for showing it to Xiao Xiao that's she's mourning for the loss of her other half.

 

Xiao Xiao follows also upstairs. She felt so broken also, staring to a broken lonely deer. If it wasn't for Seohyun's explanation, she would have stopped her from going back to Seoul. Yoona's reaction at the moment is not surprising. She's too in love with the girl. There's no way she will celebrate.

 

Taking a seat at the edge of the bed, Xiao Xiao sighed. "Yoong, at least you eat. I'm pretty sure you haven't eaten for the entire day." she's worried. Earlier, their coach complained about her uncharacteristic play in their practice. And that leads to Yoona, leaving the field without even telling them where is she going.

 

Rather than a normal answer, Yoona surprises Xiao Xiao with her soft sobs.

 

"Aigoo, why is this so heavy." Mutters Xiao Xiao as she rubs the doe-eyed girl's back gently. She chuckled, feeling like she's comforting her little sister. "Do you know that she went back to Seoul? If you haven't then you better know. She said she will continue her studies there... And to... Search for herself as well. I didn't know she's this person... Who wanted to find what she really likes to do in life. I thought she already found it... With you. But I guess... She realized something. Whether she will comeback or not, I'm glad to see how happy she is with you, Yoong. She's so in love with you, don't you know that? It must be hard for her to do this. Yet, I still hope she really comes back... Because I think... It's against her well. Something might be just forcing her? I don't know but I think she's lying. Or what? Aigoo..."

 

"If she loves me, she shouldn't have leave me. If she loves me, she should have stayed. She can just do whatever she likes by my side. I'm not being strict about it. Am I?" Yoona mumbles while she's continue sobbing. Hugging the penguin stuff toy tightly.

 

"You know that's not true Yoona. She's always been so vocal how much she love you. And I know you know. Aigoo, I really have a strong feeling there's more on this. It would be so shallow if it's only about finding her dream or something... When she's already so contented being around with you. Probably she has some problem? Aish, why is this so confusing. Seohyun should better come back and explain this honestly to us." Xiao Xiao is having headaches thinking over the  reasons that she can't even find one.

 

Yoona did not stop from crying, which made Xiao Xiao groaned.

 

"I better cook you ramen. You might change your appetite once you have smelled them." She got up from the bed and left the second floor casually. The entire dorm is so quiet unlike these past days. Only Yoona's sad sobs are filling it up. And the atmosphere gets heavier each seconds passes.

 

-

 

Yoona isn't even holding her chopsticks, she's just staring to her bowl of ramen, Xiao Xiao is starting to give up. But out of a sudden, something crosses her mind.

 

"Did you try calling her?"

 

Yoona simply shakes her head.

 

"I'll be doing it then." Xiao Xiao got up and was about to leave when she heard Yoona's cold words.

 

"You're just going to waste your time. She won't answer."

 

She didn't comply and continue her way to the living room. She took her phone from her shoulder bag and dialed Seohyun's number while she's coming back to the kitchen. Yoona is now holding her chopsticks when she takes her seat back, but she's only stirring it, looking down at it with a blank face.

 

It's ringing yet, the other girl is indeed not answering.

 

"See? You're just wasting time. You should finish your meal rather than waiting for someone who doesn't even care to answer you." Yoona bluntly said as she started to finally have some bite of her ramen. It's not too late, it's still hot.

 

Xiao Xiao put her phone on the side and watches Yoona hungrily eating in front of her. 'At least she's now eating. Otherwise, she'll get Skinner. She's already skinny, she shouldn't be skipping meals.' in her thoughts, glad to see the doe-eyed eating. Although she's not the same bright Yoona anymore.

 

Suddenly, her phone rings. She hastily took it and eyes widened when it's Seohyun. She glances over Yoona but the girl seems not paying attention. So she took the chance and answer without telling the broken deer.

 

[Xiao? I'm sorry. I was with my family earlier. I couldn't answer right away. Um, is this about Yoona? If so... Can you tell me how is she doing? I just want to know before I go to sleep. She's doing well right? Please tell me...]

 

Xiao Xiao took a deep breath and exhaled, as she answers back while watching Yoona. "As expected. She's not."

 

Yoona's ears perked as soon as she heard Xiao Xiao is talking. Her heart literally skips a beat, thinking about the possibility that the latter have contacted her girlfriend. Slowly but surely, she stared to the girl before her. Her heart is anticipating for Xiao Xiao to confirm that it's indeed Seohyun on the next line. But her mind on the other hand is anxious.

 

[I see... I hope she will be soon.]

 

"Um, I'm with her. Do you want to talk?"

 

Yoona didn't think twice and she snatched the phone from Xiao Xiao. She was about to talk when she heard the young princess' soft but tired voice.

 

[I don't think it would be okay if I do. Can you take care of her for me, Xiao? It's too much to ask already, I know but... it would be really hard for her to process this. I don't want something bad happen to her at this moment... So I hope, you could help her.]

 

Yoona's tears unconsciously dropped. She felt like being stabbed hearing all those words from Seohyun. It's as if, she has already give up on their relationship. But what was wrong? She's totally confused. "Peng, I hope you could also tell me first what is going on? Last night... we're just too happy spending it so special before our Monthsary. Then the next day... you... you suddenly disappeared, leaving me with a letter I could barely understand. If you want to break up with me, at least give me one solid reason why. So that I could understand. It's breaking me apart.. yet... for an unknown reason. I feel so stupid... I feel so lost. And I couldn't understand... why you left Peng to me? Do you mean something about this?"

 

The moment the call was ended, Yoona realized her tears are once again streaming down her cheeks. She just casually handed back the phone to the owner and wipes her tears off. She ignores Xiao Xiao and just finish her ramen.

 

'Her majesty, you made a wrong decision.' In Xiao Xiao's thoughts, watching Yoona still tearing up while eating. She's not just heart broken, she's mad over Seohyun's sudden decisions.

 

 

*** 

 

 

First night in the palace after coming back from London and first night without Yoona by her side, cuddling with her, Seohyun thought it would be this easy. She's indeed cuddling with queen, but it's still different if the doe-eyed is cuddling with her. She keeps on tossing her body from left to right, right to left, trying to get a better position, it's not helping her at all. She ends up sitting up and groan in frustrations. She can't sleep. Probably because of the time zone as well.

 

Turning her head to the left, her heart got more reason to ache when she saw her sketch of Yoona. Daniel have posted it on her closet's door - how bad.

 

Sigh. She looked down to the stuff toy in her arms, it's even worse. Yoona's scent was still there. The memories of the girl travels with the stuff toy.

 

She squeezed the stuff toy and utters, "I miss you already. I miss you... I miss you... I miss you." She closes her eyes and this time tried not to think of Yoona, but hugging queen won't ever help. The girl's face would always appear to her closing eyes. She opens her eyes again and tried to put the stuff toy away. However, she can't help herself and reached for it again then cuddle with the stuff toy, imagining it was Yoona she's hugging.

 

Sooner or later, her heart have slowly relax and her eyes are getting heavier and heavier until she didn't noticed, she already fell asleep. She's soundly sleeping like a bear.

 

After an hour and half, she finds herself waking up. And as much as she wanted to go back, it's hard again to do so. Especially, that the first person that appears to her mind is her Yoongie. She felt so frustrated again.

 

Getting up, she left the bed with her stuff toy still, wrapping one armaround it, as she walks in the hallway with a tired face.

 

She felt like getting a fresh milk from the kitchen. So she proceeds there, finding the place empty.

 

It's dawn, so all maids are possibly sleeping soundly to their respective rooms.

 

She pulled a chair and take her seat, placing the glass on the table and pour the fresh milk on it. The sound of the liquid pouring was suddenly the only music to her ears, while she's staring to it.

 

Satisfied, she let out a sigh before she gradually drinks for a couple of gulps.

 

A milk mustache can be seen on top of her lips.

 

"I wonder if she's sleeping peacefully?" Again, her mind wanders over one girl she left in London. There's no way it's going to be easy in forgetting a first love. "Did she eat today? Did she scored again in their practice? I hope she's also cuddling with Peng, like I did with queen." Her eyes watered for the nth time. She once again drinks on her milk, as if it's an alcohol. Only that, it's healthy. "I hope you forgive me soon, Yoongie. I didn't mean to do this. But it's the best for us. It's the best for you." She put the stuff toy on top of the table, facing her. She imagined, it's her Yoongie, staring at her as she continue her monologue. "You. Don't you ever think I never loved you. Because I swear... I've been so crazily in love with you since we reunited. You need proof? Ask Daniel once he arrived back there. I'm just doing this because it seems like... It's not yet the right time for us to be with each other's side. Maybe after graduation? Or maybe after your finals? We're destined, I believe in that. Let's just wait patiently for our right moment to be together again. And please... do well in your upcoming games. I'll be still cheering for you here, even though I'm miles away. My Yoongie is the best football player ever! Fighting!" she chuckles, realizing her random silliness. But sure, she felt light talking with queen. As if, Yoona is just indeed before her. "I promise, I will do better on my own as well. So be sure you are too."

 

Sigh. Reaching for the stuff toy again, she gulped nervously when she heard giggles. Her hair rising as she goose bumps... thinking that there's a ghost. Looking from left to right, she hugs the stuff toy tight, as frightens. "Otoke. Otoke... queen. There's a ghost listening to us." She close her eyes tight and buried her face against the stuff toy's head. Soon, she heard foot steps, causing for her to feel more scared. "Yoongie help me... help me... "

 

"Princess, there's no ghost here except for your monologue earlier."

 

Seohyun's heart skips a beat upon hearing the familiar voice. She slowly looked up and find only Director Shin. "Aish!" she literally throws the stuff toy towards the old man. But the latter is fast from catching it on time. 

 

"You wait there." However, Director Shin left out of a sudden.

 

Seohyun was left puzzled and speechless. "Yah! My queen! Bring my queen back!" yet, she realized he brought her stuff toy with him. As much as she wanted to follow, she was lazy to even move from her seat. So she instead drinks her milk. 'I love this. It's making mind and heart relax.' she thought so. Drinking the milk seems easing her wounded heart. If others likes alcohol, her body likes milk more.

 

Pouring another glass, Seohyun is smiling. She drinks her second glass for a couple of gulps only, as Director Shin finally went back. And he didn't even stood, he took a seat next to her.

 

"Give my queen back." But before anything else, she snatched the stuff toy from the old man right away.

 

Director Shin ruffles the princess' hair and put an envelope in front of her. "Here. I think you better know about this now." He beamed in his smile.

 

"This isn't a bad thing... or it is?" Seohyun suspiciously looked at the older.

 

"What can you see in my face, your highness?"

 

She grimaced. "You're fooling around me."

 

"Babo. Just open it."

 

Seohyun felt so weird. Yet, she's also curious of the envelope. She already knew about the box, she might not be surprised with another revelation. She put the stuff toy in the opposite side of the older and put the glass of milk also in the side. Taking a glance to Director Shin, the latter only grinned. She sighs and went back to the envelope. She opens it and papers was inside. Her brows raised, checking on what's the contents. "Daniel's reports?"

 

"Yup."

 

"About my whereabouts in London?"

 

"Yup."

 

Seohyun flipped over pages to pages until she stopped, when all that she can see are her and Yoona's photos. Most of them are showing how sweet are them for each other.

 

Agape, speechless and confused, she slowly turned her head, facing Directoe Shin, whose features are still bright. As if thd photos aren't just nothing for him. "What... Is this?" She voice out a little.

 

"Of course you and Yoong."

 

"Huh?"

 

Director Shin chuckles. "Don't be surprise. That's one of Daniel's reports. And I know you know what does mean."

 

"I... Don't understand." Seohyun continue to be puzzled. However, cheeks are unconsciously turning a shade of red.

 

"Aigoo... That means... I have been aware of your relationship with Yoona... At least for three months now." The older truthfully informed.

 

Seohyun thought for a moment with what shd heard, until it hits her. "Is this why you giggle earlier?" She couldn't hold herself and exclaim.

 

"Uh-huh, your highness." Director Shin nodded. "I'm amused you are talking alone... As if Yoona is with you. Well, I presume, the penguin comes from the footballer? You're missing her, aren't you?" He grinned