Title:Mistake (Part 11)
Pairings:JunxNino
Genre:Angst
Rating:PG-13
Disclaimer:I own nothing but the plot
Word Count:982
Summary:I didn't mean to do it again, but it happened without me realizing until the last minute.

I wondered what went through my head when I let a moan escape my lips as Jun placed feathery kisses down my neck. Or was I really thinking at all. I couldn’t tell. But I could feel everything around me like how the stool I sat on skid backwards when I leaned for more. And how soft and wonderful Jun’s lips felt on my neck -- No. This was wrong. Completely and utterly wrong.

I quickly pulled away when I felt Jun’s hot hand touch my clothed stomach. It was clear to me what he wanted, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted the same thing. Or if I’ll ever want it again. I nearly punched him on the stomach when he dared to kiss me again. However, he pulled back and I wasn’t surprised; he must have seen the face I made.

“Kazu... I...”

I closed my eyes as tears threatened to fall from my eyes, and I couldn’t ignore how Jun called me that way. It just reminded me so much of Sho, and how he smiled when he used my other nickname. “Don’t call me that,” I hissed as I turned my face from his view. “You don’t have the right to call me that.”

“K-- Nino, I was... I’m sorry. I got carried away and--”

“I’m leaving,” I announced abruptly, pushing Jun away when he offered me his arms. “This was all a mistake to begin with. I wasn’t even supposed to be alive.”

“But Nino, I--”

I didn’t get to hear what he was trying to tell me as I had already left his apartment without a second thought. A part of me wanted to go back, to hear him out and maybe reason with his sudden actions. But I dared not to go back. I was the one who willingly gave in for a brief moment. Or maybe my whole existence to him was why he did it. It wasn’t his fault; it was obviously mines.

I didn’t get that far from Jun’s apartment since I really had nowhere planned to go to. The tears that were in my eyes were no longer there, but I could still feel it coming back up. What had I done to all these people? Was the purpose of my life to ruin everyone else’s? Of course it was. That’s all I’ve done since the day I was born. This unwanted child who despite it, was raised under his parent’s roof then only to be thrown out when he didn’t give what his parents wanted. The man who ruined another’s life by killing someone after some stupid fight. And everyone else in the Sakurai family who lost a beloved son, cousin, and uncle.

I... I hate everything. Myself, especially. Why am I still on my feet, living, when I know everyone else wanted me to disappear. So I ran off again, going to nowhere. As long as I’m able to find my death, then I’ll stop. So everyone else will be just happier without me. A world without me... How wonderf--

My feet automatically skidded to a stop. Why does this scene seem so damn familiar right now? Like I’d done it before too? Running away from some situation that I couldn’t stand... Then it came to me. I’ve lived this same scene before and it ended up with blood. Images of Sho’s dead and limp body flashed in my head. I yelled in anger, frustration, and with so much hate that I scratched myself without thinking. I saw red, dark blood drip from my arm and I watched it land on the concrete ground.

I have to go. What if Jun--

I ignored the people looking at me like a madman as I ran past them. They shot me terrified looks when they saw the blood, but it looked more of like they were terrified of me. I know, I’m terrified of me too.

As much as I ran to get rid of the thoughts, it refused to leave. Every time I blinked, I would see his dead eyes staring back at me. I screamed and I pushed even further beyond my normal energy. The veins in my body began to pulsate as if I drank a pound of caffeine. But the energy came from one source only: death. I couldn’t stand it after only seeing one dead body; it would be worse if I see another. How ironic. I was the one who wanted to kill myself yet I didn’t want the others to suffer from deaths hands.

I finally made it back to Jun’s apartment building, but I can see from where I was standing that his door was closed. Not a man dressed in black with a suspicious aura came out another second that I waited. But I ran anyways, to see if he was still alive and not dead because of me. Once I finally stood in front of the door I knocked only to frown when the door slightly pushed open by itself.

“Jun?” I weakly called out, refusing to step in. “A-are you there?”

There was no reply. Only the sound of the refrigerator humming loudly from the kitchen. And of course, I panicked. What I feared for the worse was happening again and it was ALL MY DAMN FAULT! Without thinking, I pushed the door open and almost tripped on something that was carelessly laid out on the floor. However when I saw what it was, I screamed.

On the floor laid Jun’s body and below him was a pool of blood. It looked just like when I saw Sho, only Sho was alive and Jun wasn’t.

“Jun...”

Before I knew it, the world around me went completely dark. But before I lost consciousness, I swore I heard Jun calling out to me as if his ghost form tried to contacted me...

TBC