5/27/13 - 6/1/13 -- Computer Fail
[365 Days Challenge- 1 word a day (2013)]
Titles:Loading, Error, Assistance, Virus, Reboot (Fail), Troubleshooting
Pairing:Ohnox(guess)
Genre:Fluff, Humor
Rating:PG - PG-13
Disclaimer:I own nothing but the plot
Word Count:2256
Summary:Ohno bought a laptop to help him find better locations to fish, but as it turns out, it doesn't help at all. He decides to get help to make his laptop work instead.
A/N: A One-Shot containing drabbles. Does that even make sense? LOL
Ohno Satoshi was not a big fan of computers. In fact, he disliked them (although it has its advantages). Whenever he had the interest of wanting to use the computer to look up great places to fish, both the internet and the computer would fail to meet his expectations. All he wanted was a location, not whatever it is that caused the page to load so slowly. So he sat in front of his laptop, waiting and waiting. Most of the time, it would take hours for the web page to show up, sometimes even days! However, when the page finally stopped loading, he would always receive the same results.
It was always the same, that black bold message on the screen: Not Found, 404 Error. Ohno raised his arms in the air, ready to slam his hands on the laptop when he stopped. No, it was not the right time to get mad. Taking a deep breath, he settled his arms back down to his sides, and decided once again, to search Google. Once the results came on screen (at least that one was fast), he clicked the first link that was given to him (since it was the first one he clicked before). However, once again, he had to wait for it to load before that same irritating message displayed itself on the screen. Taking another deep breath, he pulled his eyes away from the screen and grabbed his home phone. Man, he wanted to go out fishing. It was nice day out too!
Ohno waited patiently for a computer technician, or whatever you call them, to pick up. Just like the computer, he had to wait. And wait. And wait. Ohno was getting even more impatient and irritated. The longer he had to wait, the more he feared that the answering machine will pick up and tell him, “Error 404, Not Found.” That’s it! I’m-- He was about to hang up when finally, someone answered.
“Hello, I will be your computer assistant today. How may I help you?”
At the sound of this unfamiliar, yet somewhat arousing voice, Ohno’s mood suddenly went up. It was a man’s voice, he knew, but something about the way the man delivered his voice was... Ohno couldn’t explain it; he just likes the way the man’s voice sounded through the telephone. He wondered what the man’s name was...
“Hello?”
Ohno snapped away from his thoughts, causing the phone to tumble its way down the rug. He didn’t want the man in the phone to hang up, so he immediately dove for it. Somehow, the man hadn’t hung up yet.
“Uh...” Ohno mumbled into the phone. “Computer won’t work. Says ‘Error 404, Not Found’ all the time...”
“Sorry, sir, I didn’t hear you.”
“Computer says,” He repeated, louder this time, and pointed towards his screen after facing the laptop towards him, “‘Error 404, Not Found’.” Was that loud enough?
“Sir...” The man on the other end of the line sounded as if he was grinding his teeth. “I can hear you perfectly fine.”
Ohno blushed. “Sorry.” Maybe it was too loud.
“Sir, it’s either the page does not exist anymore or the server cannot find what you have requested. May I know what it is you searched for? (Don’t tell me it’s ).”
He thought the man said something after, but it must have been in ears playing tricks on him. After hours of staying up all night just to get to one page, his senses start to act weird. “Uh... ‘best fishing locations’*,” He answered (surprisingly, his answer was faster than his typing).
“Ok... Did you happen to click the first link?”
Ohno nodded his head, wondering if the man was interested in fishing, too.
“Well it says here that the page no longer exists... I wonder why they still put it in the results...”
“But it has to work,” Ohno whined, “It does say ‘Best Fishing Location in Japan’, am I right?”
He thought the man laughed, but then again, it might just be his ears.
“No, sir. I’ve already done diagnostics and research on this page... It does not exist.”
“But...” Ohno sighed dejectedly. Not only did he waste his time waiting for an nonexistence page to load, he wasted his time on sitting in front of the laptop when he could be out there fishing, catching two buckets of nature’s finest.
“Good day, sir. I’m glad I’ve been of--”
“Wait,” Ohno cut him off. He had one more problem before the man hangs up. “What was your name again? I didn’t quite catch it.”
“I never said my name to you, sir. Like I said, good--”
“Please! I’ll tell you mines! It’s Ohno Sa--”
He didn’t even get to tell him his full name since the man abruptly hung up on him. Well, if he happened to have another problem again, maybe, just maybe, he might get to “talk” to him again.
After putting the phone back to where it belonged, he decided, once again, to try other websites. However, once he had the laptop in his hands again, the browser completely shut itself off and the icons on his screen disappeared. This time, Ohno snapped. And coincidentally, his phone started to ring.
Ohno was literally pulling his hairs out of his head. The chaos between the laptop, and the computer assistance who happened to call him back were giving him an unfair treatment. First off, the laptop was being weird and was doing things on its own. While the computer assistant was screaming at him for giving him a virus, and demanding him for money. It’s not fair! Ohno wanted to scream that to the both of them. It wasn’t his fault he didn’t know what he was doing, or what was going on!
“I should have known it was a virus!” The man yelled. “You know I worked so hard to get this damn computer working fine before you called!”
“I’m sorry,” Ohno apologized again as he lightly smacked the laptop, hoping that doing so would help wake it up. “Can’t your boss buy a new computer?”
The man sighed. “I can’t. I don’t have a boss, you idiot. Didn’t you read before you called? I’m the only person working in this whole thing.”
Ohno was confused. Didn’t he call a company earlier? “I don’t understand... I thought--”
“That’s what being able to read is for, you idiot.”
“But what if I can’t read?”
“I-- Oh my God. I’m coming down there right now.”
Ohno looked at his clock. “But it’s already midnight,” He pointed out.
“I know. For now, reboot your computer. I’ll bring my whole damn computer to your house. (Idiot).” After saying so, the man hung up without a warning, not even instructions on how to reboot his laptop.
Ohno was tempted to call again until he stopped himself and asked himself quietly, “How does he know my address?”
After so many attempts and unanswered questions, Ohno still couldn’t figure out exactly how to “reboot” his laptop. He even had to fetch for his dictionary to search for what it meant (since he couldn’t find the booklet of information). According to his dictionary, reboot meant: to boot again, as to restore to normal operation**. Now he knew what it meant, but it didn’t help him at all! How was he supposed to restore it to normal operation if it didn’t tell him how to! But duh, the dictionary wasn’t a booklet. He cursed silently to himself. He should have kept it in a safe place when he opened his laptop the first day he got it.
Just as he was about to get up and search for it again, his doorbell rang.
Troubleshooting -- Day 152
“(It was easy to find you by your IP address). Alright, let’s get down to business,” was the first thing the intruder said as he came in without being greeted or invited by Ohno. Since Ohno had forgotten to turn the light on, all he saw was a dark shadow pass by him. “Well? Are we gonna get this done or not?”
Ohno stared blankly out to the dark street. He wondered which car in the parking lot was the man’s car. Was it the blue sedan? Or that yellow, ugly, beat-up--
“You know, I’m going to start charging you.”
As if the words were food, he immediately closed the door and followed the dark figure to his living room. But wait... wasn’t it supposed to be the other way around? It felt like the man was giving him a tour of his own house.
“Why is it so dark in here? I can’t seen anything,” The man complained. “Don’t you have lights.”
“I do,” Ohno answered nonchalantly, “But I keep forgetting to turn it on.” He really did. After coming home from one of his fishing trips, he would walk in his house without the lights on since it was a normal thing for him. That’s why he preferred fishing when it was dark out (but sometimes, he would fish in the morning which explains why his mother didn’t like it when he was tan).
“Well turn it on,” The man demanded. “I can’t see a damn thing.”
Shrugging, Ohno did as he was told. As soon as the lights came on, he had to close his eyes to stop it from blinding him.
“That’s better,” The man sighed, “Now, where were we?”
As soon as Ohno turned around to attend to this man, he stopped. Never in his life had he ever seen a man so dazzling and attractive under the artificial light; he couldn’t help but gasp.
“Did you reboot it already?” The man asked. “Where’s-- What are you staring at?”
Ohno grinned like when he was little after finding out about how awesome fishing was. He knew, by the sound of the man’s voice from the telephone, that he was attractive. Seeing and being able to talk to him in person was much better than talking to him on the phone earlier. “What’s your name?” Ohno asked, ignoring the man’s questions and strange looks he gave him.
The man clicked his tongue. “That’s not important. Like I said, did you reboot it?”
“No,” Ohno swayed, “I didn’t.”
The man stood up, looking much more irritated, yet so lovely. “You--” The man sighed as if trying to hold his anger in, “this is going to take a while (I knew we should have done this over the phone).”
Ohno heard him mumble and without thinking, he asked him what he meant.
Again, the man clicked his tongue. “No offense, or anything, but it’s useless to help you through the phone, even after one conversation. I don’t think you’d ever get through all this without me being here in person.”
“Oh,” Ohno grinned at the fact that the man went to his house at such an ungodly hour. “What was your name again? I didn’t quite catch it.”
Instead of sighing, the man slammed his palm on the coffee table. If he had done it with more strength, it would have shattered into pieces. “I didn’t tell you my name, and you don’t have to know it!” The man growled.
“But I want to,” Ohno insisted.
“No, you don’t. What you want is a better, faster working computer. Now where is it?”
Ohno quickly ran to his room to retrieve his laptop and handed it towards the man. “Here.”
“Now I’m going to reboot it for you, instead, and I’m going to help you through it, ok? It might take a while.”
It did take a while, and for that time, Ohno still stood near the light switch, staring and enjoying his view. The man had such a cute face, Ohno thought, but what caught his attention more was the mole on his chin and the man’s lips. The man kept biting it and touching it as if he was focused on what he was doing. After half an hour passed, the man finally spoke up.
“There, I rebooted both of our computers. Now all we need to do is go through all these damn settings again. By the way, you--”
The man turned to look at him, but didn’t continue what he was trying to say. Ohno, who couldn’t help himself, was raising his eyebrows and grinning wide towards the man.
“What are you thinking?” The man asked with obvious disgust in his voice. “You look like a creepy old man.”
“I like you,” Ohno confessed. “You’re too pretty to be a geek nerd.”
“Wha--” There was a red tinge forming on the man’s face, but it disappeared once the man glared at him. “I am not putting up for this crap,” He said. “Keep doing what you’re doing, or you’ll pay.”
Ohno grinned. “I have enough.”
The man clicked his tongue, appearing more annoyed than before. However, Ohno couldn’t help but notice a smirk forming on the man’s face. “Now see, the problem with your computer was you,” the man said, “You’re the problem, and I’m going to fix that.”
Ohno’s grinned spread even wider, up to the point his cheeks began to throb in pain. “Is that what they call a troubleshooting guide?” He asked, remembering how almost every technical products have one. Before he led the man to his bedroom, he asked him what his name was (and if he liked fishing).
“It’s Nino to you, you idiot. I’m your troubleshooter.”
END
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