Title:Conscience (Part 8)
Pairings:JunxNino, (Guess)xNino

Genre:Angst
Rating:PG-13
Disclaimer:I own nothing but the plot
Warning:Character death.
Word Count:1249
Summary:I was basically under house arrest, but that didn't mean Jun had a complete control over me.

He left a minute ago after I’ve convinced him that I was going to behave today -- or more so after he asked the landlords to keep an eye on me. I was basically in a house arrest, and I wasn’t even allowed to enter the kitchen or anywhere at all but his bedroom. So I sat on his bed and stayed in the same position even though he’s already left.

Barely a minute had passed and I was already itching to get up on my feet. Though at the same time, I remained in the same position. Who knows I might lose control? Even I can’t get a hold of my own thoughts and my body. Without Jun around, there really was no one to tell me to stop or--

Was it even right to think of him right now? He’s the who stopped me from ending my own life. He wasn’t the one who was supposed to save it so I can be allowed to live on. That wasn’t right. None of this was right. I shouldn’t even be here right now. I should be out there, wandering around aimlessly without any of this bull.

I feel the upper corner of my lips tug as I scorned at the sight of Jun’s face besides him in the photo. He wasn’t even supposed to be in the photo, but the decided to put himself there. And thanks to him on that day, I hadn’t smiled in the damn photo.

“...” I curse under my breath although I’m aware that I’m the only soul in this apartment, “I’ve gotta get out of here...”

Should I, or should I not? I promised Jun that I wasn’t going to do anything all today, or even try something that could jeopardize my life. But what’s it to him? He wasn’t the person behind the controller guiding my every movements and decisions in my life. So what the heck? I ain’t no puppet.

I finally stood up on my feet, my conscience, my stupid conscience, told me to sit back down but I ignored it. Once I slipped the photo in my back pocket, I headed towards the front door. I was surprised, as soon as I slipped my shoes on and opened the door, the landlords weren’t standing right outside the front door. Well, it was abnormal if they actually did, but they were absent. And they weren’t doing a good job of keeping me under house arrest.

But I made sure that either of them were around before I headed down to the first floor and out I was. To freedom and back to whatever it was I tried to do before that ruined it. My feet immediately turned towards the direction of the building I almost took my life in, and strangely, my heart did a small leap. Right when I felt this, I stopped. It was my conscience in my head, speaking to me again. It was telling me to stop whatever I was doing and that I should go back before the inevitable happens.

“ you,” I cursed out loud, causing a couple to look back at me with questioning looks. “Get the out of my head.”

But it doesn’t leave and it just stays there, speaking to me in its annoying voice. Damn. When I took a step forwards, it yelled; I had to stop to massage my head because of it’s shout. After I recovered, I took another step and there it was again, but this time it was louder. I felt the need to argue with it, to tell me to stop whatever it is I’m doing, but I ignore it. So I ran.

It kept screaming and screaming, making my head feel like it’s going to burst into disgusting pink substances. But I don’t stop, even if it meant I was going to suffer from an indirect hangover. I even ignored the pain building up in my legs from the years of leaving it unexercised and ran like it was the end of the world. It wasn’t until I had ran out of breath that I had finally stopped at the same time my conscience silenced itself.

“Fi--”

I felt a drop of water land on my cheek, and another and another until I figured that it was raining. As I was about to turn away to find shelter, I stopped. The sidewalk across from where I was had a pole that indicated which street was where, and one of them had a familiar name. I swear I had seen it before but I didn’t know where. I kept thinking, trying to remember where I had seen that street name...

All the processes in my body had stopped when I began to remember. It was even on my calendar that Jun had written for me after it had happened, and I was just reminded of if yesterday. That’s right, I was standing on the very street with even a depressing name of Blackness Lane, the place where his family had decided to do the viewing.

Without thinking, I ran. I know where I was going, but I told my feet to stop. It didn’t. It was as if my conscience was paying me back with revenge, but I know it wouldn’t do that. Consciences are usually the good guy, right?

My feet finally obeyed, but it was too late. I had already barged in the middle of silence time while some people I recognized as close friends of his were sobbing in the corner. They all stopped to turn their eyes on me: the only person who didn’t wear black attire, but instead it was a soaked casual clothing. I feel my heart stop at their eyes and it didn’t move until I found Jun’s eyes staring back at me.

He must be wondering why I was here.

“Ninomiya-san?”

Besides me, his little brother, I always doted on, called out my name. I didn’t turn to look at him, afraid that he was staring at me with angry eyes. Instead, I ignored him. I didn’t know what to say and I was scared that whatever came out of my mouth would hurt him and everyone else in the room. Though in my head, I muttered a silent, “Sorry.”

Soon, everyone was coming towards me. Those I knew very well from his college and mostly relatives who claimed to be fond of me. Maybe they aren’t so much fond of me after what had happened. But just like his little brother, I ignored them all. They must hate me after I had taken their loved one away...

“Nino...”

I ignored Jun too and slapped his hand away from my arm.

“You don’t have to be here... Go home, Nino...”

I can’t speak and that’s because my body wasn’t allowing me to. It wasn’t until I had reached him where he laid looking oh so peacefully in his forever slumber. I hear it, a small sound escape my mouth as I kneeled in front of him and clutched the edge of the coffin.

“I... I’m so sorry...” I sobbed, “It was all my fault... Sho...”

What happened after, I had no clue. But I remember crying so hard as I saw his dead face again before Jun had caught me as the world around me blackened...

TBC