Title:Can't (Part 7)
Pairings:JunxNino
Genre:Angst
Rating:PG-13
Disclaimer:I own nothing but the plot
Warning:Character death.
Word Count:1102
Summary:I guess I was feeling fine prior to what happened yesterday, but it wasn't until Jun reminded me of something.

Jun came back from the kitchen to check up on me. I know he’s just worried that I might overhear the conversation between him and the police -- this time, he had the right to be. Since they’ve arrived, I was able to hear everything they were talking about especially when they whispered about me. But I was only able to pick up a couple of words, and ‘murderer’ wasn’t one of them.

“Do you need anything?” Jun asked me for the third time he stopped by his room.

I’ve already told him the same answer three times, but it seems that he keeps being persistent about my well-being. It’s not like I was an elderly or a disabled man who was in dire need of help. But with the way I am now, I guess it’s the reason why he's being so persistent. My eyes roll in a full circle. "Water. Get me water."

"'I'll be back as soon as I can."

He left shortly after before he made sure that he left the door slightly open -- another reason why I was able to hear their hushed conversations. A minute later, he came back with a glass full of water and took a seat besides me as he set the glass aside. He must have suspected I didn't need it after all.

"Aren't you supposed to be out there entertaining the police?"

He chuckled. "They already left."

"Well I don't need to be entertained. Entertain your books or something."

“But are you sure you’re fine? Are you still...”

I followed his gaze and saw that he was staring at the photo I hand in my. The events of yesterday was all a blur to me, but I remember I wasn’t in my right mind. I hid the photo from his view and slightly nodded my head. I guess I am feeling a bit better.

“Are you sure?” Jun asks again as he moved closer to my liking. “Do you--”

“Stop treating me like the elderly,” I snapped as I feel a tug on the corner of my upper lip. “Just... leave or something.”

“I live here, Nino. You can’t kick me out unless you’re the landlord.”

I clicked my tongue in annoyance. “I know that.”

“But you do know I’m worried too, right?”

“Yes.”

“Let me at least help... you haven’t moved from the bed since you woke up.”

It’s true I haven’t moved from the bed, but that didn’t meant that I needed help getting up. I can do it on my own without his help. Just as I was about to get up, however, I felt a hot hand on my forehead. I was immediately pushed back down before I could even make the effort to get up.

“And did you know you were sick?”

I looked at him funny. “Sick? Since when was I sick? I’m totally fine. I--”

“You were sweating so hard when I checked to see if you were sleeping well last night. I checked your temperature and you’re above the normal temperature range.”

“So? That doesn’t mean I’m sick.”

“Yes, you are. Your skin is as pale as my sheets.”

“But--”

“Oh, stop being stubborn,” Jun groaned sarcastically as he lightly tapped my forehead with his fingers. “Just re--”

He was unable to continue whatever he was about to say when all of a sudden he tripped. I closed my eyes because I thought that he was going to poke me with his fingers, but when I opened them, I saw that he was just two inches above me. I was able to smell the honey-like fragrance coming from the skin of his neck, and how I can clearly hear him gulp a huge lump of saliva.

I frowned. “Stop playing tricks with me, Jun. Go and do something else other than joke with me. I’m not in the--”

That bastard cut me off and had done something that only one person I ever allowed to do: he kissed my damn forehead. Just as I was about to open my mouth to curse at him, he left in a fast speed that he almost knocked the glass of water on the floor. He didn’t even bother to close the damn door and he just left it open, swinging back and forth from the sudden rush of wind.

I sighed. I couldn’t stay mad at Jun and it wasn’t his fault he ended up in that situation. Besides, I didn’t even mind otherwise it would be extremely awkward if he happened to stay in that position for no apparent reason. As I laid back down and finally accepted I was sick, I put the photo back into my view and smiled when I saw his face. It was shining and handsome as ever, but I know I’m not able to see his face again. But everything he and I did together will forever stay in my memories.

“Nino?”

I look up and see that there was no one there, but I know very well that it was Jun hiding behind the door.

“What is it?”

“I know you still haven’t recovered and a week hasn’t even passed, but...”

“Spit it out,” I demanded when he paused halfway his sentence.

“... Will you able to go tomorrow?”

“Where?”

“To his... viewing...”

I feel my eyes widen and my heart clench painfully in my chest. Since the past few days, I was so lost in everything that I had forgotten about tomorrow. I... I wasn’t ready to see his still and pale face, and I don’t think I’ll ever be ready to see it. I can’t... I... I can’t...

“Nino?”

I can’t...

My hands began to shake so hard that I feel every nerve and fiber in body numb altogether. My eyes, my face, my legs, my whole body shook and I was no longer in control of what was happening. Before I knew it, I fell to the edge of the bed and I almost hit the floor if it wasn’t for Jun who had realized what was happening to me. Even I didn’t know what was going on.

“It’s ok,” I hear Jun whisper as he rocked me back and forth on the floor. “I won’t let you go. I promise... You don’t have to see him.”

Since my mouth was numbed, I couldn’t muster a single thanks to him. But I think he understood me as I feel my body begin to calm down.

As much as I loved him, I cannot bring myself to face his dead body again...

TBC