Title:Sleep (Part 14)
Pairings:JunxNino
Genre:Angst
Rating:G
Disclaimer:I own nothing but the plot
Word Count:1001
Summary:It felt like that first night when I slept with Jun.

I stood in front of Sho’s grave. All I could do was stare at it blankly, but I can feel something inside of me move. Sakurai Sho, the gravestone said, a loving son and brother. It kept telling me this, making the words roll in my head like thunder. I hadn’t realized till now that he was gone forever. No one will see him anymore but through photos of him and his grave. There was no one to call Sho, to see him for the way he is, loving -- as the gravestone said -- everyone around him. Then I felt it, that small something move harshly inside of me.

I must have startled everyone, his family and Jun around me as I began to weep. Jun tried to keep me on my feet, but he let go since he probably knew it was the right thing to do. As I fell to my knees, I moved closer to Sho’s gravestone and wrapped my arms around it, like I would to Sho when he was still with us. It was wrong for me not to feel anything yesterday, so wrong of me, but there was nothing I could do. Nothing to bring Sho back and make everyone happy again, make me happy.

“Nino... let’s go home. Today’s been enough for you.”

Jun gently grabbed my arms, helping me stand back up on my feet again. As he led me to his car, I leaned onto him for support.

“I lied,” I whispered. “About yesterday.”

Jun hushed me. “I know.”

He didn’t say anything after, probably so he wouldn’t make me cry even more. I wanted to tell him to talk to me on the way home, but nothing would come out. Instead, I kept quiet and stared at the passing houses, buildings, and trees that we had passed by.




“Nino, are you ok?” My boss, who started to call me like everyone does, asked me worriedly. “Do you want to go home? Because I’ll let you take a day off.”

“No, Masaki... I’m fine. I just had a long day that’s all.”

Thank God Masaki was my boss. He’s kind -- much kinder,actually -- than the last company manager I worked for before I left because of the accident. I’ve only began working today, but it seems like my boss had already considered me as someone who’s been working there for a long time. He didn’t ask me anymore questions since he must have noticed I wasn’t in the mood. Still, I worked. I needed to because I had to do something else other than mope around.



“How was your first day?” Jun asked me as soon as he came home from work. “Hectic? A lot of people coming in, buying more games?”

“No. Just a normal day. It’s not like a new game was released,” I answered flatly. I hadn’t meant to, but it just came out that way.

“Nino...”

“Save it,” I said, not wanting to hear him apologize about this morning. “It’s not your fault, Jun. Stop feeling guilty about it.”

“But, Nino, I...”

“I don’t want to hear it,” I snapped harshly as I stood up from the couch. “Just let me rest today, ok, Jun? Besides, it’s past midnight.”

“Then why didn’t you go to sleep?”

“I... I don’t know...” I honestly didn’t. Since there was nothing else I could say, or think of an excuse as to why I was still up when I had work first thing in the morning. Instead of answering, I headed to my room -- or Jun’s spare room.

I tried to go to sleep, tried to count sheep, and tried to think of sleep, but it just wouldn’t come. The way I am now, I felt like I did when I first came to Jun’s apartment: depressed and restless. Except this time, I wasn’t thinking about killing myself, now that I thought of how stupid it was. Maybe, just maybe, Jun has his door open like the first time too. As I was about to get up, however, I stopped myself.

Why, at this time when I old enough, would go to Jun’s bed as if he was my parents? I admit, I was a child when I went to sleep with Jun for a couple of nights, but I was fine, right? I can handle sleeping on my own without him... Then again, he was there to help me sleep. To soothe me when I was crying in my sleep. To whisper silent lullabies in my ears as I wandered off to sleep land. Without me even realizing it, I was standing in front of Jun’s door. When did I get here?

To my surprise, the door was ajar. Just like the first night I came to Jun’s apartment.

“Jun?” My voice croaked awkwardly as I pushed the door open. “Are you awake?”

“I haven’t closed my eyes yet.”

That child part of me wanted to grin happily, but the adult side of me wanted to go away back to my own room. Yet, that child part of me was the strongest as it told me to lay down on the empty side of Jun’s bed. “May I sleep here?” I asked quietly as I inched closer and closer to the edge of his bed.

There wasn’t an immediate reply, but Jun moved himself slightly to the edge of the bed. He didn’t have to do that since it’s not like I had a big body. Still, it was an answer.

“Thanks,” I murmured as I slipped under his blanket. As soon as I made myself comfortable, I feigned for sleep. This feeling washed over me those past few nights I slept on his bed. Why was it so damn comfortable? He and I had the same bed sheets, the same blankets, and the same bed, yet his felt different. Much, much different.

Soon, I found myself falling asleep.

TBC