previous chapter

‘Sica, you need to forget all your past. Don’t waste your time for someone is not worthy and don’t waste GD oppa,’ Tiffany told her.

‘I know. I think I just need to face my past for the last time before I started a new love,’ Jessica said.

‘You want to confront Donghae oppa?’ Yuri asked, shocked.

‘Yes, I want to know everything. Every single thing, the reasons he dumped me and all other things. You knew he never tells me why he dumped me,’ Jessica said softly.

‘Yeah, we knew. If you are ready to confront him, you need to be strong. Don’t show him your weakness,’ Taeyeon told her.

‘Nehh, I know. I’ll do it soon,’ Jessica said, determined.

All of them are happy for Jessica but a bit worried because she wants to face her first love, Lee Donghae. The owner of Jessica’s heart for a long time even though after he hurts her so much.

Still on 25 december, late night.

Jessica is still listening to GTop new album. While listening to the songs, she’s thinking about the message that GD wrote for her.

To my ANGEL,

All men are all same but I am different, believe me girl

I am different from those other guys you met

I said with my whole heart that ‘I will only look at you’

There won’t be betrayal

I feel happy when you are next to me so I am not alone

-Jessica POV-

Did GD oppa just confessed to me by that message?

I know he likes me. Ani, he loves me. I know that.

His actions n words show it all.

I know he almost said the magic words when we were together at music core, but luckily, I stopped him.

I stopped him because I’m not sure with my own feeling.

Do I love him? I like him and I think I do love him but I’m just not sure because I know Donghae’s still has a space in my heart….

I don’t want to lose Jiyong oppa. But I just can’t let Donghae oppa go too.

Am I being selfish?

If Jiyong oppa confessed, what will I said to him?

Will I accept or reject him?..................................

-End POV-

After that, Jessica keeps the album in her drawer. Suddenly, she saw a box that she has been keeping for almost 2 years in her drawer. She took the box and opens it. Inside the box, laid a very stunning man’s bracelet, made from diamonds.

She took the bracelet with tears in her eyes and then all her past running through her mind..

-FLASHBACK-

Jessica and Donghae meet each other since their training days. Jessica already trained for almost 3 years when she first met the new recruited teenager, Lee Donghae.

They become really closed and she has liked him since then. In Jessica’s 6^th years of training, they officially become a couple. Jessica really2 love Donghae. He was her first love. Back then, Donghae was really popular among the trainees because he is a very handsome boy.

They become a couple after Jessica made a confession to him because she just can’t hold her feelings anymore. So, she made a brave decision to confess to him first and she’s so lucky because Donghae accepted her and said he likes her too.

Even though they are a couple, Donghae was actually a bit confused with his feeling but he never told Jessica because she seems so in love with him. He likes her so much but he thinks it’s too soon for love. Jessica is the one that constantly said ‘ I love you’ to him but he never said the magic words to her. He always said ‘I like you’ but never love. Jessica thought Donghae is still unconfident to declare his love, so that’s why he never told her the magic words. Jessica doesn’t care much because she’s happy being with Donghae even though sometimes she does feel insecure.

When SUJU debuted, many negative rumors about HaeSica spread. Their cyworld’s messages, their selcas pictures together and the biggest one was the kissing video. But truthfully, that persons in the video were not HaeSica, it’s just someone look alike them.

Jessica has gained antifans and has anti-fanclub even before she debuted. During all the hard times, Donghae was always there to support her. He always gave advices to her and told her to be strong. Seeing Donghae always by her side, she is convinced that Donghae loves her, it’s just he’s just don’t know how to confess.

After SNSD debuted, HaeSica is still in a secret relationship but they seldom get the chance to meet because of the tight schedules.

After two years SNSD debuted, Jessica was planning to give a surprise to Donghae on the Christmas Day for their 4^th years anniversary. Jessica has been saving her payments to buy a very special present for him. She sketch her very own design of a bracelet for Donghae and made an order at Tiffany N Co. The bracelet is not just a common bracelet because it was made by diamonds. It’s very expensive, that’s why Jessica’s been saving her payments

.

On the Christmas Day, midnight

Donghae told Jessica to meet him at their secret place, a park not far away from their dorm. Jessica was very excited and she bragged about it to all her members. The other girls were happy seeing Jessica so happy and excited to give the surprise present to Donghae. They admire Jessica because she’s willing to waste most of her payments for Donghae’s present.

On that night, Jessica put on her sweater and waits for Donghae. She wears a hoody to prevent people recognized her but usually no one will be there at midnight, only her and Donghae.

‘Sica-ah,’ Donghae called her.

Jessica smiled at him and motions him to come and sat with her on the bench. The neatly and beautifully wrapped present was on the bench. When she seeing Donghae’s face, she can felt something is wrong.

‘Oppa, what’s wrong? You look weird,’ Jessica asked him.

‘Sica-ah, I need to tell you something very important,’ Donghae said.

‘Me too and I want to give something special for you,’ Jessica said excitedly.

‘Please, let me say it first,’ Donghae said sternly.

‘Arasso. What is it, oppa?’

‘Sica-ah, let’s break up,’ he said softly but loud enough for Jessica to hear it.

‘Oppa, you are joking right?’ she asked, totally shocked.

‘Ani, I’m not joking. Let’s break up,’ he said again.

‘Oppa, what’s wrong? Have I done something wrong?’ Jessica asked with tears in her eyes.

‘Ani, you’ve done nothing. It’s just, I don’t know. Let’s just break up and live our life,’ he said.

‘Oppa, don’t do this. I love you so much. We have been together for 4 years. Let’s not waste our relationship, chaebal oppa,’ Jessica begged, tears were running down her cheeks.

‘Sica, please don’t cry. I really don’t want to do this but,’ Donghae can’t find a perfect words to explain.

‘Oppa, you know how much I love you. Please oppa! I’ll change myself to become a better person, I promise you, oppa,’ Jessica said still sobbing.

‘Ani, you don’t need to do anything. We are still young, Sica-ah. I’m sure you will meet someone better than me,’ he told her.

‘I don’t want anyone else, I just want you, oppa’ Jessica said.

‘Mianhe, Sica,’ Donghae hugged her tightly and let her cried in his arms.

After a while, he whispered to her.

‘Good bye, my pretty Sica. I’ll never forget you and our precious memories together,’ he kissed her forehead.

After that, he left. He left Jessica alone at the park. Jessica cried her heart out, she was really broken. Her heart was breaking into pieces.

‘Why are you leaving me oppa?’

‘What a great Christmas present you gave to me, Lee Donghae.’

Jessica went back to her dorm in a very miserable condition. Her members were really shocked seeing her like that. She ends up crying in Yuri’s arms and told them everything that happened. The other girls never seen Jessica being so sad and weak because Jessica is a strong girl but Lee Donghae just turn her into a very fragile and heartbroken girl.

After that day, Jessica is been acting so cold, more cold than before whenever she’s seeing Donghae. Heechul always said that Donghae left her because he wants to protect her from all his crazy fangirls but honestly, Jessica never believed it.

However, after 6 months broke up, Donghae started to approach her again. He seems to like her again and Jessica quite happy with that situation. But then, she heard rumors about Donghae with other girls. She didn’t fully believe it but Donghae started to avoid her again.

Once again, Jessica was hurt by Lee Donghae. Jessica decided to just forget about Donghae and treated him like her closed friends. But Donghae always makes her confused. Sometimes, his actions towards her and his words were showing that he still likes her. However, there were also times when Donghae completely ignoring her, like she never existed. She never knew how Donghae feels towards her until one day he came to her and said ‘ I love you, pretty Sica’.

The magic words that she has been longing for almost 4 years when they were dating. Finally, she heard it from Donghae’s own mouth, her first love. But when he said that to her, she doesn’t know how she actually felt. She was neither happy nor sad. Maybe she’s been suffered too much because of Donghae, that’s why she’s like feeling less when Donghae confessed to her.

-End POV-

Jessica can feel tears were streaming down her cheeks when she remembered about her past with Donghae. She looks at the bracelet, the one that she intends to give to Donghae.

She wipes her tears off and took her phone.

To: Pabo Bada

From: Pretty Sica

Oppa, meet me at the park right NOW.

I have something really important to tell you.

After that, Jessica put on her hoody and ready to face her first love, Lee Donghae.

When Jessica walks out from her room, the girls are all looking at her.

‘Sica, where are you going?’ Sooyoung asked.

‘I need to do something really important,’ Jessica told them.

YoonYulTiTaeng knew what’s going on.

‘Be careful. Don’t let anyone see you,’ Taeyeon told her.

‘Be strong, Sica. You can do it,’ Yuri said and hugs her.

Yoona, Fany and Taeyeon also gave her a hug. Jessica walks out from their dorm and heading to the quiet park.