yo,

i apologize for taking a few days to update, and i'm going to go ahead and apologize for how slow updates might be for a while. i'm not really sure how to explain it, but.. like, i don't go to school and i don't have a job so i have from when i get up to when i go to bed to write (and draw / also i usually stay up thirty/forty hours before going to sleep, so that's a lot of time that i could be using to work), but ive been so.. stressed? drained? im not really sure, even when i sit there and try to figure out what's wrong. i've got a huge to do list (that i'll post below) involving drawings and writings, and i'm trying to get myself to do everything, i've even forced myself to not get onto tumblr or dA and barely youtube and aff to try and get myself to focus, but i'm still taking forever. i've been so emotional (mostly really, really extremely angry and depressed) and even self-destructive lately, but dom hasn't called for a therapist and just alkjghfdjkhl. and i've still got that stomach thing going on and it's getting worse, but the doctor hasnt called back and :(( i'm really letting go and everything's becoming a burden and it's becoming a little difficult to get my words out for writing even though i'm trying to get everything on track and trying to get my together, but i just.. i dunno, honestly..

and to show im not being lazy or anything, here's my to do list (copied and pasted from the document file saved on my computer):

vmin ;

    i.    "you accidentally chained your bicycle to mine and now i can't leave without you coming back" tumblr prompt

    ii.    vmin au about Jimin being bullied, and Tae being one of the bullies, and then he falls for him... He doesn't need to bully him" tumblr prompt

    iii.    akatsuki no yona!au

    iv.    " you see me climbing onto the ledge of the my window on the forth floor and tries to stop me from doing anything stupid but actually this is the only place                         where wifi works i'm not afraid of heights but you look pale do you need to lie down " tumblr prompt

    v.    " yesterday night I was 100% sure that this was my car and climbed into the backseat and slept because i was too drunk to drive. when I woke up oh yeah this is                 nothing like my car and a stranger is driving it how can he not notice me " tumblr prompt

    vi.    city in the sky!au | half vmin!cen half ot7!cen |

    vii.    scene in you were gentle blue and i was fiery red (together we were pretty purple) tumblr request

    viii.    "Every time I get in a fight you patch me up but now I'm the one patching you up after you tripped on thin air." tumblr prompt

    ix.    universe gods!au (***WORK IN PROGRESS***)

    x.    part three to angst

    xi.    fluff loosely based on jimin filling out taehyung's profile

    xii.    club!au ; taehyung owns a popular club, jimin's a popular club rat that decides to visit taehyung's club when he goes to daegu ; inspired by and to be lightly                        based on jay park's mommae

assassin!au ;

    i.    seokjin character chapter (***WORK IN PROGRESS***)

    ii.    taehyung character chapter (***WORK IN PROGRESS***)

    iii.    namjoon character chapter

    iv.    yoongi character chapter

    v.    jeongguk character chapter

    vi.    jinkook relationship development chapter

    vii.    kookiemon relationship development chapter

    viii.    sugamon relationship development chapter

    ix.    jihope relationship development chapter

minecraft!au ;

    i.    yoonjin intro chapter

    ii.    kookiemon intro chapter

    iii.    vmin into chapter (***WORK IN PROGRESS***)

    iv.    hoseok intro chapter

    v.    ot7 chapter

    vi.    fillers

soul eater!au ;

    i.    vmin intro chapter

    ii.    kookmonseok/bro!namseok/kookiemon/junghope intro chapter

    iii.    yoonjin intro chapter (***WORK IN PROGRESS***)

    iv.    ot7 intro chapter

    v.    fillers

children of the flowers!au (for sea);

    i.    jimin intro chapter

    ii.    taehyung intro chapter

    iii.    seokjin intro chapter

    iv.    yoongi intro chapter

    v.    namjoon intro chapter

    vi.    jeongguk intro chapter

    vii.    hoseok intro chapter

    viii.    ot7 intro chapter

    ix.    vmin chapter

    x.    sugamon chapter

    xi.    2seok chapter

    xii.    junghope chapter

    xiii.    jinkook chapter

freakshow!au ;

    i.    jimin intro chapter

    ii.    taehyung intro chapter

    iii.    seokjin intro chapter

    iv.    yoongi intro chapter

    v.    namjoon intro chapter

    vi.    jeongguk intro chapter

    vii.    hoseok intro chapter

    viii.    ot7 intro chapter

    ix.    fillers

drawings ;

    i.    dom's tattoo

    ii.    dom's request (***WORK IN PROGRESS***)

    iii.    city in the sky!au concept art for better description (***WORK IN PROGRESS***)

    iv.    universe gods!au concept art for better description (***WORK IN PROGRESS***)

    v.    redesign all 12 characters for project

    vi.    design all 30+ (?) things for project

now im not saying i havent been writing at all, it's just im getting distracted-ish and just— everything's a mess, and my parents are starting to drink a little bit (not that much considering we have hardly any money) more again and fight when isn't helping anything

again, im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry and i really really hope none of you guys will be mad at me or hate me for all of this, im really trying super hard to get everything on track and clear my mind ;;;__________;;; i hope this horrible state doesnt last long or, at least, get worse because then.. well im sure my suicidal side would get worse but!! you dont need to worry about that, because i have not been thinking about it for a while because ive been too busy. again, i hope this doesnt last long/get worse and i hope you guys dont get mad or hate me ;;;;v;;;;

with love,

tae