title, y o u ' r e  a  d i c k  (b u t  y o u ' r e  m y  d i c k)

>> vmin // fluff // laps // 3k // a.n: okay so i thought i uploaded this already but apparently not??? i finished this in like april lol im sorry but seriously i thought i uploaded this, but i looked through the chapters like four times but no, i never did oops. also twO HUNDRED AND TWO SUBSCRIBERS AND FORTY UPVOTES???? HOLY GUYS HONESTLY. ;; ILUSM <333 (ps the park mentioned is busch gardens in williamsburg, ia ;v; )

oh.

oh.

oh, this wasn't fair in any way. this wasn't fair at all and this is the highest level of betrayal, of taking someone's trust and throwing it onto the ground only to step all over it.

"you're a ," jimin hisses quietly as he eyes the large building painted a pure black that blends with the black background of the night sky and tenses at the screams of bloody murder coming from inside, "you know i hate this ."

taehyung only grins like a cheeky bastard, arm thrown around jimin's neck to keep the older in place as they take some steps closer to the entrance of the haunted house. taehyung leans over to press a kiss behind jimin's ear, lips grazing over his earlobe slightly. "c'mon, just one? for me? i mean what's the point of agreeing to come with me to a place decked out for Halloween and not go into at least one maze?"

jimin doesn't respond, back straight, fists shaking from squeezing too hard, eyes wide and sharp from worry, lips pursed and taehyung has to drag jimin forward when the line starts moving again. jimin's breath almost stops when they stop beside the employee watching how many people go in at a time because that means they'll be the first to go in and jimin doesn't like that one ing bit. taehyung rubs jimin's shoulder lightly before removing his arm and standing in front of him, taking jimin's much smaller and chubbier hands into his own to place them on his hips. "here, i'll be in front to block most of the impact. you can even bury your face between my shoulder blades or something," taehyung tilts his head to look over his shoulder at his stiff boyfriend and jimin finds himself relaxing because taehyung looks pretty with his eyes large, eyebrows raised slightly, lips pressed together and corners tilting up in a ghost of a smile, and shadows cast on his face from the dim light in front of them. but just barely because the employee smiles at them, moving his hand so they can start shuffling into the building and jimin swears he feels his heart stop and stomach drop as taehyung walks, dragging jimin behind him.

jimin bites his bottom lip, looking around carefully and hesitantly. the inside is dark and slightly dank and quiet save for the terrifying soundtrack and scratches coming from the walls, and jimin doesn't much care for it. all the hairs on jimin's neck and arms stand up as goosebumps form on his skin making him step a bit closer to taehyung. they're five steps into the building when taehyung jumps. "oh my god!"

jimin jerks backwards and almost collides with the person behind him, a loud shriek leaving him. taehyung throws a small smirk at jimin over his shoulder, and jimin swears he's going to punch his boyfriend in the face later as people farther back in the group laugh quietly, but then there's a way-too-detailed skeleton that yells at them and jimin screams, his face going between taehyung's shoulder blades. taehyung grins faintly at this, moving jimin's hands until they're linked on taehyung's abdomen. jimin suddenly becomes painfully aware of how closed in the maze in, and jimin suddenly thinks that either he's claustrophobic or the tight squeeze of the hallways is suffocating because there are people behind these blasted walls waiting to jump out at him.

taehyung's laughing not only at jimin's screams of terror, but everyone else's and it doesn't make jimin feel any better because he's sure taehyung is going to say something along the lines of 'those screams were the opposite of manly, jiminie' with some satanic laughter following. jimin swallows and he finally dares to lift his head because he doesn't want taehyung teasing him too bad later, but he presses his face against taehyung's back just as quickly because he's sure prison bars aren't supposed to move so easily like that and that skeleton's hand was way too close to him. jimin releases whimpers as his arms go as far as they can around taehyung's sharp hips and his fingers are digging into the cloth of taehyung's black and white plaid over-shirt and white t-shirt. jimin begins to think that almost everyone in this maze has it out for him because it seems like every scarer they've passed has screamed at him and it gets him every damn time.

everything has quieted down except for the faint screams in the distance and the eerie soundtrack playing and the sounds of nails on the walls from scarers hiding behind them, and jimin almost sighs in relief because that hopefully means they're at the end so he lifts his head, but all he sees is a hand reaching out for him and a skeleton that jimin's sure is going to haunt his dreams for a while. jimin screams way louder than he would've liked and in a pitch way higher than he would've like, dropping down and falling against taehyung's legs. "what the ?!"

taehyung is surely getting a kick out of this because he laughs at jimin before helping jimin back to his shaking legs and practically drags the older through the rest of the maze. jimin pants deeply, pressed against taehyung's side and he's relaxing at the thought of them finally at the end because he sees the lights beaming at them as if leading them towards it, but just as they walk out of the tunnel, a small door on the side is slammed down and loud yelling is all he hears. jimin shrieks and he knows his voice is going to be ed tomorrow, collapsing to his hands and knees as if his body became jelly. taehyung howls with laughter and lets jimin shiver on the ground for a few seconds before he notices some terrified people that look as if they're going to run out of the maze any second, hands sliding under jimin's underarms to lift him up and out of the way.

"i'm going to be sick," jimin slurs, practically all over taehyung in order to stand as taehyung leads them over to a bench. jimin groans over-dramatically once they're seated and he buries his face into his hands, elbows on his knees. taehyung rubs his hand over jimin's back up and down with a grin. it takes thirteen minutes of gentle caresses, small 'it'll be okay's drowned by snickers, and serious rethinking of life decisions (namely the one where he said yes when taehyung asked him out) for jimin to sit up slowly and glare at the snickering carrot top he calls his boyfriend. "you're a ."

"yes," taehyung leans over to kiss jimin's temple with one side of his mouth curled up. "but i'm your ."

jimin's face scrunches into a look of disgust, swatting at taehyung's hand that rests on his thigh. "don't ever say that again."

taehyung chuckles, throwing an arm around jimin's neck and leaning against him. "you know, those screams were so manly, jiminie."

ing called it, jimin thinks as he slightly leans away from the faded orange haired and tries to calm his still pounding heart. jimin suddenly feels exhausted, head drooping and falling onto taehyung's shoulder. taehyung smiles, hand rubbing jimin's bicep lightly and relaxing against the bench as he watches the people that walk by. "never again," jimin whispers in a shaky, but agitated voice, "never again am i going to agree going anywhere with you."

taehyung pouts lightly, but a rectangle smile forms again as he looks down at jimin. jimin's face shows no trace of anger or resentment of any sorts, so taehyung can tell he's only saying that and it makes him giggle quietly. jimin can feel his cheeks heat up slightly, firm pout forming as his forehead rests on the side of taehyung's neck and taehyung bites his lower lip in an attempt to keep his smile from widening, but to no avail so he just lets it slide from his grip. jimin has one hand on taehyung's lap, his other on his own from his arm being squished between the two boys. they sit like this for quite some time before jimin leans away from taehyung and raises a hand to slap the end of taehyung's snapback. taehyung's playful smile drops into a pout, hands going up before flopping onto his lap as his eyes shift to meet jimin's gaze and the older simply grins innocently, even going as far as pressing his hands together at the heels and holding them under his chin.

"jerk," taehyung mumbles as he lifts his snapback off his head and jerks forward slightly to move his hair towards the front of his head. jimin stares at all the flimsy, soft-looking strands that fly up when taehyung removes the hat before the insult sinks and he practically gapes like a fish. "says the one that bribed me here then forced/ me into a maze and just laughed at me! i was genuinely terrified in there!"

taehyung's playful, child-like and blocky grin forms again and he blinks innocently at jimin. jimin crosses his arms over his chest and stands up. "i'm leaving," he spits as he storms away from his of a boyfriend. taehyung shoots up and skips after jimin, quick to catch up with him because of his long legs allowing him to take strides that would normally take jimin three steps to reach and he slips an arm around jimin's leather-clad hips. "you sure you don't want to get on a ride before we leave?"

"no," jimin responds as soon as taehyung's question ends and taehyung blinks. "okay.. get any food?" taehyung head tilts at the end of the sentence and jimin rolls his eyes, shoulders curving downwards. "we've eaten at practically every place that sells food since we've been here, so no."

taehyung pouts faintly, forehead resting against jimin's temple. "go through another—"

"hell no!" jimin squeaks, head whipping around to glare wide-eyed at the younger. taehyung simply smiles slightly sheepishly, arm moving up to hang around jimin's neck. "okay, okay, we can leave. but we're coming back, i think you'll like root of all evil."

jimin's shoulders raise again and his hands go to taehyung's shirt, pulling him closer because they're entering one of the areas with wandering scarers and they have chainsaws and chains, and jimin knows they're fake but is it horrifying. "why's that?"

"because they have shovels that they scrape and slam against the ground to create loud noises and sparks," taehyung starts explaining, chuckling quietly with another large smile as jimin tries to hold a strong front and not show he's scared as he presses closer to taehyung's side, "and there's a lot of smoke. it's based on like plant creatures, but each little house has a different setting in the evolution of the creatures. it's pretty cool. there's guys with chainsaws, guys hidden behind barrels to scrape bottles against the ground, oh, and there's this vine, net-mesh area that's kind of a hallway and it's really closed in with two scarers? yeah, two scarers and they kinda jump out at you, but because of the vines they can't get to you, but they get pretty close."

"taehyung," jimin whispers as he shys away from the gaze of one of the chainsaw-wielding demons, "that maze sounds like i'll piss my pants and have to be carried out because i had a heart attack."

"i know," taehyung responds with a smile too innocent for someone who basically just admitted to wanting to force his boyfriend into a maze so he can have a heart attack, "but i think you'll like it. like it's set up is really interesting and it's general concept is pretty cool. if you look passed all the scary stuff, i think you'll enjoy it."

jimin holds his breath as one of them gets way too close for comfort, one of his legs raising to hook around taehyung's. "ye-yeah, that.. that sounds n-nice."

taehyung manages to walk with jimin only using one leg to balance for himself, rubbing jimin's chest slightly. jimin pants quietly. "i regret wearing a sleeveless shirt with low cuts, oh, i regret it and these tight stupid leather pants aren't helping."

"you're the one that came like dressed to impress," taehyung shrugs and giggles, "but why?"

"i don't feel safe." jimin whispers and taehyung can't help but laugh loudly because jimin sounds like they're in a horror movie, not an amusement park doing something for Halloween. jimin sees the train tracks slightly hidden by the gardens and he lets himself relax, standing on his own two feet and smoothing out his white shirt. jimin sighs, but then there's the sound of someone revving a chainsaw right behind him and all red flags fly up sending jimin forward, almost plowing down everyone in front of him to cross the tracks. jimin doesn't stop there, he keeps going all the way down the small hill to Wolf Haven. jimin collapses onto the rocky ground, sweat dripping down his forehead and entire body trembling.

jimin knows taehyung's close because he can hear his stupid (but adorable) laughter getting louder and louder until it's right beside him. jimin slowly looks up at taehyung's beaming expression before slumping against taehyung's bare calves. taehyung's smile only widens, squatting down to pat jimin's head. "there, there, babe."

"i can't do it anymore, i've had enough, i want to leave, i'm done," jimin sounds like he's thoroughly terrified, his voice shaking with every sound he makes as if he's about to cry and now taehyung feels kind of bad for forcing jimin through all of this. taehyung frowns slightly before straightening and turning around. "c'mon, i'll carry you back to the car. i'll drive."

jimin looks up and stares at taehyung for a few seconds before scrambling onto his back, heels digging into the fronts of taehyung's thighs and arms hooked around taehyung's neck. taehyung bounces jimin on his back a few times to readjust him into a more comfortable position and shivers a bit at jimin's hair styled into spikes grazing his jaw before heading off towards the exit. taehyung slowly feels worse and worse because jimin's whimpering into his ear and trying to meld with him whenever they enter a "terrortory". it was all fun and games when jimin was screaming at the stuff in the mazes because that's pretty much the normal reaction for most when stuff that fuels childrens' nightmares is ed into your face, but when jimin is pressed against him so hard he can feel his shivers and whimpering like a scared child as if about to cry, taehyung begins to think that maybe he's a really bad boyfriend.

taehyung feels like literal by the time they reach the car and he carefully sets jimin down. "you should lay down," taehyung says quietly as he opens the back door and steps aside for jimin to get in. jimin looks up at taehyung before nodding and crawling into the car. after shutting the door, taehyung hurries around the vehicle to reach the driver side, slipping in and slamming the door shut. the entire ride home is dead silent (save for the sound of rubber on asphalt and the noise the car makes when they go over a bumpy road or a speed bump) and taehyung couldn't stop glancing at jimin through the mirror to see if he was okay.

taehyung leans against the door frame of the restroom, arms crossed in front of his chest and he watches jimin brush his teeth. "you know," taehyung starts quickly and jimin's eyes move up from the blank sink bowl to the mirror, "i'm really sorry about before. bribing you to go to the park then forcing you into the maze like that. that was.. that was rude of me. sorry."

jimin hand slows until the movement is stopped completely and he holds eye contact with taehyung through the mirror. the longer jimin stays quiet, the more taehyung feels like he probably shouldn't have brought it up and jimin probably hates him now. jimin breaks the eye contact to stare at the faucet when he turns it on and takes the toothbrush out of his mouth, spitting out the foam and rinsing off his toothbrush before rinsing his mouth out briefly. jimin grabs the small towel and turns as he straightens, free hand curled around the edge of the counter and the other wiping his mouth, holding eye contact with taehyung again. jimin drops the towel back onto the counter before using his now free hand to wave taehyung over.

taehyung hesitates a bit before shuffling over to the older, opening his mouth to apologize again, but his words never make it out because jimin curled his hand around taehyung's neck and locked their lips. taehyung's eyes widen, but he quickly gets over it and melts into the kiss, his large hands going to jimin's hips. jimin's lips part to wrap around taehyung's bottom lip at the same time taehyung's part to wrap around jimin's, so their lips are still simply pressed together until jimin repeats the action and successfully traps taehyung's lip between his. taehyung steps closer to jimin until their lower bodies are flush against each other, hands jimin's hips gently. taehyung releases a noise akin to a moan when jimin's hand on his neck caresses his skin before going up into his hair and under his snapback. the hat lifts from the movement before falling onto the ground as jimin's hand goes higher and higher on taehyung's head, fingers threading through taehyung's loose strands.

"i forgive you," jimin mumbles against taehyung's lips, hand moving from taehyung's hair to taehyung's chest and pushing him away slightly. "but you're still a ."

taehyung grins widely, burying his face into the crook of jimin's neck and one of his hands moving to pat jimin's thigh. "yeah, but i'm your ."