The familiar chalky, gross taste hit his tongue as he threw three pills into his mouth and tilted his head back so the pills could fall down and hit the back of his throat, swallowing. He kept his head tilted back, closing his eyes and breathing deeply. His eyes snapped open after a few seconds in a glare. "It's not enough."

Three more into his system.

He growled.

"It's not enough."

It's never enough.

He turned the bottle upside down, his eyes narrowing when nothing came out. He chucked the empty bottle across the room, watching the white plastic hit the wall with a cringe-worthy sound, bouncing off and spinning under his bed. He sighed deeply. He got off his bed to start looking for another bottle, messily throwing things around the room. He finally found one hidden deep inside a chest buried under clothes, cords of chargers for various differnet electronics, and toys.

"They thought they could hide it from me?" He whispered with a smirk, staring at the white bottle as if it were a precious gem. He hurriedly ripped off the plastic clover, slamming the palm of his hand onto the lid and twisting, letting the lid fall to the floor. He immediately chucked three—or was it six?—more pills into his mouth and shivered as they went down his throat. He started feeling dizzy, sitting down on his bed. A chuckle bubbled up from deep within his chest as he shut his eyes, falling back against the bed.

The pill bottle rolled out of his hand, some of the blue things that looked like a cross between an oval and a rectangle falling out and onto the sheets.

He didn't hear the door creak open, he didn't hear the gasp, he didn't hear the hurried foot steps, he didn't feel the bed dip into someone's weight, he didn't feel the arms that grabbed his small body quickly and lifted him into a bridal position. However, he did feel the cold water that hit his body feeling like thousands of needles, and he did the feel the two fingers that shoved themselves down his throat to get his gag reflex to go off. With a choked cough, he leaned forward and emptied out the very little in his stomach, those same blue pills coming out as well.

", Jimin, why do you keep doing this to yourself?"

He didn't hear the question, it just sounded like a slurred sentence spoken in another language. A hand gripped his chin and turned his head so they would be staring into each other's eyes. "Why do you keep doing this to yourself?"

Jimin's eyes were half-lidded and foggy. "Taehyung.."

Taehyung's gaze softed at Jimin's tone, wrapping his arms around Jimin tightly and burying his face into Jimin's neck. "Stop. Stop doing this. Please." Taehyung's voice shook and cracked.

Taehyung knew asking Jimin wouldn't work.

Taehyung knew the nod against his shoulder was a lie.

It was always a lie, Jimin never stopped.

And it made Taehyung want to cry.

He never understood Jimin's addiction to pain killers and sleeping pills. He never understood what was so wonderful about the taste or the effects. The taste was gross, and the effect never lasted for long. He never understood why Jimin would go crazy if the members kept bottles from him. Seeing Jimin like this hurt Taehyung's heart. Seeing Jimin always throwing pills down his throat way more than he should through the day, every day, hurt Taehyung. Taehyung has had days where he cried over Jimin's situation, and seeing how desperate the older would be to get the pills or seeing the older start shaking made it worse.

Taehyung tightened his grip on Jimin, sniffing as tears started streaming down his pale face. "Please, Jimin, promise me you'll stop this madness."

Jimin simply nodded again.

Taehyung whimpered.

Liar.

Taehyung slowly released Jimin and turned off the shower. He helped Jimin out of the tub with shaky hands. He striped Jimin of his wet clothes, leaving to grab Jimin another pair of clean and dry clothes. He would freeze and whimper quietly whilst dressing Jimin, the boy too out of it to do it himself.

Taehyung quickly switched his own wet clothes for dry ones and looked at Jimin. He slowly walked over to the older male, slipping his arms around Jimin's torso again and placing his head on Jimin's shoulder.

Jimin stared at the wall, slowly wrapping his arms around Taehyung's waist. Taehyung squeezed his eyes shut.

They weren't the same.

If it was back then, Jimin would've immediately hugged Taehyung back and kissed his neck, mumbling an 'I love you' against his skin.

Back then, Jimin clung to Taehyung like a kaola and never let him go. He forced Jungkook to switch rooms with him just so he could see Taehyung even more than he already did through the day. He kissed Taehyung whenever he had the chance. He watched TV with Taehyung, he played games with Taehyung, he showered with Taehyung, he was there for Taehyung when he younger was upset.

Now?

Jimin was never there.

Taehyung and Jimin still shared a room, but they slept on different beds. Taehyung was lucky if he could even get a kiss from Jimin before they went to bed. The only time Taehyung was able to sleep with Jimin was when the older took too many pills at once and passed out from overdose because Taehyung was scared Jimin would do it again when he was sleeping.

Taehyung would have to go to Seokjin or Namjoon if he was upset, but they weren't able to make him happy like Jimin could.

Taehyung never knew an addiction to pills that help you sleep and soothe your pains would ruin their relationship like this, but here they were.

Yet Taehyung didn't want to leave Jimin; it's a common thing that came up in conversations between him and the other members—Taehyung breaking up with Jimin—and Taehyung always shook his head and said no. Taehyung loves Jimin as much as he did back then when things were good, so leaving the older was not an option and it never would be. No matter how much it hurt to have Jimin not return a kiss, or a hug, or take a while in doing so. No matter how much it hurt to have Jimin stare at him with blank eyes, or say 'I love you too' with a robotic voice as if he was supposed to say it, programmed to say it, and not because he wanted to. No matter how much it hurt to have Jimin agree to stopping even though he never did.

But, you what makes it worse?

How Jimin acts like nothing is going on when there's a camera rolling. How Jimin acts like nothing is going on in front of lable mates, cast members, workers of Big Hit, fans. Only the band knows Jimin's secret.

Taehyung shakily lead Jimin back to the bedroom, ignoring the sympathetic look he got from Yoongi who happened to be walking to the bathroom. Yoongi patted Taehyung's shoulder as they walked past each other, Taehyung's gaze falling to the floor.

Taehyung gently shut the door to their bedroom and lead Jimin to his bed. Taehyung walked over to Jimin's bed, reaching down to grab the pill bottle, gasping and jerking back when Jimin appeared beside him to grab it instead and hastily shoved all the pills back in. "Don't touch them." Jimin hissed quietly as he grabbed the lid off the floor and put it back onto the bottle.

Taehyung's eyes were wide, his eyebrows furrowing together and biting his bottom lip, looking down. "O-Okay.."

Jimin shoved the pill bottle into his desk drawer and went back over to Taehyung's bed and laid down. Taehyung stayed in his spot looking at the floor before slowly walking over to his bed and laying down beside Jimin. He pulled the covers over them and hesitantly wrapped his arms around Jimin, pulling the shorter male as close as humanly possible and burying his face into his neck.

Jimin simply laid there, staring at the ceiling.

"What have we become?"

Taehyung tensed as he whispered his question, immediately regretting it.

"I don't know."

Taehyung whimpered at this response, trying to hold back his tears.

"Are you going to stop? So we can get better?"

Taehyung cringed at how weak he sounded.

"Sure. For you."

Taehyung slowly opened his eyes to look at the side of Jimin's face, the older taking a few seconds to look back at him with those same blank eyes. Taehyung stared at those eyes that used to hold so much love for him, leaning forward and pressing his lips against Jimin's, his eyes squeezing shut as a single tear trickled down his cheek. Jimin didn't respond, like always.

Liar.

——————————————————————————————:A/N:——————————————————————————————

Ruining the fluffy mood with an angsty (?) VMin. ; v ; This idea actually came to me when I was taking sleeping pills a few weeks ago. xD I'm kinda in Jimin's situation??? I just can't sleep without sleeping pills. ; n ; I hate it tbh but y'know

Mm, sorry for mistakes, and hope you enjoyed~ ♡♡♡

(btw I got two more subbies! I love you precious fluffy berries! ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡)