WARNING: This chapter goes over sensitive topics, such as self-loathing. And there is a light hint at self-harm, it's very faint, but it's noticeable. I tried to make it not as in-your-face so it'll be more of a soft detail, though.

NOTE: Please keep in mind that the beginning of this oneshot, the self-loathing, is what I imagine Jimin feels about himself since his self-esteem is quite low, but I pray to God it's not this bad. I just put in my thoughts about myself to deepen the meaning. The ending though, are my thoughts on Jimin. : )

Also this oneshot is more of a poem-like setup, instead of regular writing, for the feel of the oneshot.

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His eyes narrowed.

He hated the figure he saw in the mirror.

He hated the person staring back at him.

He hated himself.

He hated how he looked.

His abs could be more defined.

He needs to work out more, or else it won't be perfect.

His eyes aren't symmetrical.

Maybe he should get that fixed so he can look perfect.

His smile is ugly.

His eye smile is ugly.

No matter how much he diets, his cheeks are still fat, and he hates it.

It's ugly.

Why can't he look perfect?

No matter how late he stays up dancing and working out, no matter how many meals he skips, no matter how many nights he stays up bent over an oval-shaped bowl dry heaving because there was nothing to throw up, no matter how hard he pushed himself he couldn't be perfect.

Why was he just so ugly?

He tugged his hair violently and turned to punch the wall then squatted down, fingers threaded through his dark strands and yanking.

He shivered and breathed hard as hot, angry tears rivered down his cheeks.

Why was he the favorite of so many fans?

He was ugly, his dancing was awful, his voice was horrible.

He would never understand.

If he were in their shoes, he'd wish he wasn't in the band.

He's bringing the others down.

He needs to work harder, so they can be proud.

He looked down at his thick thighs.

Why didn't he have thin, pretty legs like Yoongi?

Why did he have to have thick, full legs?

It's ugly.

His eyes traced the wide, long white lines on his inner thighs.

Maybe he should do it again.

Just to make him look more ugly.

His bottom lip lodged between his teeth, his hiccup hitching in his throat and making him breathe deeply through his runny nose.

Because that's what he is.

Ugly.

Maybe—

"Jimin?"

He tensed and gasped at the soft voice.

No, he can't see him like this.

"Wa-Wait, Taehyung, don't—"

Too late.

Jimin cursed as the annoying springs in the doorknob squeaked when the other turned it to open the door, blonde head poking out and dark eyes searching hesitantly.

"We.. We heard a loud noise, are you alri—"

Jimin curled up on himself on the bathroom floor when Taehyung's eyes widened and froze at the pitiful sight.

Taehyung stared at Jimin without blinking making the brunette curl up tighter and wish the floor would swallow him whole.

But when Jimin released a choked sob that bounced off the walls, Taehyung scurried into the room and kicked the door shut, falling to his knees beside the slightly elder.

Taehyung moved to hug Jimin, but the older pushed Taehyung away from him. "No, go away! Don't look at me! I'm pitiful!"

Taehyung's heart hurt at the glare Jimin gave him, not because it was a gesture of anger, but because he saw depression and deep pain in Jimin's eyes instead of anger, his orbs glossy from the tears rivering down his cheeks at a quick pace.

Every sniff Jimin took and every hiccup that escaped Jimin was like a knife to Taehyung's heart.

"Jimin.."

Taehyung got on his knees and crawled closer to Jimin, but he moved back when Jimin whimpered and jerked away from him.

"Ji.."

Taehyung swallowed the lump in his throat as his vision blurred.

"Jimin, what's wrong?"

Jimin looked up at Taehyung.

"What's wrong? What's wrong? What's wrong?!"

Taehyung blinked away tears, looking up at Jimin as the older stood up in rage.

"Look at me, Taehyung, look at me! I'm ugly! What do you mean 'what's wrong'?!"

Taehyung let out a quiet, faint cry as a tear slipped from his eye.

"You.. you think you're ugly?"

Jimin scoffed, gesturing to his bare, raw body.

"I don't think I'm ugly, I know I'm ugly!"

Taehyung stood up shakily, reaching out to grab Jimin, but the older jerked back and stepped into the shower to make space between them.

"Don't ing touch me!"

"Jimin, you're not ugly."

Taehyung shook from holding back his tears that so desperatly wanted to fall, voice cracking in the middle of every word.

"Yes I am, Taehyung!"

Jimin spat and Taehyung looked down, gasping when he spotted the scars on Jimin's inner thighs, and he didn't have the strength to hold back his tears anymore.

"Ji.. Jimin, did you do this to yourself?"

"Of course, who else? Scars are ugly, so I deserve some just to make me look worse."

Taehyung's eyes snapped up to Jimin's.

"Jimin.."

Taehyung stepped closer to Jimin until he was cornering Jimin against the wet, tiled wall of the shower with his hands on Jimin's shoulder.

"Please tell me you're just joking, and those scars are make up."

Jimin stared silently into Taehyung's eyes and Taehyung felt another wave of tears hit him hard, shoulders bouncing and his hands shakily going up to hold Jimin's wet cheeks, Jimin's own tears pooling in the space where Taehyung's palms met Jimin's cheeks and spilling over, sliding down Taehyung's wrists.

"Jimin, how can you not see you're beautiful?"

Taehyung sniffed deeply, using his thumbs to Jimin's skin.

"Jimin, you are the most beautiful person I have ever met. You mean so much to me. You remember when I told you not to forget that view from our hotel? It's because that view was almost as beautiful as you and I wanted you to remember it, to remember that even though those twinkling lights of the city and the cars were beautiful, you are more so. You are more beautiful than a first snow, and piles of coloured leaves on brown grass during fall, and rain, and a starry night sky. You are more beautiful than anything classified as beautiful that anyone could come up with. The most creative person could make a beautiful masterpiece, but guess what? You'd still be more beautiful."

Jimin's eyes were wide, and another wave of tears had hit him in the middle of Taehyung's speech, his body shaking so hard his teeth clinked and his knees bounced off each other.

Taehyung smiled as brightly as he could with tears going down his cheeks and runny mucus clogging his nose forcing him to breathe through his mouth.

"Jimin, I love you. The fans think you're beautiful. I'm sure your family thinks you're beautiful. The members think you're beautiful. Most importantly, I think you're beautiful. So stop being so hard on yourself, and, please,"

Taehyung dropped a hand to trace one of Jimin's scars, eyes turning pleading,

"don't ever do this again, don't damage your beautiful body."

Jimin stared at Taehyung as if the boy just grew wings.

"Taehyung.."

"Jimin, I love you."

Taehyung repeated, pressing his forehead against Jimin's and using the backs of his hands to wipe Jimin's tears.

"So much."

Jimin hiccuped and he leaned against Taehyung as everything the blonde had said settled, his hands gripping the cloth of Taehyung's shirt on his biceps as he pressed his face against Taehyung's chest.

Taehyung wrapped his arms around Jimin tightly, slowly sitting down on the wet floor, ignoring the fact he just sat in a puddle of water and now his clothes are wet.

Taehyung had one arm around Jimin's back, his other hand pressed against the back of Jimin's head as he rocked them back forth, his legs spread open and bent at the knees with Jimin curled between them, shuddering as he cried loudly into Taehyung's chest, pausing to hiccup a few times before continuing to cry.

Taehyung held Jimin close, eyes squeezed shut as he cried along with Jimin, but quieter because he wanted Jimin to know this was his moment to let out his emotions that he kept bottled up.

Sometimes Jimin tried to call Taehyung's name, but his violent cries interrupted him and Taehyung simply shushed him and assured him I'm here, Jimin, I'm here.

Taehyung's ears perked up when he heard the soft cries of the other members outside the door and that only made him shake harder.

Taehyung turned his head and pressed his lips against Jimin's head, and he stayed like that as he continued rocking them back and forth.

It was like this for another hour or two—at some point Seokjin lead the upset members away so Taehyung and Jimin could be alone—before Jimin quieted down and Taehyung took complete control over his emotions, and they sat in each other's arms.

"I'm sorry for getting your clothes wet..."

Taehyung shook his head, placing his chin on top of Jimin's head.

"Don't worry about it."

Silence.

"Do.. Do you feel... better now?"

Jimin tensed before nodding, pulling away and looking up at Taehyung and the blonde almost started crying again at how red Jimin's eyes and face were, and the visible dried tears on his cheeks.

"Taehyung?"

"Mm?"

"Did you... did you mean.. did you mean everything you said?"

Taehyung smiled and nodded.

"Of course. I meant every word."

Jimin swallowed.

"Even the part about.. loving... me?"

Taehyung nodded, raising a hand to gently cup one of Jimin's cheeks.

"Jimin, if you'll let me, I want to tell you how beauitful you are every chance I get from now on, added with a hug or a kiss, or both."

Jimin stared at Taehyung before nodding hesitantly and he breathed lightly, his heart rate going up to the point he thought it would burst out of his chest when Taehyung leaned his face closer until their lips met.

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omg i legit got emotional writing this and i almost cried and thE FACT I PUT 'NO' BY TEEN TOP ON REPEAT WHILST WRITING IT MADE IT WORSE WHY DID I PLAY A SAD SONG GODDAMMIT I'M STUPID—

okay so i'm sorry suddenly uploading something so angsty and sad like this, but the fact that jimin is so upset with his looks and voice saddens me so much i want to smash my face against a wall then curl up in my closet and never come out whilst shriveling up like a wet piece of paper exposed to air and screaming like a dying cat

so i rly wanted to make a vmin where jimin is hating himself and tae's like "buT BAE UR PERFECT??" and i started getting more and more sad and it got to the point i almost cried whilst looking at the gif of jimin smiling his beautiful smile (i still wanna cry ugh like before i wanted to cry because his smile is gorgeous now i wanna cry because his smile is gorgous and he doesn't see it) and bits and pieces of this appeared in my head and it took me three or so days to write it and i used none of my original ideas i zoned out whilst writing this tbh and yeah

and yes, as the note says, this is slightly what i imagine jimin thinks when looking in the mirror, and mainly what i think when looking in the mirror

i have 0% self-esteem lol

and what tae said about jimin, like how beautiful he thinks jimin is, are my thoughts on all of them jimin c: and hopefully taehyung's own thoughts lol have you seen how he stares at jimin haVE YOU SEEN—

yes i think fall leaves on dead, brown grass is beautiful okay don't judge me

and i'm like 50% sure that view in that picture vmin took together was the view from the building they filmed the mv for the danger mo-blue-mix ft. thanh

also i'm not satisfied with the ending at all

and were the little bangtan appearences necessary? or should i make another version with those lines gone, and maybe a different ending?

also the title is omg

EDIT: so i found out it wasn't the building for the collab with thanh, but the hotel they were staying at

i'msostupidlegit

Sorry for mistakes and hope you enjoyed! ~( e//v//e )~ <3