~~~~~~'s POV

Days passed and I was able to go to school. The first few days after the kidnap I rested at home for my wounds to heal. I woke up and headed to Daehyun's room. I wanted to wake him up but he was already up. I went to get myself prepared and headed down to make breakfast for the both of us. When he was done washing up, he headed down. Our eyes met but we did not greet each other. Things suddenly became awkward between us. No more morning kisses or hugs. The whole house was so quiet you could even hear echoes if I were to drop a pin on the floor. 

It wasn't like I didn't try. I did. I tried talking to him but not once did he reply with words. I used to greet him but he would just nod in response. I don't blame him for being cold towards me. It was probably his way of dealing with this whole thing. I would be lying if I said I wasn't hurt. How I wish he would yell at me at least. I would feel less guilty. I could not do much too. I feel like I can't face him. He must be so disappointed with me. I could no longer bring myself to give him a kiss for I feel like I was presenting him with dirty lips. After days of trying, I... I just allowed things to go as it is. 

We sat on the dining table and ate our breakfast in silence. I was used to this silence since it was the only sound I've been hearing for the past few days at home. Silence used to be peaceful to me, it used to be the quietest sound but not anymore. The silence was louder than any fights we had. After we were done eating, Daehyun would wash the dishes. We went to school together. Maybe it would be better if we fought. At least I know we were fighting. This cold war between us.... Sigh...

The boys didn't mention anything. Daehyun would stick to his hyungs while the younger ones entertained me. We still sit beside each other for lunch but that was it, we did not exchange words. The both of us were probably not willing to face the situation.

After school, Daehyun would drive the both of us back home. Today, I tried asking him if he wanted to eat. He did not say anything but walked right into his room and closed the door. It wasn't his first time. I should have gotten used to it but why does it still hurts? I would remind myself that he was probably still in a bad mood. somehow, I couldn't stop my tear from escaping.

Even without his replies, I would still prepare something for him. After all, he loves food. I do notice that whenever he wasn't in a good mood, he wouldn't eat as much. I cooked a simple meal of fried rice, ate my share and placed the rest in the fridge. I left a note on the table. I went back to my room and do my own things. Each day pass just like that. When it comes to dinner time, I got out of my room and prepared dinner. I realised that it has been a habit of mine to cook rather frequently since Daehyun always complains to me that he was hungry. I miss hearing him whine for his food.

While preparing, Daehyun came out from his room all dress up again. I knew he was going out, probably to drink. He did that every night ever since after that incident. How often I wanted to stop him but I didn't. He probably needs some time to himself. Also without him around, I was able to take my daily puff or two. I didn't dare do it when he was around. 

I went to his room and took two sticks from his pack. I headed over the balcony and puffed them. Finally, some form of release for me. I've been feeling uneasy the whole day. 

As usual, about eleven at night, I would receive a text from him. Nothing much, just a short text.

I'll be back late. Don't wait. -Dae.

I waited for him once. I ended up falling asleep on the couch. I heard the door open and woke up. He came back about two in the morning, reeking of alcohol and smoke. He then made his way up, without even aknowleging me. Ever since then, he would text me not to wait for him. I ended up going to bed worrying about his safety.

Why did our relationship turn out this way? I missed him hugs and kisses. We were in this state all because of me. I betrayed him, I've disappointed him.

The next few day was just the same routine. After facing the four walls for too long, I needed out. Daehyun left earlier today. I grabbed my stuff and headed to Zelo's place. I did not inform Daehyun but I'm sure he might not even care seeing how he treated me for the past week.

"Noona!" Zelo hugged me when I appeared at his doorstep.

"Zelo ah!" I smiled. He sensed something was wrong. I do not appear at his house for no reason but I guess he knew I didn't want to talk about it, he didn't ask more. 

"Noona sit, make yourself comfortable!" I sat on his couch.

"Coke for you?" Zelo asked.

"Do you have alcohol?" I asked. Zelo's eyes widen. I wasn't the type who drink but since Zelo was with me, what could go wrong. He frowned upon hearing me.

"Please? I won't drink much, just a bottle will do." I said.

"But noona... you don't.." Zelo said.

"Come on, please?" I pleaded with a little aegyo.

"Okay okay... but only just one! Then you'll have to go home okay? Hyung will get worried." Zelo said.

"Okay, just one. Don't worry, he won't." I said bitterly.

He went to take the drinks while I looked around his living room. My eyes caught my best friend. I wanted to take the pack but Zelo had already returned with the bottle of alcohol. 

"Zelo ah.... Do you have fruits? Can you cut something for me? Sudden craving." I said hoping he takes a long time to cut them.

"Noona are you okay? Fruits with alcohol? Are you sure?" Zelo asked.

"Why not? It might be tasty for all you know." I said.

"Okay, give me awhile." Zelo told me.

When he was in the kitchen, I quickly took the pack and took a stick out from it. I lighted it up and started puffing  and flicking the ash into the ashtray. Lucky Zelo is a gangster, if not he wouldn't have any sticks for me.

"Noona! What are you doing?!" Zelo shouted as he ran to me with a plate of cut fruits.

"Why are you so surprised? You and the whole of B.A.P does this too." I said simply.

"But you hated the smell!" Zelo retorted.

"I finally understand why you guys are into this. It really does have a calming effect." I smiled as I puffed.

"Noona...." Zelo was speechless.

"What's with that expression? I won't die!" I laughed.

"Noona, are you sure you're fine?"Zelo questioned.

"Yeah. Now come, drink with me!" I said. Zelo ended drinking and playing finger games with me till I received Daehyun's daily text telling me not to stay up for him. I bidded Zelo goodbye and headed home before Daehyun.

Not a very long chapter today... just wanted to update.... Sorry if its crappy... Not feeling very good today.... I'm sad.... :(

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