Daehyun's POV

I never left home to drink anymore. Her words stayed in my mind. It was becuase of me she was hooked onto smoking. I was never around. I stayed home and drink instead. I know my limits. I did not drink till I was dead drunk. I stayed home to also keep an eye on her so that she won't touch another stick. 

There were times when I hear her throwing tantrums in the room. SHe was probably suffering not being able to smoke. 

There was once she wanted to leave to get cigarettes.

Flashback

"Where are you going?" I asked her as she headed for the main door.

"None of your business." She said coldly. So is this how she felt when I was cold towards her? It hurts a lot.

"You're going to get cigarettes right?" I asked.

"Leave me alone." She tried removing my grip when I held on to her wrist.

"No. I said I will never let you touch another stick again." I replied.

"Just ignore me like what you have always been doing! I really cannot take it! I feel so horrible! Just leave me be!" She shouted.

"No. No means no. If you are going to smoke, every one stick you puff, I'll puff ten. Don't try me." I said dangerously. I do not know if I still mean anything to her but I got to try. No way am I allowing her to smoke again after refraining her for these few days.

"ughhh!! I hate you!" She roughly brush my hand away and ran back to her room and slammed the door. Why does her words keep hurting me? At least she didn't go out to buy. She doesn't mean it when she said she hates me right? If not she would not have even spared a thought for me and would have just left to get the sticks.

End

It really hurts me to see her behaving like this but I do not know what else I could do to help her.

Today, we stayed home. The both of us did our own things. She stayed in her room while I stayed in mine. These few days I have been taking care of her from a distance. Even though she ignored me, I made sure she was well. I felt guilty of everything. The slap, her addiction. Her door was always closed. I did not close my door though. It became a habbit to keep a lookout for her, from afar. As much as I hate to, I made sure I did not allow her to leave home without me.

I don't know what she is thinking now. When I showed her I would be following her if she went out, she gave up going out totally. I feel like the hatred she had for me was on a whole new level. She even screamed at me to give her space. I pretended I did not hear any. I'm sorry. As much as I want to give her her own space, I cannot afford to see her hurting herself and not do anything about it. I have already made enough mistakes and done enough things for her to give me this treatment.

"Stop it! Stop suffocating me!!" She shouted as she pushed me away. She did not use much strength. She seemed too weak to do it.

"I'm not repeating myself and you know why!" I said coldly, not really intentional. I feel depressed when she treats me like this but all my actions to protect her from touching another stick was for her own good. I hope she sees it.

"Leave me alone please! I beg you! I feel like a prisoner here!! We've already broken up!" She said angrily but her expressions told me otherwise. It was like she couldn't believe those words came out from .

Even though I could tell it was just to spite me, I can't help but feel like someone strangled my neck, punctured my lungs and shot a thousand bullets through my heart.

"Listen to me and listen good! You are not breaking up with me! I am not allowing that! As long as I don't approve, we're not breaking up! This is OUR relationship, not YOURS alone!" I shook her shoulders without exerting too much pressure. I don't want to inflict even more harm on her. Even though we were not in good terms as before, I still love her, very much. I am not giving up the love of my life.

"Agrhhh!! You!!..." She was about to continue but she stopped and stomped back to her room. Lucky the door was strong enough, if not, with all the banging and slamming, her room would be doorless.

I sighed. Why did I allow this relationship to be in this state?

It was dinner time. She did not leave her room. I went to her room and knocked the door. She did not answer. I opened the door to see her covering the blanket over herself. Ouch. She was obviously showing me that she is avoiding me. I closed the door and entered the kitchen. I was in no mood to cook but I couldn't just leave her to starve especially with that poor stomach of hers. I cooked noodles for the both of us. When I was done, I went up and called her.

She came down reluctantly, took the bowl and wanted to make her way back up again. I stopped her.

"Don't bring your food up. Eat it here. Stop cooping yourself in your room." I said to her. She did not say anything and sat down on the dining table. She did not look too happy. We then ate our meal. I finished the noodles earlier than her. I sat and watch her eat. She was avoiding eye contact with me as she slowly ate her noodles.

What have I and her stupid damn addiction done to her? Now that I have a good look at her, she looked so sick and she seemed to have lost weight.

"I..I'm sorry." My pride did not matter anymore. I held onto her hands when she was done with her food. I was hoping for a positive reaction from her but all I got was her other hand pushing my hands away from me.

Wordlessly, she walked away, back to her room. I could not take it anymore. I allowed my tears to flow. I did not hide them anymore.

After calming down, I went to wash the bowls and headed back up. There were sounds coming from the bathroom. The tap was flowing for a little too long. Even if she had to wash her hands and mouth after eating, she wouldn't take that long. I walked towards the bathroom I just had this gut feeling something was wrong. The door wasn't closed.

"What are you doing?!" I said, half shouting at her as I grabbed her wrists to stop her from harming herself further. She was literally scrubbing her lips with her hands! Her lips were now red.

"Let me go! I'm dirty!! I'm very dirty!! I smoke, I kissed another guy! My lips are stained! How am I still clean?! Go! Leave me! Go find another girl! A clean one! I give you my blessings! We should have broken up a long time ago! Then you wouldn't have to see me in this state! I'm no longer clean for you!" She shouted, crying. I... I'm lost for words. After what I've done to her and the way I treated her, she still spared a thought for me? She minded everything was so that she could stay clean for me? What's worst was that all these while I've been putting the blame on her just so I could vent my anger and I failed to actually realise that she was the victim here, not me. Instead of comforting her, I pushed her away. How could I ever even think that she was dirty? It wasn't even her fault yet I kept her away from me. I went out to play while she stayed home with no one to go to when she was the one that actually needed the most comfort.

I hate to admit it but its true. I unknowingly did find her dirty. I did not say sweet things to her anymore, I did not even call her her pet names. I hate myself for even thinking like that.

"Princess I'm so so sorry. I really shouldn't have acted that way. Please forgive me?" I realised how much I miss calling her that. I hugged her.

"Let go of me! I'm dirty!! I'm not pure anymore!! I let him touch me!!" She cried and screamed, struggling and slapping my chest repeatedly. Not once did I release my grip around her. I deserved the slaps too. It was a little painful but I cannot let go of her. I cannot have her thinking that I would not be there for her, that I minded her.

"Listen! You're not dirty! You're not okay! You're the purest girl I've met. Really. Stop all these please. It hurts me seeing you like this." She stopped slapping me when she was tired. I cupped her face, brushed her hair away from her tear and sweat stained face and made her sit on the tub.

"I know its not your fault and I'm really sorry for pushing everything to you. I'm sorry for letting my pride get in the way and ended up hurting you. I'm sorry." No amount of sorry could express how sorry I was. I really am. I carressed the side of her cheek that I once painfully slapped her with the back of my hands. Before my hands reached her, she shut her eyes probably afraid that I would slap her again. She opened her eyes slowly when she did not feel pain.

"You're not dirty okay? Don't ever think that you are. You're the sweetest girl ever." I said to her resting my forehead against hers. She had calmed down now.

"And please, don't ever abuse your lips like that again. My heart hurts a lot." I said, hugging her head towards my heart. I felt like I was hugging a doll, she was leaning against me, not hugging me.

"I missed you." She sobbed while she wrapped her arms around my waist. She finally said something I'm waiting to here.

"I'm sorry for all the mean things I've said to you. I..." She added still sobbing. 

"Shh... I know, you did not mean it. You're not a very good liar you know?" I replied playfully, trying to make her smile. She pouted and playfully slapped my arm instead.

She did not say anything but hugged me tighter. I guessed we both miss each other a lot. We did not have any loving actions since that day.

"This is for calling me by my full name while you were supposed to call me oppa!" I flicked her forehead when we pulled apart. I then rubbed the part I flicked.

We gazed into each other eyes, I missed her so so much.

I cupped her face again, ready to kiss her but she flinched and faced away.

"It's okay. Its just me. You're not dirty. In my eyes you're the purest princess." I coaxed her. It didn't matter anymore. What matters was her inside. Inside, I knew she's an angel. She seemed to relax more. I leaned forward and kiss her. We shared a long gentle kiss. We longed for such gestures over these few days.

"Why are we doing this in the bathroom princess?" I asked her. She just looked at me and smiled.

"Oh how much I miss your smile." I traced her lips.

"Let's get out of here." I said as I walked out.

"Daedae~" She called me. I missed her everything. Her hugs, her kisses, her smile and the way she calls me.

"Hmmm?" I turned back.

"Er... My leg cramp..." She said embarrassed, how cute~ I laughed.

I carried her bridal style and walked out. While walking, I kissed her all over her face.

"Do you... want to sleep with me?" I asked shyly. We had never shared a bed before.

"But.. I'm not ready....." She said, avoiding eye contact.

"No no! I don't mean it that way! Gosh~ Yah! What type of guy do you think I am huh?" I pecked her nose. She was blushing like crazy.

"Awww someone's embarrassed!" I .

"I'm not!" She defended.

"Okay you're not. So? What do you say? You know I won't force you." I replied.  She nodded looking super shy! So cute~ I smiled and carried her back to my room and laid her on my bed and I laid beside her.

It was funny how she was so close to the edge.

"Come here." I opened up my arms. She shyly snugged in.

"Goodnight my baby princess." I kissed her lips.

"Goodnight my prince." She sat up. I was a little confused. She then kissed me all over my face then burried her face into my chest. This girl. 

This was the first time we shared a bed. The first time she slept in my arms. I like this feeling of being so close to her. Her eyes were already closed. I know she was tired. Sleep well my Princess.

Aww! Hope this is a good 100th chapter! I hope that you guys will like the whole chapter instead of only remembering the ending. I put a lot of thought into it. Hehe~ It was a coincidence how they could make up in this chapter! Whoo!

Wow! 100 chapters!! THANK YOU ALL FOR STAYING WITH ME even though I lost quite a few subs, its okay! I have you guys! Thank you for all the comments and upvotes! I can't thank you guys enough! :) <3

Since I gave all of you what you want, I'm going on a hiatus for awhile....

Okay... I'm kidding.... but i haven't really thought of the next few chatpers.... ><