“qri unnie.” “ne.” Q-ri answer her phone lazily without opening her eyes. She fall asleep after once again the whole day crying and daydream. “eodiya unnie?” “jib wae? Nuguseyo?” “it me unnie, eunjungie. What are you doing?” q-ri sigh. “what the hell did you want from me till you call me? Just say it straight to the point. I’m tired you know.” She raise her voice slightly. “wae did you get angry, i’m just call to see if you’re ok or not. Nevermind then if you dislike it.” Eunjung hang up. Q-ri ruffle her hair and sit up straight. “aisy, what happen to you lee q-ri.” She try to call eunjung back but only voice mail greet her.

“great, now she off her phone already. Aisy, molla.” She throw her phone away and go for wash up.

Meanwhile at their room, eunjung throw her phone on the table. “whats wrong eunjungie?” “i’m calling her to check whether she’s ok or not but she ruin my mood such early in the morning. Erghh.” “wae?” “i’m just ask what did she do right now and all, but she answer me with what the hell i want calling her. Tcck.” Soyeon shook her head. “she too stredd jungie. Thats why she become like that. Don’t take it too serious ok.” “at least if she don’t want to talk to anybody, don’t pick up the call.” Eunjung say annoyingly.

After a while, the room door open. “nuguseyo unnie? Is there anybody that still didn’t arrive ..yet.” hyomin voice fade away. “who is tha.. q-ri unnie.” Jiyeon say stand up from her chair. All of them raise up their head when they hear q-ri name. Q-ri silently walk towards her desk and lean back. She turn her chair to sit facing the wall and close her eyes. “unnie.” “don’t talk to me. I’m not in the m ood and i’m so tired. So if you don’t wwant to be hurt like what happen to eunjung this morning, be quiet.” She say loud enough for them to hear it.

“and eunjungie, i’m sorry.” Her last word before she fall asleep. They look at each other. For the past 3 weeks this is the first day this week she come to school. She only come to school once every week. But never go to the office. And she will come on the day that people didn’t expect her to come. For the first week, the member find her sleeping on the couch after the done with their first class. The second week, she come after she ditch 2 of her class that day. And this week she come such an early in the morning and after scolding eunjung through the phone.

‘she is crying again last night i think.’ Eunjung signal to the other member. Soyeon raise her eyebrow. ‘her eyes swollen.’ She mouth point to her eyes. “oh i have class now. See you later unnie.” Jiyeon say gather her thing. “ok, be good baby. I love you.” “love you too unnie.” She say kiss eunjung cheek. “oh yeah, we will get our lunch togethr ok baby. I already reserved a place.” She say. “ok unnie. Annyeong.” “annyeong.”

After all of them leave, eunjung closed her laptop. She approach q-ri. “unnie.” Eunjung touch her shoulder. “everybody leave already. I know you didn’t sleep at all, come on.” Eunjung kneel beside her. “q-ri unnie, i know you very well. Come on, don’t hold your tears, just cry.” She tap q-ri shoulder. Tears roll down from her eyes. “don’t hold it. I know its hurt, just cry unnie. I face the same thing like what you face now before, i know exactly what does it feel.” She say trying to hug her. Q-ri cry on eunjung shoulder while her hand wrap around her neck. “i don’t know how should i live without him eunjung~ah.” Eunjung rub her back. “ara unnie, ara. That is how i feel when appa leave me alone in this unfair world. Whatever you do now, he won’t comeback. He also will not be happy if he see you live your life like this.”

“its hard for me to accept it. He died in front of me, every night it will appear in my dream how he smile to me even he is bleeding like hell, every night i dream about our memories together, how he smile to me, how he talk to me, everything. When i doing something, i will always see him smiling while looking at me, his face appear in front of me anywhere or anything i see. Ottokhae eunjung~ah?” she say crying hard.somebody open the door, and jiyeon appear. Eunjung signal her to keep quiet. Jiyeon pause in front of the door listen to every single thing they talking about.

 “i know its hard. Arayo. But unnie i make a mistake before, i don’t want you to do the same mistake too. I hurt so many people for more than 10 years unnie. Omma, appa, jiyeonnie, unnie, areumie, everybody hurt with what i did unnie. Please don’t be like me.” Eunjung say slowly. “molla, i feel like i want to end everything.” “don’t ever say it and don’t ever do it. Again.” They stay like that for a while till q-ri once again fall asleep. Eunjung carry her bridal style to the couch. Jiyeon approach her. “she is hurt too much.” She say q-ri hair. “like you hurt before.” Jiyeon voice out sit at the edge of the couch. “our case might be same but the person that leave us is not. And the reason they leave also different. He leave when good thing almost happen but appa leave because of other thing.”

Jiyeon nod. “go check her schedule. And why did you not in the class?” “i come to take my book but you ask me to keep quiet. Now, it already 20 minutes since the class start, so i’m going to ditch that class.” She say walk towards q-ri desk. “she has class on 11 o’clock.” “ok, you are free right? Wake her up later.” Eunjung say. “ne unnie.” “and i’m going to tell omma that you ditch your class.” “unnie.” Jiyeon whinning. “what? Who ask you to ditch class then.” Jiyeon pout. Eunjung laugh. “arasso, arasso. Mianhae.” She hug her.

-----

Eunjung play with her guitar at the balcony.

Biga odaga tto haega tteunda

Oneul nalssido cham nae mamgwa gatnabwa

Ureotda utda geotdaga ttwida

Kkumcheoreom sarajyeogago

She keep singging till somebody enter the room. Jiyeon approaching her.

Never ever pogi motaeyo

Never ever na ireoke

Jan ha han ja jeogeonaejanha ne ireumeul tto

“unnie.” Eunjung turn around. “oh baby.” She put down her guitar. “new song?” eunjung nod. “for who?” “you.” She simply answer it. “na?” eunjung nod. “i write this song for q-ri unnie. But for you to sing.” “meaning?” “it is based on q-ri unnie situation but slightly different on some part. You are the one that will sing it.” “when did you write it unnie? It is a slow tempo song right?” eunjung nod. “kind of.”

“unnie.” “hmm.” “will q-ri unnie be able to overcome everything unnie?” eunjung sigh. “molla. She might look strong but she is not that strong honestly. It is not easy to deal with the heart especially when the person died at the important day like that.” “how can we help her unnie?” eunjung smile. “i already have a little talk with her the other day. She might be ok later.” “are you sure?” “nope.” She laugh. “but i know she will try. Q-ri unnie will try.”

“what if not?” eunjung look at her. “she will be like me then. Hurting others for more than 10 years, hurting myself and also being other person in front of other people. That it.” She say shrug her shoulder. “i am just worried. She try to kill herself before i hope she will not doing it again this time.” “i hope not. Don’t worry she grown up enough to differentiate between good and bad.”

Tok..tok..tok..

“come in.” Mdm. Park enter the room with a tray. “oh omma.” “ne what are you doing baby, princess.” “ani nothing. Just talking about some random thing and q-ri unnie.” “here, omma bring some fruit for you. Q-ri still like that?” eunjung eat a strawberry. She nod. “we don’t know what else to do. She come to school once a week, didn’t go to the office, lock herself in her room, didn’t eat even throw thing to people.”jiyeon complaint. “there is a way. You girls just need to find it. She is deeply hurt right now. She need you girls.” “arasso omma.” Eunjung say smiling.

Eunjung phone ringing. “ne?” “yeobo.” “oh! Oppa?” jiyeon raise her eyebrow. She poke eunjung and signal her she will leave. Eunjung nod. “what are you doing?” “playing with my baby. What are you doing oppa?” “just now done meeting. Suddenly i miss you, thats why i call.” Eunjung smile. “how london?” “just the same like usual. Just the difference is there is no yeobo here.” “nah, that line is so cheesy.” She say. “how korea?” “great.” “q-ri neun?” “still like that. Na molla oppa, i don’t know what else to do. Her condition is worse than me.” “tae jun death give such a big impact to her. Even me as his best friend till now can’t accept that our maknae already leave us.”

“you are right oppa.” “even jong hyuk hyung too. He call me yesterday, saying that he still see tae jun somewhere near him but the fact that it is not tae jun, it hurt him. She catch a cold from what i can say on the way he talk and his voice sound.” Eunjung sigh. “what else should i do oppa?” “give her strength, lend her your shoulder if she need it, don’t leave her alone even when she push you away. Motivate her with those encouraging word and bring her out often.” “arasso oppa. Gomawo.” “ne princess, do take care ok. Oppa not there to take care of you, so you need to make sure that you take care of your self ok.”

“ne oppa.” “oppa hang up princess, i miss you so much.” “miss you too oppa.” “i love you princess, annyeong.” “love you too, annyeong.” She put her phone away. After a while, it ring again. “ne, this is eunjung.” “eun jungie, naya, soyeon unnie. Q-ri unnie, jungie. Q-ri unnie.” Eunjung sit straight. “why? What happen to her?” “just come here palli.” “eodi?” eunjung hang up, she grab her cardigan and run to jiyeon room. “JIYEON~AH, JIYEON~AH.” “unnie, wae? Why are you shouting?” “palli, follow me.” “wae? Wae?” “too much talking, save that for later. Follow me now.” She say drag jiyeon out from the house.

“unnie, slow down will you? What happen?” she ask. “q-ri unnie.”