Requester
Hyenah


Pairing
(NCT) Jeno X Jaemin


Genres
Angst and Mpreg


Plot
Jeno felt like crap, he had worked until he was exhausted all week because of the imminent comeback of the NCTs and the nausea showed no signs of leaving him alone. He had an intense day's work ahead of him to finish recording their songs, then he would have to go and take the children to Jaemin's parents' home and take care of them. Jaemin was busy recording his new drama so he was almost never home, Jeno was happy that he was having success as an actor but he had hoped that with the new pregnancy he would take a break to help him with the children. All the members of the NCTS had reduced the workload to take care of their respective families. Only Jaemin seemed not to want to understand that Jeno could no longer do everything by himself


Author
DeeDee101

 

Sometimes a little misunderstanding can cause a drift...

Sometimes not every story has a happy ending...

Jeno felt nausious again. For sixth time that morning he had morning sickness. He couldn't leave bed because of lack of sleep. What's worse he had so much on his plate right now. Looking after kids took so much from him especially when they keeps him so much late than they should. Jaemin expects him to be superman which is not something he can't do. Not when he is pregnant again. He wondered does Jaemin care about him and if he does why he can't see how much hard time he has coping with everything around him. He was not first to whine, he loves the fact his lover is recognized as an actor and is doing what he loves the most. But he expected him to help him out more, he thought he would finally take a break and help him with looking after the kids. But he didn't. Everything fell once again on him and he was struggling. He felt jealous hearing that other NCT members reduced their work to help out more, he would feel so small and exempted. 

He would often be left alone in solitude in darkness. He sometimes woukd cry himself to sleep. Jaemin and him had constant arguments and every argument is based on same thing: helping out. Jaemin thinks Jeno clings to him too much but Jeno never asked too much, but only one thing. Jaemin doesn't understands it and he would often call Jeno clingy and jealous. Jeno is far being clingy and jealous, he only wants Jaemin and him to split obligations equally. He can't remember when the last time, their children saw their father who is barely at home. They are little to understand anything including the world around them, but the more he is away from home, the more they forget him and he is scared of it. He was afriad this would affect them. 

He sighs heavily. 

He splashed water on his face before leaning his forehead against cold mirror. The coldness of mirror soothed him. He needs to stop panicing. He must get back to his sense for the sake of his children. He will be strong for them. He wasn't sure for how long he stood like that, but a cry from one of his children brought him back to reality. He walked out of bathroom abruptly and headed inside of his children's room to find his daughter was already awake and very hungry. He craddled her in his arms gently, before heading back to the kitchen to quickly made food for his children. For that day, he already agreed with Jaemin's parents to take his children for them to babysit while he is away. 

In no time he prepared food for himself and his children, than he fed them, in between he had only a nutritional soda he made sure to drink every morning after morning sickness. When he finished feeding his children, he cleaned up and got them all ready. He quickly took shower, than got himself ready and he packed their things and he was ready to start a very busy day. He hoped he and Jaemin could talk after he gets back from work. He couldn't handle living like this any longer. He can't continued shuting up just because is convinient for him. No. He will speak up about his problems, he won't care if he loses Jaemin or not, he just can't continue running away from problems anymore. 

~*~*~*~*~

Studio was his second home. It became his comfort and solitutde. Every time he has dispute with Jaemin, Jeno found himself returning back to this place that somewhat completes him. It should be otherwise. Jaemin should complete him, fullfil him. But he is not. Love is not enough in this relationship.He glanced at his wedding bend and at his couple ring he wore on index finer. Memories of happy times filled his mind, they somehow made his heart ache and wish that he could turn back time and maybe save himself from further pain. The song he was completing describe the pain he endures, the melody made him more melnacholic than he wanted but he just couldn't stop himself. Hormones from pregnancy mixed with his personal emotions were too explosive and he had hard time coping with it. s kept asking if everything is okay, but Jeno would shrug it off with a fake smile he wears. But every time they say how much they lead happy life, it makes Jeno feel so small. 

And very jealous.

What his husband does? What Jaemin ever did for him? He had been this way since they started dating. He would always promise something he couldn't complete and it made Jeno to hopelessly hope. He just had enough of empty promises. He is tired of keeping everything inside of him. He is tired of crying all the time. He is tired of being so hopeless. He is tired of being alone every night. His thoughts were interrupted by the door of studio opening. He didn't checked who he was, instead he focused on completing work before he decides to leave. He couldn't wait just to take a fresh bath and to have a dinner and a heartfelt conversation with Jaemin. Than after that he could breath again. When he finally turned around, he saw it was Jaemin. 

The other male was silent for a long moment. Jeno could see a lot of emotions swirl behind his piercing dark brown eyes. The track's song playing in background was long fogotten. Silence arose between them; full of hiden emotions, things they never said to each other. They never communicate with each other, unless if it's something important. They never sat down and to converse with each other. They always seem to prolong the conversing, instead they let other things top priority. For a longest moment, none of them spoke a word to each other, instead they gazed at each other with utter despare. 

"We need to seriously talk," Jeno spoke after long silence.

Other male glanced at him tense before he gave slight nod. "Yes, you are right, we do." Jaemin said, finally sitting down.

Jeno watched at other male before him, the one he loves more than anything, but also someone who suddenly became so far away from him. He was distancing himself from him and he doesn't seeing it. He doesn't see that his children may not remember him perfectly. Does he cares how he feels? Would he care in the future for their newborn? A lot of questions arise, but they stayed unanswered. 

"We can't continue living like this," he said, glancing at Jaemin who glanced back seemingly calmed, "I am trying to do everything: raising children, playing with them, loving them, working on album. Our members have reduced their work to be with families. What I get?" 

"Jeno, I-"

Jeno raised his hand dismissively, cutting him off. "I get nothing. I still am doing things all by myself. You are not involved in life of our children. I am afraid they won't remember you. They would only remember me who raised them because I am pretty much involved in their life. But where are you in their life, Jaemin? Do you care for me? Why did you want me to give birth to this child, only to keep adding more work for me?" 

Jaemin ran fingers through his hair frustratingly, his head was hung low, letting out a deep sigh. "I care for you, I love you, Jeno, but I thought you could manage to do both things, you said you could," said Jaemin looking at him, almost hurt, "I want this child because...I love children and you are good parent to our children," he said pursing his lips. "It's not true I am not involved in their life, I am, I am trying to help out as much as I can."

"When was the last time you took your children to park near our home? Do you remember our children first word or their birthday?" Jeno pressed more further.

Jaemin blinked in confusion, he opened his mouth than closed. "I took them last week. Their first word was mama. Thier birthday is in february and december. How could I forget their birthdays?! How can you claim s--"

"Their first word was papa. Their birthday is not february and december, but march and august," Jeno argued, gazing at him disappointingly. 

At this point Jeno had enough. He wanted to run away from here, as fast as he could. But he knows he couldn't runaway this time. He needed to get this over with. He couldn't keep this anymore to himself. Memories of happiest days cease to exist, only bad memories remains and he can't help but realize how wrong he was to accept to marry him. Than again, he wished to see him wanting to fight for them, wanting to change. He loves him and he wanted Jaemin to do all chasing. Jeno can't do chasing anymore, he is tired of it.

"I'm sorry, Jeno, I really am I--"

"If you are sorry how you say, than I'll place an ultimatum for you," Jeno said firmly, "prove to me that you are worthy of my and my children time. Prove to me that it's still worth loving you and fighting for our relationship. Prove to me that you care for us," he said. 

Jaemin looked at him, wanting to say something more but words didn't come out, he only gazed at Jeno helplessly. It hurt to see that Jaemin didn't said anything. He only stared at Jeno as if he sees him for a very first time. He was so emotionless and Jeno wondered what he deserved to be treated like this.

"I'm taking children with me, I'll be moving to my parents' house for awhile to think if this relationship has any future," said Jeno getting ready to leave. "It's best for both of us not to be around each other. I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry, Jaemin."

Without any more word to him, Jeno turned around not sparing any look to Jaemin. He was really turning back on the relationship he really fought so hard, but seeing that Jaemin has no wish to fight, everything fell deep into the water. Every hope got shattered into million of pieces. He wondered why he didn't see this anytime sooner. Why was he so blind? Why he didn't listened Taeyoung who told him that Jaemin doesn't sounded so thrilled to start a family? Why he had to shut other male off? 

Opening the door and than closing felt as if he walked into total different world, a world he could create much better and bearable for him and his children. He won't abandoned them ever in his life or neglecting them like Jaemin did. His thoughts finally stopped when he walked out of building to head home, he slightly turned around. He thought Jaemin would change his mind and would chase after him, wanting to make amends, or at least want to fix their relationship. 

That didn't happened. The street was empty, and building covered in dark. With a heavy sigh, he took secure steps towards Jaemin's parents home to take his children. 

Author's Note: I hope this wait pay out. I tried to potray the plot as much as I could but the end was sad like I said, as it was realistic. I am hoping you would like it. Hope to see you requesting soon! :D