Requester
FakyManiaSeries

Pairing
(Apink) Chorong x Naeun


Genres
Romance, Angst

Plot
With Naeun's departure, Chorong regretted when she haven't told her true feelings to Naeun. But then she collected all courage to write a letter to Naeun everyday and tell her feelings for her. Even though Naeun doesn't write back to her



Author
Sonewolexo

The Day was dark and gloomy, everything looked dull and empty. The mood in the company wasn’t any better, as everyone was either blankly staring at a wall or at the ground, no one had any courage to look each other in the eyes. Five girls were sitting, too nervous to say a word. Naeun was missing which was strange. It was because of her that they were having this sudden meaning. 

No one said it out loud but everyone knew what was happening. It was evident by Naeun missing schedules and not performing together with the rest of the girls. One would think that by knowing what is coming, one would take it easier but Chorong’s  heart still dropped when she heard the news. 

“ Naeun has decided that it will be for the best if she leaves Apink.” Said their manager. 

Now it was official. The group originally of six now consisted of five members. The burden on Chorong’s shoulders became too much to handle but she didn’t dare to cry, she should take care of her members, she is the leader after all. She also had to take responsibility for Naeun leaving.  And not just because she was a leader.

You see , Chorong had fallen for Naeun. She had never gotten the courage to reveal her true feelings to the girl, and now it was too late.

Chorong sighed as she felt the warm hands of Bomi around her shoulders, pulling her in a hug. That wasn’t enough to completely calm down her broken heart but it helped to not make her break down completely. 

If only she knew how to fix things …

A month later.

A month had already passed,but Naeun’s presence still lingered. Everytime a door creaked or a voice echoed in a practice room, Chorong’s heart skipped a beat, thinking that maybe it’s Naeun, maybe she rethinked her decision and came back. Every time she got her hopes up for them to only be crashed the next second.

And she wasn’t the only one who missed Naeun. 

The atmosphere in the group became more serious, no more smiles, no more laughter or chit chat about random things. It’s like Naeun had taken all the light and positivity with her, leaving behind only five empty shells. 

This wasn’t the first time Apink has lost a member but this time it hurt worse. 

Maybe because her heart swelled for Naeun. 

How much Chorong regretted not telling Naeun her true feelings before she left. Possibly things would be much different. Now she will never know what could have been between two girls. 

Would it be love ? Or would she be rejected?

Those thoughts didn’t let her sleep at night. But it wasn’t the worst part.

You see, there was a chance for Chorong to reveal her feelings to Naeun. But only if she was brave enough and she wasn’t brave, not one bit. 

She could write a letter. 

As simple as this sounded, it was quite hard for Chorong. She prefered telling her feelings personally, that way she could read Naeun’s expressions and understand the situation better, something that was impossible to understand by a letter.

That used to be her stance on writing a letter for the girl she loved so dearly.

Until one day Bomi came and shattered her wall of excuses.

Bomi was the only one who knew about Chorong’s feelings for Naeun and right now she was abusing Chorong’s trust.

“Cmon, Chorong, it ain’t that hard to do, just write a few lines and wait for her to write back!” She pleaded with her puppy eyes.

Chorong could just sigh.” You know that it’s not that easy.” And she turned her back initiating the end of the conversation.

But Bomi was not ready to give up.

“Are you ready to live rest of your life uncertain of what things could be if you just revealed your feelings?”

That made Chorong stop in her tracks. Was she really ready to live the rest of her life like that? The answer was a clear no.

.That’s how Chorong found herself sitting down in a chair, with a paper and a pen next to her on a table.

“What could be a good starting line?” Chorong thought to herself.

Start was always the hardest part.

She tapped the table gently with her fingers, as her mind wandered to Naeun and the good times they have spent together. 

Like that one Christmas day a few years ago.

It was a beautiful but snowy day. Christmas was coming up and everything was decorated with snow falling outside , making a beautiful scenery. But nothing could beat the beauty of Naeun as she laid down peacefully, her hair falling over her face, enhancing her features, her lips slightly spread open. How much Chorong wanted to kiss them…

Technically she could. Just one fast kiss, Naeun won’t feel a thing. 

As Choring was leaning down the time stopped. Finally, she will get a chance to taste those sweet lips of Naeun. 

One kiss, just lean a bit more and their lips would touch. Of course Chorong had imagined their first kiss differently but those were just dreams of her. Hopefully Naeun won’t mind this one kiss.

That’s it, almost there, almost…

Two chocolate brown orbs looked at Chorong.

“Hello, there! I didn’t even notice anything, I was so tired that I fell fast asleep. Did I miss anything?” She looked so cute right now that Chorong was fighting her urge to kiss the girl in front of her. But she couldn’t. She would get rejected for sure. The pain of rejection was that kind of pain that Chorong was afraid of experiencing ever. What would then heal her broken heart? 

“No, nothing interesting happened, as usual.” She flashed a genuine smile. Being around the love of her life made Chorong very happy. Even if she couldn’t reveal her feelings yet, 

“Hmm, it is so warm in here but I want to go outside play in the snow. Do you want to come with me?”

“Of course!”Chorong replied as Naeun almost bolted outside, not forgetting her coat, they couldn’t afford to get sick. 

“Here, catch this!” Naeun threw a snowball at Chorong who didn’t catch it, causing it to drop by her feet. 

She didn’t have any time to react as Naeun was already throwing another ball at her, this time it hit her shoulder. 

Chorong did not waste time anymore and grabed some snow making it into a neat ball and throwing it at Naeun. 

Time passed so fast that the girls didn’t notice when it got dark. Tired but happy they walked inside their dorm and plopped onto the bed.

“It was so fun!” Naeun exclaimed. Chorong just nodded, too exhausted to speak. They had fun indeed. And she had another happy memory to add to the list. 

Suddenly Naeun turned to Chorong. There was a twinkle in her eyes, a smile appeared in her lips. A genuine one. 

“Thank you for everything. I am happy to have you in my life.” 

Chorong smiled back as her heart swelled in happiness. This was one of the best days in her life. 

The memory brought a smile to Chorong’s face. Her fingers moved on their own as she wrote the first lines of the letter. 

“Dear Naeun,

From the first moment that I saw you I knew that you were destined to be a star. No one can compare to you. You are natural born star, you shine bright, your smile lights up the darkest corners of the room. 

You are like magic, your charms pull everyone in, including me. When I saw you dancing something happened. My heart got bigger by two sizes because it had all the love for you. 

I love you , Naeun. You make me happy by just smiling and being yourself. I am so sorry that I kept my feelings hidden for so long. 

Just want you to know that whatever your answer will be, my heart will always beat for you. I am not mad at you that you left, because you are always there, in my heart. 

I am sorry, for everything I said, I didn’t mean it. You are the best thing that happened in my life, I regret hurting you like that.But what is done is done. I can only hope you have a space in your heart to forgive me

Don’t lose yourself and shine bright!

Love,

Chorong.”

The letter was short but it expressed Chorong’s feelings perfectly. After some minutes Chorong found herself standing in front of the post office, her hands lightly trembling.

“C’ mon Chorong, you have a chance to step back before everything goes horribly wrong.” Inner voice said.

Her head spun a little, maybe she should give up, it will be for the best, her feelings won’t get hurt and she won’t hurt Naeun.

Naeun…

The sweet girl who put everyone’s happiness before her own. She deserved the world. She always said what she felt. Why Chorong couldn’t be the same?

And she could give the world to Naeun if she only allowed it.

With a quick move Naeun sent the letter and walked away fastly, feeling nervousness bubbling up in her stomach.

A week later.

A week had passed but there was no response from Naeun. Chorong’s thoughts were racing, making her nervous and anxious, countless what ifs keeping her awake at night. 

What if Naeun read the letter and didn’t like it?

What if Naeun showed this letter to other people and laughed about it?

No, no, Naeun would never do it, she was too sweet for that.

But what if…

Chorong shook her head . Better to distract herself with something else before she ends up worrying too much. 

And it has been just a week, maybe Naeun needs more time to answer.

Though regrets were seeping over Chorong as she remembered the last moment before Naeun left. They got into a fight. A serious one.

“ You spend so little time with us nowadays. Do you even think of the group or just about yourself?” Chorong said, anger pulsing through her veins. They had agreed to have lunch as a team but Naeun had missed it only to be seen with some of her friends having fun without a single care in the world.

Naeun tried to excuse herself” I am sorry, I forgot , since I have different schedules now I am doing my best to find some free time. Why can’t I spend it with my friends? What is so bad about it? I will spend time with you all next time.

Chorong snapped. “ It seems like you want there to not be next time!”

The second the words left Chorong’s mouth, she regretted them instantly but the damage was done. 

Naeun’s eyes watered and she turned her back. “Maybe if you were a better leader, things would have been better.”

Chorong couldn’t take it. “ Leave then, then you won’t have to worry about spending time with rest of us.”

Chorong blamed herself for this. How could she say something like that to someone she loved so dearly? It is not like Naeun left the second after the argument but it made Chorong feel that maybe if she wouldn’t have said it, things would have been better. Maybe Naeun would have stayed. With tears blurring her vision Chorong hugged her pillow. 

She didn’t deserve Naeun.

A month later 

Chorong had lost count on how many times she had spent waiting for the letter to come back but to no avail.

But the hope was not lost even if situation seems hopeless. You see something had changed in Chorong after she wrote the letter. She had gotten over her fear of being rejected. That was a possibility that Chorong had to deal with. 

She was not afraid of revealing her feelings to the girl. Those feelings that had been buried deep inside her were coming out. 

So that’s how Chorong found herself writing a new letter. Third time might be charm but second time was beginning to the charm. 

“Dear Naeun,

How have you been? Hopefully this new path that you have taken is going well.

I have been thinking a lot about you. Are you happy? Have you eaten well? Is something worrying you? Remember the time right before our debut? You were really worried if we would do well. You would be all silent and your beautiful smile had disappeared. So you would sing. Your voice is so beautiful, very soothing. Sometimes I still hear it when I close my eyes.

Do you sing now? Ah, I need to get hold of myself. Too many questions. 

It will be Christmas soon. Your favorite holiday. You should wear something warm. Does it snow where you are? You love snow! It is beautiful like you. 

My heart goes out looking for you.. It belongs to you and you only. Whatever happens. I will love you. 

Love,

Chorong.”

Chorong took a deep breath. Now she had to send the letter. This time sending the letter was easier. 

A small smile flashed on Chorong’s lips as she returned home. Revealing her feelings helped to get rid of old worries and frustrations inside of her. 

Now she felt much better. 

And her fingers were iching to write another letter…

…

“Dear Naeun,

Today I saw a glimpse of you on TV. You looked so gorgeous as always. Seeing you smile warmed up my heart. I would do anything to have you all smiling and happy. Forever and ever.”

…

“I saw you in a dream today and now I’m missing you even more. Your bright eyes which tell a wonderful story, your lips where a beautiful smile hides, your dark curls which enhance your beauty even more. “

…

“When I look at the moon, It reminds me of you. You have an aura that matches only you. When I look into your eyes I see a new kind of world. 

Today I went to the park where we went together in the past. Every single thing reminded me of you.

I love you , Naeun. Forever and always.

Chorong.”

Chorong took a look at the clock on the table. It was already 11 AM. Writing letters tired her out a little. She had long lost count on how many letter she had sent. There was no reply to any of them. But it didn’t matter to Chorong. She will keep writing them until she dies . 

One hour left till a brand new day. A day Chrong awaited the least. It has been almost one year since Naeun has left the group. Time passed so fast, leaving empty space behind it.

Sigh. She needs to collect her thoughts. And there is one place where she needs to be.

With quiet steps Chorong made her way out of the house, trying not to wake up rest of the girls. It was dark but Chorong knew the way. It took her half an hour to get there. 

To that special place where she and Naeun spent their time together when they needed to escape from the world. No one knew about the place. It used to be a beautiful garden, now there were no flowers but in spring and summer some flowers managed to grow anyways. 

A smile bloomed on Chorong’s lips as she entered the place, old memories rushing back. She was about to go on a memory lane when she realized something. She wasn’t alone! 

There was someone behind her!

“Who the hell are…Naeun?” Chorong was taken aback. The girl she hasn’t seen for more than a year, the girl her heart ached for was standing in front of her and giving a smile?

“Long time no see Chorong. I missed you.”

Chorong didn’t let her talk more as words slipped out themselves.

“I am sorry for everything I said that day, I did not mean to. I… just love you so much, I am sorry. You must be so hurt by what I said, that was a mistake I regret deeply.” Something changed in Naeun. The look in her eyes had softened. Chorong quickly continued. 

“ When we first met I knew that you were special, my heart fell for you and I don’t regret it. I am grateful for every moment we spent together. Those moments were the best part of my life. Once you left the group, my heart went away with you. It belongs to you, only you.” Chorong didn’t notice when the first tears started to fall but she didn’t care. 

Time passed slowly as Naeun went forewards, her hands reaching to gently trace tears away, Chorong’s heart beating twice as fast as Naeun spoke. 

“ I got your letters. Every single one of them. I am so sorry that I got mad at you earlier. I didn’t expect to see you here.”

A smile appeared on Chorong’s face. 

Here she goes, these three words that have been stuck in for years were now coming out like a beautiful song.

“ I love you.” Words came out like a whisper.

Naeun smiled back. “ I love you too.”