CHAPTER 85       THINKING TOO MUCH

 

 

A/N : Its been ages after I posted a new chapter. I was caught up with work. So... to make to you my dearest fans, I made a longer chapter...(which was two weeks in the making because of the extreme busy sched)

 

 

 

Jessica’s P.O.V.

 

 

“…*yawns*…. Babe… will you help me with this?” I asked Tiff to help me dry my hair with a towel. She stopped from tying the shoelace of her Blue sneakers and walked towards me.

 

I scooted a little so she will have a small space on my bed. She got on the bed and kneeled beside me. I handed the towel to her not forgetting to smile sweetly.

 

There is a stinging pain on my head but I tried to ignore it. I feel a little hot.. well not in a ual way but hot as in I-think-I’m-having-a-fever kind of hot.

 

Tiffany started to  dry my hair then I felt her stopped after a while. The back of her right hand touched my neck then my forehead.

 

“Babe… you’re hot..” She said in worried tone.

 

“Ofcourse I am.” I answered with a sly smile. “That’s why I keep your nights busy.” I added wittily with a croaked voice. I heard her sigh.

 

“That’s not what I meant. You’re not feeling well.” Tiff is now standing infront of me. She leaned and kissed my neck then my forehead.

 

“Get dressed and don’t come to school today.” She commanded.

 

I watch Tiffany as she walked to my drawers and picked my clothes for me to wear. You guessed it right. I’m .

 

“But I want to go to school with you. I’ll help you with your problem… you and your two crazy friends.” I said.

 

“Babe, listen to me just this once, okay. Rest up and sleep. I’ll go get some medicine.” She told me as she cupped my face and stared deeply.

 

“Okay…” I managed to answer. She pulled medicine tables out of her bag pocket then she get a bottle of mineral water from my personal ref which she bought for me.

 

“But Babe……. do you know who that person is? The one that you said last night that betrayed you? Do you know who she is?” I asked her after swallowing the medicine tablet and drinking water. I have someone on my mind but I needed to be sure.

 

Tiffany looked away then sighed. She returned her eyes on me.

 

“It’s our coach…. Lee Yo Won.” She said in hatred and disappointment.

 

Lee Yo Won……. Why am I not surprised. I guessed it right afterall.

 

“That scheming son of a gun!!! I knew it! I knew she’s up to something not good!” I stood up screaming forgetting that I’m not feeling well.

 

Tiffany eyed me suspiciously. I held my head as I felt dizzy. Tiffany came quickly to my aid and help me sit on the bed.

 

“Careful Babe….you’re not feeling well.” She leaned and gave me a short deep wet kiss. My cheeks felt hotter than it is already.

 

“What do you mean by you knew it?” She asked quizzically.

 

“I knew there’s something wrong with your coach. I could sense it. I could feel it in my bone. Call it a woman’s intuition.” I said.

 

Woman’s intuition? What did I say? O.o

 

Tiff stared at me waiting for me to continue my piece. I recollected some instances that I saw Tiff’s coach and made me suspicious.

 

“Your captain, Juhyun….. I saw her with you coach a few times. Juhyun Unnie would speak seriously and indifferent as if she’s talking to a stranger. And when she turns her back, your coach would scoff and chuckle sarcastically.”

 

Tiffany fell into a deep thought. She was looking on the floor with a scrunched face.

 

“Tiff?......”

 

“She knows….” I heard her mumble.

 

“Knows what?” I asked.

 

“Captain knew that it was coach who was behind the shooting incident last year. She found out…. So that’s why she’s acting that way.” Tiffany is talking to herself completely ignoring me.

 

“Tiff!” She snapped from her train of thoughts and looked at me.

 

“I could sense that she’s up to something… and its not good.” I told her.

 

“I know that.” She answered. “ She would try to destroy the team… to how and when? I don’t know.” She added.

 

My conspiracy theory fond brain kicked in. She wouldn’t hurt another member physically again. Maybe this time she would use a psychological attack.

 

“I think… this time she would do differently.”

 

“I’m listening…” Tiff crossed her arms over her chest.

 

“She wouldn’t hurt you physically… instead… it would be a psychological attack. She would make you choose over things. That’s what I think.” I explained as Tiffany stared at me intently.

 

“Makes sense…..” She nodded.

 

“You told me one time that you love football so much and you can’t imagine yourself not playing football, right?”

 

“Yeah….. what about that?” She asked.

 

“Well… she might use that against you. Make you choose football over another. One thing that’s so important to you that could make you give up your jersey.” I stated as a matter of fact.

 

“My family?.... Unnie?..... or..” She enumerated while looking at the door and shaking her head. She scratches her chin.

 

“Or… me……” I finished her words. She looked back at me.

 

“…… or you……” Tiff trailed off. We both fell silent. Her arms fell lazily on her sides.

 

“Rest Babe……… don’t stress yourself. I got this, okay? I’ll figure something out. Sleep and rest well.” She guided me to lay in bed. She pulled up the satin sheet and cover my now dressed body then she kissed my forehead.

 

“Tiff?........... what will you choose? Football….or me?”  I asked before Tiffany could turn the knob of the door. She sighed and turned around to look at me.

 

“You shouldn’t ask senseless questions. If you knew me too well… you don’t need to ask because you already know the answer to your question.” She was serious.

 

“Okay Babe!... I got to go. I love you.” Her serious tone changed to enthusiastic. She threw a flying kiss and show her eyesmile before going out of my room. I smiled with her sweetness and with that thought, I fell asleep.

 

 

Tiffany’s P.O.V.

 

 

“Pfffttt…. Hehehe..” Hugo tried to suppress her laugh but she failed for the nth time. She’s like that whenever her eyes fell on the crook of my neck… which I tried to hide with a scarf. I looked like a cowboy…errr.. cowgirl.

 

What’s on my neck? No.. not hickey.. but redish teeth marks. Jessi…….. you… arrrgghh! *sigh*

 

“I could sense that those guys are brewing something interesting for us. We should always be on guard and we should expect danger all of the time.” I told my friends. They both nodded as they reach for their chocolate shakes.

 

“I know….. but… do you have any idea who’s the person behind this mess?” Hugo asked me quizzically.

 

I slowly laid back on my seat and sighed as my fingers tapped on the glass table. Should I tell them what I discovered?

 

No….. that wouldn’t be a good idea. These two might a) throw a rampage because the person they trust betrayed them big time, b) won’t believe me because they trust that so much.

 

“So………. Stefan?....” Bogart

 

“No….. I don’t.” And because its natural for me to be expressionless and monotonous, I managed to sound unfaltered.

 

“We got to get going. We still have tons of work to do.” I told the two. The three of us stood up and walked out from the establishment.

 

 

Normal P.O.V.

 

Jessica found herself sitting on the study area. She knows that she shouldn’t be there because she wasn’t feeling well this morning. Well… that was this morning. She feeling well now…. She thinks.

 

‘Morning sickness?’ With a kind of mind she has, she even questioned herself if she’s pregnant. Yeah… she actually did. Huh! As if that’s possible.

 

Jessica got tired of waiting. She stood up and look for her. A classmate of Tiffany bumped into her (not literally) and she told Jessica that Tiffany is on the football team locker room. She thanked the person and hopped happily to the place where Tiffany is.

 

Jessica arrived at the locker room. She could hear Tiffany and another unfamiliar voice. She peeked through the slightly opened door.

 

“So… Hwang?... Goodbye football is it? Or goodbye Jessica?” A female voice asked. Jessica couldn’t see the other person but Tiffany is in her full view.

 

With a lopsided arrogant smirk, Tiffany answered.

 

 “What made you think that I’ll quit football?”

 

Upon hearing this, Jessica’s eyesight became blurry because of the tears flooding from her eyes. She clutched her heart which is in so much pain. So much pain that she feels like choking out of breath and dying.

 

Dying… Jessica felt like dying. She wished that Tiffany just shoot her rather than hearing those words coming straight from Tiffany… the girl that she worships and loves so much.

 

She fled away immediately and with that, she wasn’t able to hear Tiffany’s next words.

 

“I’m not going to quit football… and I’d rather die than quit Jessi. There’s no way I’ll quit Jessi. Even death won’t make me stop being with Jessi.” Tiffany said with dreamy eyes.

 

“You’re such a cheeseball.” The nameless person teased.

 

Tiffany laughed and left the locker room. While making her way to see Yuri who was in the other building, her female classmate walked up to her and asked her if she saw Jessica.

 

“Jessica?.... she’s here?” Tiffany asked.

 

“Yes… she was looking for you. I told her where you were. You didn’t see her?” She darted back at Tiffany.

 

“No….. I didn’t..” Tiffany answered in a whisper.

 

“Where could she be?” Tiffany’s classmate asked no one in particular.

 

‘I think I know……… to the school’s greenhouse… secluded place… ‘ Tiffany thought.

 

 

 

Jessica’s P.O.V.

 

 

“Jessi?.... what are you doing here? I told you to stay home and get some rest.”

 

She tried to touched me but I slapped her hand then her cheek.

 

“Don’t touch me with your filthy hands!” I said.

 

She stared at me with confused hurtful eyes. I wanted to caress her left cheek where my palm furiously landed but my anger won over me. I waited for the word why but it didn’t came, instead, she stared at me….. confused…. Hurt…. Demoralized…. Defeated..

 

“You have a lot of guts to stare at me like that like its you I hurt.” I told her spitefully with tears streaming in my eyes.

 

Silence

 

“You told me you love me…. That you love me so much…” My soft sobs turned into violent shaking, I began wailing.

 

Still, she didn’t say anything. Her hurtful and questioning eyes fixed on me.

 

“You liar….. you selfish …. I don’t want to see you ever again.”  I hissed under my breath.

 

“I heard you and Yuri talking! You made it clear that you won’t quit football… so what huh? You would quit me? Us?! You bastard!!!” I slapped her once again. This time on the other cheek.

 

“You’re better off dead.” I added with so much hate.

 

Finally, a reaction from her. She broke the stare and lowered her eyes to my feet then stared at me again with no expression.

 

You don’t care! You don’t really care! You played me!

 

“Jessi……..” She said in a hurtful tone.

 

“I can’t believe that the woman I love couldn’t trust me…………” Tiff said as tears hurriedly raced from her eyes.

 

Silence

 

“I love you…” She whispered before she turned her back on me and walked away.

 

This is it. We’re over……..

 

I watched her slowly fade away from sight. I ran towards the gate ignoring the questioning stares of the students.

 

 

 

Tiffany’s P.O.V.

 

 

“You liar….. you selfish …. I don’t want to see you ever again.” 

 

“You’re better off dead.”

 

Those words played over and over my head. I couldn’t take it. It hurts like hell. I feel like I’m dying…. I feel like killing myself to relieve all this pain.

 

“You’re better off dead.”

“You’re better off dead.”

“You’re better off dead.”

 

“I’ll grant your wish even if it’s the last thing I could do for you.”

 

I took my phone out of my pocket. I stared at my phone’s wall paper…. Me and Jessi kissing. What a sweet sight. I shook my head and chuckled bitterly.

 

I love you Jessica Jung…. So much…

 

Why can’t you trust me?.....

 

Speed dial number 1…. Jessi’s number. I dialed Jessi’s number to tell her how much I love her…. and to bid goodbye. I want to hear her voice…. Even for the last time.

 

 

The first time ever I saw your face 

I thought the sun rose in your eyes 

And the moon and stars were the gifts you gave 

To the dark and the empty skies, my love, 

To the dark and the empty skies. 

 

 

Jessi’s ringback tone echoed in my head. Memories flooded and I fought the tears to fall from my eyes. Jessi…… why?.......

 

Sorry… I can’t pick up right now. Just drop your message on my voicemail. Thanks!

 

“Nice…… and now I’ll be talking to a voicemail.” I scoffed. I cleared my throat.

 

“Jess…Jessi…… Jessica….. Jessica Jung. I’m sorry…. I hurt you. I’m sorry I made you think that way. I’m sorry I didn’t persuade you to listen to my explanation. I’m sorry for deciding to kill myself. I’m sorry… for the pain I’ll cost you in the future. I’m sorry for being too obedient to your wishes……”

 

“Are you wondering where I am? I’m inside a car……well… not mine. I rented a car… its kinda old… maybe older than me. I don’t want my y car which you admire so much to end up a scrap metal. *chuckles*.

 

“Now……. I’m here on a deserted place…. Staring at the wall where I would drive full speed head on. I don’t think I could survive the impact. *chuckles*… very obvious.”

 

“Whatever happens….. you’re my Jessica Jung Hwang. I love you.”

 

I hang up then browsed the photos of Jessi on my phone. I stared at a certain photo. Jessi wore a sweet smile, her head was tilted a little to the side. She was holding a placard which reads I LOVE YOU TIFFANY!!!

 

I kissed my phone… I kissed Jessi….

I took a photo of me for the last time….. flashing my eyesmile and perfect set of pearly white teeth. I send it to Jessi.

 

I turned off my phone and threw it on the back seat. I started the engine and smiled bitterly. I bid my goodbyes to my family. To Mom…. Dad…. and Taeyeon Unnie. I just wished she and I would became close sisters but until the end… we’re not.

 

I stepped on the gas pedal. The engine roared as the car flew towards the wall.

 

Goodbye Jessi…….. I will always love you.
 

 

 

Jessica’s P.O.V.

 

 I’m scrunched in my bed like an egg. I cried and cried until my eyes hurt. My phone rang. It was Tiffany.

 

After a while, I reached for my phone which was dropped on the floor. Luckily it wasn’t broken. I listened to the voice mail.

 

My jaw dropped and my eyes widened when I heard the contents of the voicemail. My subsided cry turned into wailing again.

 

No Tiff!!! You idiot!!!

 

“Tiffany….. Tiffany……” I cried so much and I feel drowsy. I drifted into darkness.

 

“Honey… how are you feeling?” My mom asked me as I opened my eyes. “You’re crying and you’re calling Tiffany.”

 

“Tiff….. where is Tiff?...” I asked my mom when I remembered what happened earlier. What happened? Where is she? I want to see her.

 

“She’s………..” Mom hesitated and looked away as if she’s hiding something from me.

 

“Mom?...........” Tears began to well up in my eyes.

 

“She couldn’t be here because…….. her car… I’m sorry honey…” She answered apologetically.

 

No! No! No! Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!

 

Tears finally flowed from my eyes and raced to my cheeks. Tiff……. She’s gone. She’s really gone.

 

“You’re such a baby! You couldn’t stand it when your girlfriend is not around you.” Mom chuckled and bring out her phone.

 

Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh?!  O.o

 

“Hey Tiff…… your girlfriend is being a drama queen again. She’s crying and she’s demanding to see you. Here…. Talk to her.”

 

What the hell?!  O.o

 

Mom has a wide grin on her face as she handed the phone to me. I know that I have a what-the- look plastered on my face.

 

“Tiff?.........”

 

“Hello Babe! How are you feeling? Had your fever subsided?”

 

“Where… are…. You?.....” I asked with a cracked voice. Its sooo good to hear her voice. I thought I’d never hear her again.

 

“Babe…. why is your voice like that? You still feel sick? Rest up okay?.....”

 

I ignored her. I wanted to know where she is. I want her beside me. I want to hug her, kiss her, and tell her how much I love her.

 

“Where are you?!!!” I can hear cars honking.

 

“Well….. I’m kinda stuck in the middle of the road. My car broke down. Good thing I have Hugo and Bogart with me to help me push the car.”

 

“Help you?! Bogart and I were the only ones pushing your damn car! You’re not helping!” I heard Yuri yelled from the other line.

 

“Plus, your car has a super flat tire. Ohhhh…. It made pushing it so much easier.” Hyoyeon sarcastically added.

 

“Where were you from? Where are you headed?” I asked teary eyed.

 

“ I came from the mall. I bought some stuffs for my birthday tomorrow. Hugo and Bogart volunteered to help me.”

 

“You dragged us!!! Yuri

 

“You used brute force!!!” Hyoyeon

 

I smiled with their protest. Tiffany is such a bully. Nice, sweet, expressionless, kind, cold, blunt, , clueless, loving… and most of all… bully. Bully like Taeyeon Unnie.

 

“Stop talking to Jessica and help us push your car!” Yuri.

 

“How about I make you stop breathing?” Tiff

 

“Okay Bogart! On count of three… push! One two three! Hmmpp!!” Yuri.

 

Oh man…. She calls me a sadist…. But isn’t she a sadist too?!

 

“Babe! Come home! I want to see you.” I said. I could still hear the passing cars, honking cars and the two musketeers panting on the background.

 

“Later Babe. I still have to fix the car…. And that’s after those two finished pushing the car to the side of the road.” Tiff answered. I heard the two musketeers scoffed.

 

“No! I want to see you now! NOW! Come home NOW!”

 

“But… my car---------“

 

“Leave it! Call a tow service! Go home now! Go to me NOW!” I demanded like a crazy kid. I heard her heavy sigh on the other line.

 

Silence

 

“What?! You’re gonna leave us here?” Yuri was pure of disbelief. Her voice boomed.

 

Silence

 

“Okay… no problem.” Yuri. I bet Tiff glared at the poor tall kid.

 

“I’ll call tow service and tell them that I gave you authorization on my car. Here’s for payment and some extra cash if you guys got hungry.”

 

“This… is… a..lot…of…money…. Its 5 times the amount needed for the tow service and getting your car fixed.” Yuri

 

“We’re not a shikskin like you!... But money’s good.” Bogart.

 

“I have to go now. My girlfriend is waiting for me. You know how demanding she is. She could be reaaalllyyyy… as in reallyyyyyyyyy demanding.” Tiff.

 

“I know… good luck.” Bogart.

 

These freaks! And that Tiffany! Haven’t she forgot that the phone line is still active?

 

“Jessi….. I’m coming home. I love you…. You drama queen brat. ” Then the line went dead.

 

 

 

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a/n : Slowly recovering from severe exhaustion. Good thing that my boss transfered me to another supervisor. My former suvervisor thinks that his subordinated are robots.. perfect robots. I got transfered last wednesday but my body is still recovering from weeks of almost no rest and no sleep.