Prompt: commitments and longtime relationships

Word Count: 1747

“What do you think of getting married?”

That was the question that started it all.

The morning had been perfectly fine: Kyungsoo woke up first but got dragged back to bed by Baekhyun lazily mumbling about another 15 minutes before they got up again after the second alarm. After Baekhyun finished preparing their breakfast, Kyungsoo was already in his suit and tie ready for work. It took a while before Baekhyun finished getting ready but as soon as he was done, Kyungsoo grabbed him by the collar to give him a lengthy kiss on the lips before leaving the house, both going on different directions.

That routine has been a norm for them – from the day they started getting close and from the day they started dating. And like a blink of an eye, it’s been already five years.

So Kyungsoo doesn’t really get why that question would pop up. Well, he knows it will come sooner or later, but he didn’t expect for Baekhyun to ask that right now. Kyungsoo stiffens upon hearing that question, pausing midway on loosening his tie only to continue the next minute, acting normal as if he didn’t hear anything.

“Kyungsoo.” He hears his name being called again. “Hey.”

“So there’s this new diner that opened up around the block and I was thinking that we should try to go there tomorrow for breakfast, what do you say?” However, the mirth in his eyes faded when he sees Baekhyun’s serious expression the minute he turned around to face his boyfriend.

“Did you just changed the topic again?”

Kyungsoo sighs. “Baekhyun…”

“I don’t understand.” Baekhyun frowns, looking straight at him but instead of fury Baekhyun’s eyes looked like he’d been cheated on – a painful one that Kyungsoo can’t stand to see. “How long will it take for you to be ready? Because believe me, I’ve been waiting for a ing long time.” He takes a step forward, inching close to him and all of the sudden, he couldn’t breathe.

“Baekhyun, wait…” Kyungsoo holds up a hand on his chest, stopping him. “You don’t… You don’t understand.”

“Then make me understand, goddammit.” Baekhyun said with gritted teeth. “Tell me, Kyungsoo. Just… please.” He looks desperate now, wanting – needing for any answers. “Tell me why. What’s bothering you? What’s wrong?”

Kyungsoo couldn’t answer – that’s the problem. He knows the answer and he wants Baekhyun to know the words that’s been stuck in his mind forever. But fear and doubt clouds his head that instead of stepping forward from the shadows, he coiled and remained hidden. He doesn’t know what hurts the most: seeing Baekhyun’s hurt and disappointed look or the signs of their crumbling relationship.

“You know what?” Baekhyun scoffs a laugh. “Forget about it. You must be exhausted. I’ll run a bath for you.” He gives him two pats on his chest before moving past him to get up the stairs to their bedroom.

Even after that, you’re still nice. Kyungsoo feels guilty for being such a ty partner. Baekhyun has had given him everything, everything he could ever as for and took care of him and did so many things for him, it’s a miracle why Baekhyun even ended up with him. And after all the things he had done, he couldn’t even give Baekhyun one thing he wanted the most. Kyungsoo sighs and takes off his tie with a harsh yank. He can feel a headache coming on.

Growing up, Kyungsoo had witnessed marriages around him fall apart and almost got broken. When he was fifteen, his aunt left his uncle for a younger man telling him that he’s not worth . When he was sixteen, he witnessed his father and mother getting in a heated argument after his father got into an affair with another woman overseas. Two years later, the same thing happened when his mother got into an affair with a co-worker back at her office. On his mother’s side of the family, his aunt got a divorce because her husband apparently impregnated another woman. And when Kyungsoo was twenty, he found out that his grandparents were actually meeting different people secretly without each other’s knowledge, wanting to keep the picture perfect family intact.

It made Kyungsoo realize that there is no such thing as a faithful husband or wife. That in a long run, no matter how much you love each other, there’s one point in life that you will find yourself wanting someone new that might eventually cause your marriage to end or be strained.

After all of that, Kyungsoo started hating relationships and he vowed himself to participate in short term relationships only. But then, Baekhyun came into his life and just like that, those string of short term relationships and one night stands ended and he finds himself unable to let the man go. Kyungsoo must have been enjoyi