Atl's MAMA
Forbidden Dreamers Review Gallery
»Atl's MAMAReview«
Title (1/5)
Sorry but what's atl? and MAMA? Honestly, it made no sense to me even after reading the story.
Foreward/Description (4/10)
The opening of the story held an element of mystery into what creatures EXO were and what was the "tree of life" and "seed" that they were talking about but the foreword had already given all of these away. Also, it wasn't captivating enough, as a sci-fi fiction.
Note in the description that not everyone unless they're an EXO fan would know what the music video is about. Place a link, have a picture, write it out.
Appearance (3/5)
Considering that you had a drawing for every chapter, it was disappointing for the story to not have a poster. I liked the drawings which helped in the imagination and font was fine.
Plot (8/15)
Passing score on the potential this story had as a sci-fi fiction, aliens with powers, evil witch-like kumiho, perhaps betrayal and brotherhood. All these pave a smooth path to an interesting, captivating, shocking, exciting story but to be blunt, 21chapters in and its been pretty boring and confusing so far.
- I haven't even figured out why some of them are working/have chosen to work for Kumiho
- What exactly are their aims? Somehow it seems both EXO and Kumiho are working towards the same goal and yet they clash
- How is the bond of the EXO boys like?
- Is Suho evil?
- Where did Kris come from? What made Suho the leader?
- I havent even matched their individual powers or witnessed the strength of it
So far you have only slowly revealed their powers bit by bit, storyline is progressing too slowly and there is a lack of action and emotional development for such a story.
Originality (13/15)
Will give you credit for this, it takes a rather imaginative mind to come up with the background.
Language (17/20)
Nothing too major, very readable save for one comment:
"Tree of Life" was bolded and "seed" was italicized. They both carry the same special meaning so one style should have stuck. Also after emphasizing on them within the first few chapters before readers knew what they were, you should remove the emphasis. Having read the story 20 chapters in it's not too comfortable referring to it as "the seed" - its like, yes I already know what it is no need for that.
Flow (5/10)
Like I mentioned above, some chapters came off a bit boring and honestly for what I am reviewing (till chapter 21) too little has happened. The chapters are exceptionally short too, I can understand for the 1~ series as you bring in individuals but I was disappointed to find 2~ progressing at the same pace despite the seed making an appearance.
Characterization (5/10)
As mentioned above, I can't even tell if Suho is good or evil and their individual intentions. A lot more needs to be done. Past background on their relationship pre descending to earth might help too.
Overall Enjoyment (6/10)
The foreword/description did capture my attention like "ok wow an alien fic!" but sadly the story is not progressing as fast and exciting as I would have preferred it to be.
Reviewed by: eunhyuksgal
62/100!
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