What am I to you?

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»What am I to you? Review«

Story

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I’m going to go ahead and give you my answer straight forward here lol. You see (lol) your story is running very smoothly. You have no type of grammar mistakes or spelling mistakes. Though I only read the 10 chapters (really busy with school and you have 30 or so chapters lol, I have to turn in a review sooner or later) I could already see that you know what you are doing and that you are not having any troubles at all.  You have long chapters and it can be very slow. I disliked how the lover boy just keeps changing his mind here and there that’s why I deducted some points. It got tiring to keep seeing him complain about his love, if he really wanted to he could have just faced him straight on and just talk to him man to man.

It was really hard reading him say that he felt used all the time and that he just lets it because he loves the person so much. For me based on my friends and watching others, they all have that little voice in their head that says “that’s enough, you deserve better” If you can you should think of how you feel, if you were in that person shoes, would you just continue to let that person use you then just get rid of you when they don’t need you at the moment? We both know well enough that (lol) love is a game of give, take, and forget. Seeing the character protest repeatedly what he goes through, knowing his own consequences? It was just a wave of confusion and just kaboosh in my head.

But really you have a great story going on here, though I was never a big fan of same love stories because lol I ‘m not used to those stories. Don’t get me wrong though, I support and love those peeps. So don’t bash me here. Just keep writing girl, you are doing great! So sorry if I could not comment under the labels because like I said everything is going well!

Title 5/5

I love the poster here 

Foreward/Description 10/10

Appearance 5/5

Plot 15/15

Originality 15/15

Language 20/20

Flow 9/10

Characterization 8/10

Enjoyment 9/10

96/100!

Reviewed by: Abie529

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ThanhXuan #1
Chapter 135: Thanks for the review ♡
Amalya #2
Chapter 134: Thank you for taking the time to review my story oohkatsoo. I didn't mind the wait and getting the additional perspective was a good thing in the end. ;)
I have been warned about the too many characters too quickly thing in a previous review and have yet to try and fix that, but duly noted again. haha As for the capitalization issue, I think I was going for that fairly bizarre context (in English anyway) where you capitalize some of the terms when they refer to very specific named creatures (Namjoon's father as a Titan (Perses in his back story) versus titans as a race). Likewise for chimaera though that one was never meant to be capitalized. The only one I really had an issue with in writing was actually Cyclops and that was because my spell checker kept saying the lowercase spelling was wrong. >.> lol
I will certainly consider adding more descriptions or definitions for some of the harder to grasp terms, such as what a titan actually is, in the future. I was much better about doing that in my Norse mythology story to be honest. lol I'm pretty sure the time crunch to finish it before the deadline made me sloppy here.
The game they played was meant to sort of parallel a crude cross between more modern day football (in the US) as evidenced by the in-story name, which is a fairly barbaric sport to begin with, and the gladiator events of ancient Greece and Rome, which were very barbaric events in which the competitors often died. As for the sudden appearance of the monster, I'm not sure I can actually fix that one, or if I want to at the moment. I'll think it over and see what comes of it, but either way, I do appreciate the review all the same.
It's especially nice to confirm what I am able to do well in the story just as much as it's good to be aware of what can be smoothed out more. So again, thank you for the review. I hope my comment might be able to help explain things a bit more in turn but I shall credit you and the shop immediately. ^_^
aya-ELF #3
Chapter 4: Hi!! I have a question, do you guys only do reviews for completed stories??
libianno #4
Chapter 128: Thank you for the review on Chasing Pavements. I appreciate you straight forward and honest opinions. I will use the pointers you have provided me well :)
funkybastard #5
Chapter 12: Hii, I just start writing and i really want to improve my skill and i like how blunt and forward this review shop is ^^. How do i request from the shop?
thelittleluhan #6
Chapter 113: Thank you for the review! I didn't expect what you gave me, I was honestly thinking it would be a lot worse. I'll definitely keep in mind what you said about Title and Appearance. I did feel the same about the title being less focused on the main character when you mentioned it, so that's definitely something I'll work on. I might see if I can change the title to a more fitting one (but I'm soooo bad at titles >_<). Thank you again for taking the time to review my story. You don't know how much it means to me that you at least enjoyed it ^_^
sorindae_ #7
Chapter 110: This review really hurt my feelings. But it's okay. I know of I have to improve my grammar. Thank you for helping review this story.
ZiahZiah #8
Thank you so much for the review! (honestly, I thought I'd get worse) hahaha I'll change that grammar error soon. I'm so glad you pointed that out. :) by the way, may I ask who my reviewer was? I wanted to credit them in my Foreword! Thank you! :D
-dulcet #9
Chapter 84: Oh thank you for the review. I'll credit you indeed I'll keep your tips in mind. Thank you :)
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