Ex-Boyfriend
Forbidden Dreamers Review Gallery
»Ex-Boyfriend Review«
Title (4/5)
Appropriate enough but could have gone something a long the lines of betrayal and complicated relationships.
Foreward/Description (7/10)
As explained below, more suspense should be created here. You want to attract your readers to read on. The fact that you left the reason for break-up out is good.
Appearance (2/5)
Kyungsoo doesn't look sad and it seems here Jongin is more of the main character.
Plot (11/15)
Generally, an interesting storyline with potential for suspense and emotional development. Some pointers:
Chapter 1: The opening part is a flashback, you need to make it clear that it's a flashback instead of lumping them all together.
Chapter 3: Never use "Kyungsoo broke up with Jongin" because it is the other way around. Kyungsoo did not initiate a break-up at all so this isn't mutal either.
Chapter 4: You seem to be trying to create some suspense in who is Soojung's boyfriend but you already gave it away in the foreword so it might not have been a good idea to do that.
Originality (12/15)
An average love story but you should have leveraged on the suspense portion as mentioned above.
Grammer & Spelling (10/20)
Once again this is your weak point. Perhaps reading more might help.
Flow (6/10)
Jumping around of timeframe is rather confusing and may not always be necessary. When you go into a scene try to expand more; ie kyungsoo thinking back on the break-up and all the wave of painful emotions coming in.
Characterization (6/10)
Chanyeol's was done rather well; I could tell he had feelings for Kyungsoo through his actions. But the relationship between the ex-couple and the siblings need to be more in-depth. Also Kyungsoo's pain and later shock in betrayal is key in this story.
Overall Enjoyment (7/10)
Cute read.
Reviewed by: eunhyuksgal
65/100!
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