Hydraengas

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»Hydraengas Review«

Hydraengas - main story image

Story

Title (5/5)

Symbolizes the entire story beautifully.
 
Foreward/Description (9/10)
 
I loved how your description encompassed both the animal portion and the hydraengas perfectly. Minus one cause the animal part did confuse me a bit before going into the story.
 
Appearance (4/5)
 
Should the flowers have been red instead? Or even chosing of a blue to red gradient?
 
Plot (14/15)
 
Minus one only because you didn't address the miracle of Baekyun becoming a human and the conversation they had at the start got me curious on who was speaking which line. Personally I had a lot of thoughts that went through my head on "what could have been" and gaps but I understand this is your story so I will push those aside and go into what you have done good to deserve a high score:
 
- Credits to forming the animal and human born without making it too disturbingly romantic; which is a talent. 
- Great development of their relationship, engaging readers emotionally
- I appreciated how you managed to bring in the hydraengas in chapter 2 after leaving me disappointed that Chanyeol did not get his wish fulfilled before death
 
Originality (15/15)
 
Very matured and unique theme on AFF and even more so in the EXO world so full score here.
 
Language (20/20)
 
Nothing to penalize here.
 
Flow (8/10)
 
The fact that you incorporated Baekyun's POV in between a third POV did cause slight confusion. You might even consider writing everything in Baekyun's POV?
 
Characterization (8/10)
 
First point off for not allowing your readers to understand Chanyeol more; what sickness is he suffering from? What was his intention in bringing a stray into his life if he knew he didn't have long to live; attaching himself emotionally.
 
Kris's entrance and significance was abrupt. He suddenly came into his life as a skeptic, and redeeming himself by agreeing to take care of Baekyun during Chayeol's death and then failing to do so again. I question the relationship between Kris and Chanyeol...talking about having a family...isn't that a bit romantic? Ending of the story is a big question mark too.
 
Overall Enjoyment (10/10)
 
Full marks. I enjoyed reading your beautiful story.
 
Reviewed by: eunhyuksgal
 
93/100!
 
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ThanhXuan #1
Chapter 135: Thanks for the review ♡
Amalya #2
Chapter 134: Thank you for taking the time to review my story oohkatsoo. I didn't mind the wait and getting the additional perspective was a good thing in the end. ;)
I have been warned about the too many characters too quickly thing in a previous review and have yet to try and fix that, but duly noted again. haha As for the capitalization issue, I think I was going for that fairly bizarre context (in English anyway) where you capitalize some of the terms when they refer to very specific named creatures (Namjoon's father as a Titan (Perses in his back story) versus titans as a race). Likewise for chimaera though that one was never meant to be capitalized. The only one I really had an issue with in writing was actually Cyclops and that was because my spell checker kept saying the lowercase spelling was wrong. >.> lol
I will certainly consider adding more descriptions or definitions for some of the harder to grasp terms, such as what a titan actually is, in the future. I was much better about doing that in my Norse mythology story to be honest. lol I'm pretty sure the time crunch to finish it before the deadline made me sloppy here.
The game they played was meant to sort of parallel a crude cross between more modern day football (in the US) as evidenced by the in-story name, which is a fairly barbaric sport to begin with, and the gladiator events of ancient Greece and Rome, which were very barbaric events in which the competitors often died. As for the sudden appearance of the monster, I'm not sure I can actually fix that one, or if I want to at the moment. I'll think it over and see what comes of it, but either way, I do appreciate the review all the same.
It's especially nice to confirm what I am able to do well in the story just as much as it's good to be aware of what can be smoothed out more. So again, thank you for the review. I hope my comment might be able to help explain things a bit more in turn but I shall credit you and the shop immediately. ^_^
aya-ELF #3
Chapter 4: Hi!! I have a question, do you guys only do reviews for completed stories??
libianno #4
Chapter 128: Thank you for the review on Chasing Pavements. I appreciate you straight forward and honest opinions. I will use the pointers you have provided me well :)
funkybastard #5
Chapter 12: Hii, I just start writing and i really want to improve my skill and i like how blunt and forward this review shop is ^^. How do i request from the shop?
thelittleluhan #6
Chapter 113: Thank you for the review! I didn't expect what you gave me, I was honestly thinking it would be a lot worse. I'll definitely keep in mind what you said about Title and Appearance. I did feel the same about the title being less focused on the main character when you mentioned it, so that's definitely something I'll work on. I might see if I can change the title to a more fitting one (but I'm soooo bad at titles >_<). Thank you again for taking the time to review my story. You don't know how much it means to me that you at least enjoyed it ^_^
sorindae_ #7
Chapter 110: This review really hurt my feelings. But it's okay. I know of I have to improve my grammar. Thank you for helping review this story.
ZiahZiah #8
Thank you so much for the review! (honestly, I thought I'd get worse) hahaha I'll change that grammar error soon. I'm so glad you pointed that out. :) by the way, may I ask who my reviewer was? I wanted to credit them in my Foreword! Thank you! :D
-dulcet #9
Chapter 84: Oh thank you for the review. I'll credit you indeed I'll keep your tips in mind. Thank you :)
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