Married To My Teacher
Forbidden Dreamers Review Gallery
»Married To My Teacher Review«
Title (3/5)
It is correct but this isn't even about their marriage. They are merely arranged to be married to each other but it doesn't say anything about how life is being married to your teacher so the title could be more based off the process.
Foreward/Description (5/10)
You repeated your description twice; you might want to check on that. It's a basic summary of the story. Nothing to criticize but neither is there anything to credit.
Appearance (5/5)
I will give you full marks for the poster because it is cute and childish much like the entire rest of the story. And the classroom background is definitely suitable.
Plot (5/15)
I understand that you're merely a 12 year old but I have to be direct and critical considering that your 'story' is a far cry from other good stories here on AFF.
There is barely any plot in your dialogue. Your entire story is filled with dialogues only and there is really not much content to it; conversation on at home, at school, date 1, date 2 and bam the confession.
I don't even know how and why they ended up being married to each other; ie how their families chose each other. Why is Jin Ae always late and how exactly was their relationship as teacher and student prior to the engagement.
This kiss was short lived and insignificant.
I don't get how Luhan fell for Jin Ae and neither do I know how Jin Ae after insisting and getting confused about Luhan loves her when she hates him can suddenly love him without the next second.
You really need to think about what you're writing and what you are trying to express. What is the highlight of your story? Twists? Characters etc. Hwaiting.
Originality (8/15)
Arranged marriages, university life and falling in love are common within the EXO world.
Language (7/20)
There is definitely not much to judge since they are all dialogues but you made a lot of punctuation, grammer and spelling errors.
Examples:
Luhan:” Let’s try a real one. I meet at Bubble Tea Store near S Shop on Saturday, 13:00 PM.”
Luhan: "Let's try going on a real date. Let's meet at the bubble tear store near S shop on Saturday at 1pm."
Jin Ae:” But you Is a man!”
Jin Ae: "But you're a man!"
Flow (3/10)
You don't separate your author's note from the chunk of your story so it's hard to read.
Also you repeated chapter 4 and 5.
Note on the lack of plot as well so there is no flow in your story at all, jumping from one scene to the other; one day to the other.
Characterization (4/10)
As mentioned above I don't understand their relationship before and after getting put together, how their feelings changed overnight and every other character in the story.
Overall Enjoyment (2/10)
It really wasn't a story at all it was a dialogue so there wasn't much to work with but don't give up!
Reviewed by: eunhyuksgal
42/100!
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