Can I Help You, Dear?
Forbidden Dreamers Review Gallery
»Can IHelpYou, Dear?Review«
Title (5/5)
For those who haven't read the story that this is a sequel to(like me) I could only infer from a line in the very beginning that Leeteuk used to be Siwon's butler. And after playing Sherlock for ten minutes to figure this out, I simply visited the description of that story and received that information instantly. Since this is a sequel to that story, I believe the title is very apprpriate.
Foreward/Description (8/10)
It was neat and sorted out nicely. Not too revealing, while intriguing at the same time.
Appearance (5/5)
The words are not too small and are easy to read. You didn't use any blinding colors and went easy with the font.
Plot (15/15)
As I said before, planning out major events is what keeps your story going. It helps you to avoid standstills in the plot and have an ever-rolling story on your hands. Which is good, as long as said 'ever-rolling' story doesn't include random, nonsensical chapters filled with...nothing. Thankfully, I found a serious lack of this in your story. Plots don't always need to include major twists and turns to be considered good. I was ignorant to this before and your story has opened my eyes. It has a very easy flow. Events continue to happen, but nothing too drastic. And it works just fine. The story is not over, I must keep that in mind. So far, your plot is great.
Originality (14/15)
I believe it was very original. The simplicity of raising a child void of any supernatural elements is coming to be the minority here on AFF. I'm in no way subliminally bashing any stories of those genres, I'm just saying that's it's original in my eyes.
Grammer & Spelling (18/20)
Your grammar is amazing. You didn't have any problems with spelling, either. You do have a slight problem with run-on sentences. But, I'll take that as a stylistic decision and move on.
Flow (10/10)
The flow was nice and planned. You separated the chapters into events/stages of parenthood. Which prevented it from being random.
Characterization (8/10)
There wasn't much in character developement, seeing as this isn't the original piece. I understand that. If I ever have more time, I might go back to read 'Can I Help You, Sir?' But, from what I read so far, your characters are consistent. Leeteuk is a higstrung individual that gets worked up easily. But, he's also susceptible to the mood of others. Mostly, Siwon, who is both mellow and comforting. They balance each other out well. And I love Zhou Mi. Most authors have a habit of portraying children as cute, fluffballs of endless energy and joy. While, realistically, that's not the case. They are very cute and adorable. But, they can also be extremely fussy and sometimes cry for no reason at all.
Overall Enjoyment (10/10)
I'm not the biggest fluff reader. But, my preferences don't blind me from appreactiating an orginal, well written story when I run into one. And 'Can I Help You, Dear?' was just that. I apologize if this review seemed skimpy. "Great work requires few words". I hope that quote I just thought of sufficed for it. :)
Reviewed by: MiaMae14
93/100!
Comments