Brain Review
Forbidden Dreamers Review GalleryTitle (4/5) → The title is pretty original and it didn't reveal too much.
Foreword/ Description (5/10) → The description was very specific and it was interesting since Yuri is seventeen with a six year old brain. You didn't have a foreword so I can't give you point for that.
Appearance (4/5) → The poster is beautiful. The background matched with your poster. I think if you organize your fonts and page better, it would have been great :)
plot (15/15) → The plot was really interesting and it goes back to your description. I love how Jessica seems to be taking care of Yuri and she resemble a mother to Yuri. That's what I thought. I think you hit every point of your story really well. Good Job :)
Originality (13/15)→ I wasn't expecting to read what I just read. There were parts where I laughed and there are parts where I get a mysterious feeling.
Grammar & Spelling (18/20)→ "essica stepped out the house and began to walk around the familiar town, remembering memories as she passed by." The bold words are mistakes. I think you meant to write Jessica but you are missing the J. ^^
"Did-" Both girls stared to speak at the same time. Jessica let out a small smile, "You first." You meant to say started but you wrote stared.
"Yuri felt touched as her heart raced and her cheeks warmed up, "We're going to live together?" she asked, liking the idea of waking up next to Jessica every day." Everyday is one word not two.
"Yuri scoffed, "Yea right." she replied before walking out the room. Jessica watched Yuri walk out before letting a small chuckle and shaking her head." Yea should be spelled as yeah.
I only edit part of your story but you can now fix some small mistakes.
Flow (10/10)→ The flow of the story went really well and I loved it :)
Characterization (9/10)→ You should describe the way the characters' looks and add a strong touch of personality.
Overall Enjoyment (10/10)→ I would recommend this to readers that likes yuri and jessica couple.
88/100!
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