Acrimony Review

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Acrimony. - main story image

 

Title (5/5)

Can't penalize you on this at all. Perfect title to describe the two characters.
 
Foreward/Description (8/10)
 
It okay but more details would have been nicer especially since you did not touch on the reason behind Myungsoo's cold self especially.
 
Appearance (2/5)
 
Personally I feel that the expression and entire physical apperance of the chosen pictures do not fit the characters in the story; they don't look acrimonious haha. The girl looks rather lost and innocent.
 
Plot (11/15)

This is a bit hard to judge because its not completed. Basically I'm loving the concept but I believe this story isnt fully developed yet and hence leaving a lot of loose ends and possibilities (and confused readers) 

Good luck in the rest of the story because there is just so much potential I see here for character development and infinite possible endings.

Btw I'm sorry but I cant tell if Jongin is dead or he just left her.

Originality (15/15)

 
Not a typical storyline and the characters chosen are rather unique so giving you full points here.
 
Grammer & Spelling (18/20)
 
Generally your grammer and spelling is fine but your sentence structuring could do with a bit of work; one example:

"Ahri pused the man away, flicking her locks away, she rocked her hips away. She twirled around and her bum out, grinding on a random guy, who responded by placing his hands on her . Ahri rubbed her cheeks against the male's aching , she smirked and left him hanging."

Suggestion:

"Ahri pushed the man away, flicked her locks and continued rocking her hips. Twirling around, she started grinding her bum on yet another random guy who responded by placing his hands on her . After another 20minutes of teasing from Ahri as she rubbed her cheeks against the male's aching , she left him hanging, smirking to herself as yet another victim fell pray to her games."

I find your sentences a bit too segmented; not flowy.

Flow (8/10)

 
Apart from sentence structure, the flow of the story is fine but more elaborations could be helpful for story and character development.
 
Characterization (9/10)
 
They fit the description but more background information would be lovely; maybe in the upcoming chapters?
 
Overall Enjoyment (9/10)
 
Hitting the subcribe button to see what happens next. 

Reviewed by: eunhyuksgal

85/100!

 
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ThanhXuan #1
Chapter 135: Thanks for the review ♡
Amalya #2
Chapter 134: Thank you for taking the time to review my story oohkatsoo. I didn't mind the wait and getting the additional perspective was a good thing in the end. ;)
I have been warned about the too many characters too quickly thing in a previous review and have yet to try and fix that, but duly noted again. haha As for the capitalization issue, I think I was going for that fairly bizarre context (in English anyway) where you capitalize some of the terms when they refer to very specific named creatures (Namjoon's father as a Titan (Perses in his back story) versus titans as a race). Likewise for chimaera though that one was never meant to be capitalized. The only one I really had an issue with in writing was actually Cyclops and that was because my spell checker kept saying the lowercase spelling was wrong. >.> lol
I will certainly consider adding more descriptions or definitions for some of the harder to grasp terms, such as what a titan actually is, in the future. I was much better about doing that in my Norse mythology story to be honest. lol I'm pretty sure the time crunch to finish it before the deadline made me sloppy here.
The game they played was meant to sort of parallel a crude cross between more modern day football (in the US) as evidenced by the in-story name, which is a fairly barbaric sport to begin with, and the gladiator events of ancient Greece and Rome, which were very barbaric events in which the competitors often died. As for the sudden appearance of the monster, I'm not sure I can actually fix that one, or if I want to at the moment. I'll think it over and see what comes of it, but either way, I do appreciate the review all the same.
It's especially nice to confirm what I am able to do well in the story just as much as it's good to be aware of what can be smoothed out more. So again, thank you for the review. I hope my comment might be able to help explain things a bit more in turn but I shall credit you and the shop immediately. ^_^
aya-ELF #3
Chapter 4: Hi!! I have a question, do you guys only do reviews for completed stories??
libianno #4
Chapter 128: Thank you for the review on Chasing Pavements. I appreciate you straight forward and honest opinions. I will use the pointers you have provided me well :)
funkybastard #5
Chapter 12: Hii, I just start writing and i really want to improve my skill and i like how blunt and forward this review shop is ^^. How do i request from the shop?
thelittleluhan #6
Chapter 113: Thank you for the review! I didn't expect what you gave me, I was honestly thinking it would be a lot worse. I'll definitely keep in mind what you said about Title and Appearance. I did feel the same about the title being less focused on the main character when you mentioned it, so that's definitely something I'll work on. I might see if I can change the title to a more fitting one (but I'm soooo bad at titles >_<). Thank you again for taking the time to review my story. You don't know how much it means to me that you at least enjoyed it ^_^
sorindae_ #7
Chapter 110: This review really hurt my feelings. But it's okay. I know of I have to improve my grammar. Thank you for helping review this story.
ZiahZiah #8
Thank you so much for the review! (honestly, I thought I'd get worse) hahaha I'll change that grammar error soon. I'm so glad you pointed that out. :) by the way, may I ask who my reviewer was? I wanted to credit them in my Foreword! Thank you! :D
-dulcet #9
Chapter 84: Oh thank you for the review. I'll credit you indeed I'll keep your tips in mind. Thank you :)
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