Behind Closed Doors

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»Behind Closed DoorsReview«

Story

Title (5/5)

I really really like this title, I find it so appropriate with a deep meaning. Behind closed doors; being related to secrets untold and the characters within this story harbour a lot so props to that. Add on how Baekhyun had first found her behind a locked toilet door, how she likes to seek refuge behind her bedroom door. Full marks here. (unless I'm just thinking too much)
 
Foreward/Description (8/10)
 
Definitely attention grabbing but I would have preferred some relation to the characters within the story to make it more personal. 
 
Appearance (3/5)
 
Readable font, good spacing and paragraphing. Just might want to add a horizontal line of sorts before your author's note so it looks more segregated from the story as a suggestion. 
 
Plot (10/15)
 
This is really just the beginning so the score is as such. 
 
As per mentioned in relation to your title, I like how you have established the mysterious characters Eunhyung and Baekhyun and now possibly Chanyeol. What exactly is their background and why do they behave the way they do? Definitely drawing your readers in but my slight complain would be that too little has happened/ been revealed in five chapters. 
 
Credit to revelation of her mother's death which is probably a contributing factor but so far it seems that her running away might be a random one time off impulsive action and if true should already been explained as to what drove her to do so. From my perspective, had it been a long pressing issue ie as some of your readers might think an abusive father, her getaway should have been a planned one ie luggage and getaway transport. This seems more like a small fight which led her to angrily flee the house in the midst of mad emotions because she doesnt seem too afraid returning back home. 
 
Will go into characters below, overall an interesting start but more could have been done in terms of characterization and flow.
 
Originality (13/15)
 
A bit too early to tell if you're headed down a cliche path but currently I like what I see so credit given. 
 
Language (19/20)
 
Absolutely nothing wrong with your writing, would have preferred more emotions apart from just physical descriptions of events. 
 
Flow (7/10)
 
As mentioned above, a bit too slow for me; too little has happened. But overall chapter length and linking one to the next has been quite comfortable. 
 
Characterization (5/10)
 
Eunkyung as your main character definitely needs a lot more emotional development. What caused her impulse runaway, her way of judging people, is she an anti-social?
 
Honestly, her father's character seems rather mild so far, is her hatred even justified? Is it really him or is it just her?
 
I wasn't too fond of the way she judged Baekhyun; a cute looking petite boy looks like a ? I can't tell what part of him screams at all especially with a soft character; versus a huge guy who banged the door down impolitely after screaming out once. Add to that the total opposite of how her father suddenly views him after simply a short chat after proving to us that he does not approve of her being out with a guy at night. 
 
Can't pick on too much on why Baekhyun acts the way he does since story is done in Eunkyung's POV so if you want us to feel how she does, understand her, you need to really develop her well so I can relate. Currently I can't figure her out. 
 
Overall Enjoyment (7/10)
 
Not too bad a read. 
 
Reviewed by: eunhyuksgal
 
77/100!
 
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Comments

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ThanhXuan
#1
Chapter 135: Thanks for the review ♡
Amalya
#2
Chapter 134: Thank you for taking the time to review my story oohkatsoo. I didn't mind the wait and getting the additional perspective was a good thing in the end. ;)
I have been warned about the too many characters too quickly thing in a previous review and have yet to try and fix that, but duly noted again. haha As for the capitalization issue, I think I was going for that fairly bizarre context (in English anyway) where you capitalize some of the terms when they refer to very specific named creatures (Namjoon's father as a Titan (Perses in his back story) versus titans as a race). Likewise for chimaera though that one was never meant to be capitalized. The only one I really had an issue with in writing was actually Cyclops and that was because my spell checker kept saying the lowercase spelling was wrong. >.> lol
I will certainly consider adding more descriptions or definitions for some of the harder to grasp terms, such as what a titan actually is, in the future. I was much better about doing that in my Norse mythology story to be honest. lol I'm pretty sure the time crunch to finish it before the deadline made me sloppy here.
The game they played was meant to sort of parallel a crude cross between more modern day football (in the US) as evidenced by the in-story name, which is a fairly barbaric sport to begin with, and the gladiator events of ancient Greece and Rome, which were very barbaric events in which the competitors often died. As for the sudden appearance of the monster, I'm not sure I can actually fix that one, or if I want to at the moment. I'll think it over and see what comes of it, but either way, I do appreciate the review all the same.
It's especially nice to confirm what I am able to do well in the story just as much as it's good to be aware of what can be smoothed out more. So again, thank you for the review. I hope my comment might be able to help explain things a bit more in turn but I shall credit you and the shop immediately. ^_^
aya-ELF
#3
Chapter 4: Hi!! I have a question, do you guys only do reviews for completed stories??
libianno
#4
Chapter 128: Thank you for the review on Chasing Pavements. I appreciate you straight forward and honest opinions. I will use the pointers you have provided me well :)
funkybastard
#5
Chapter 12: Hii, I just start writing and i really want to improve my skill and i like how blunt and forward this review shop is ^^. How do i request from the shop?
thelittleluhan
#6
Chapter 113: Thank you for the review! I didn't expect what you gave me, I was honestly thinking it would be a lot worse. I'll definitely keep in mind what you said about Title and Appearance. I did feel the same about the title being less focused on the main character when you mentioned it, so that's definitely something I'll work on. I might see if I can change the title to a more fitting one (but I'm soooo bad at titles >_<). Thank you again for taking the time to review my story. You don't know how much it means to me that you at least enjoyed it ^_^
sorindae_
#7
Chapter 110: This review really hurt my feelings. But it's okay. I know of I have to improve my grammar. Thank you for helping review this story.
ZiahZiah
#8
Thank you so much for the review! (honestly, I thought I'd get worse) hahaha I'll change that grammar error soon. I'm so glad you pointed that out. :) by the way, may I ask who my reviewer was? I wanted to credit them in my Foreword! Thank you! :D
-dulcet
#9
Chapter 84: Oh thank you for the review. I'll credit you indeed I'll keep your tips in mind. Thank you :)