Tainted Blades
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Title (3/5)
I can't really judge now because it is too early into the story but I can see that it's about assassins and fighting etc so the title is apt but so far I've only seen Jungkook use the bow so I'm not too sure on the choice of weapon in the title yet.
Foreward/Description (5/10)
The description was quite cute and is captivating but I didn't like how the two boys aren't named. Also, none of the members were listed in the character chart under the foreword and it's weird because you make EXO and BTS sound like a person. And also, "you" have not appeared. "you" POV stories are never nice to read so you might want to watch your POV in future when introducing the girl in.
Appearance (5/5)
It definitely is pretty and does compliment the mystery of the story very nicely.
Plot (7/15)
Too early for me to judge once again. So far, nothing has happened but I have noticed the introduction of the "outsider".
I did not like the build up of the village where two random people are labeled as king and queen and of what exactly? To be honest, the picture just wasn't nicely painted in my head.
I'll talk about story and character development below.
Originality (11/15)
I give you credit here cause this "robin hood" scenarios are not too common on AFF.
Language (7/20)
TI am taking into account English isn't your first language but I have to be critical anyway. A lot of phrasing can be improved upon, something you can by reading more. Below are mistakes I spotted just to name a few.
Examples:
He was a real killing machine behind that baby-matured face.
He was a real killing machine behind that baby face. (no sure thing as baby-matured face)
But what can he say?
But what could he have said?
scardey-cat.
scaredy-cat.
He went through heavy and torturing trainings, and he thought he was going to die at a young age.
He went through tedious and torturous trainings and he thought he was going to die at that young age.
Flow (5/10)
The link between the 2 chapters have been ok so far but there's simply no progression.
Characterization (4/10)
Jungkook's past needs to be more developed. How was the BTS gang formed? What exactly is their relationship like with each other? Why does Jungkook hate the King and Queen? Why does those two look down on BTS?
The base needs to be strong.
Overall Enjoyment (4/10)
Average story but I can see how you're drawing readers in on the adventurous aspect.
Reviewed by: eunhyuksgal
51/100!
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