Saranghaeyo, Sonsaengnim! Review
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»Saranghaeyo, Sonsaengnim! Review«
Title (3/5)
The words are fine but I believe it is a complicated love story which isn't too on the cheery side; the exclamation mark at the end is not appropriate. This feels like a happy confession; shouting and professing her love.
Foreward/Description (7/10)
It's simple enough and to the point but to engage your readers you might want to throw in a bit of elements like "how will this forbidden love go?" "even if it hurts how can she forget her two year love" etc
Appearance (3/5)
I'm commenting on the top poster cause it appears first. If Yuri makes an appearance there it would be nice if Keunsuk appears there as a minor part as well.
Plot (10/15)
I am giving you a slightly lower score here because its uncompleted and I want to leave you a lot of room for improvements. I do have a lot of pointers which are hopefully helpful in your development:
-You have chosen a love story with a rather mature nature; deep and meaningful so that is special but you have to take note of a lot of things
-Firstly you are going into a student-teacher relationship which is by itself forbidden in schools so it has to show that the main characters are aware that their feelings are taboo
-This leads to the development of SooHyun's feelings towards YoungHee. There is repeated mention that he is physically attracted to her after seeing her dressed up so you might want to be careful heading towards that direction as well
- Also as said a teacher-student relationship is frowned upon so you might want to comment on their and perhaps maturity and mindset of YoungHee to deem her suitable to be in such a relationship to your readers
-Note that in a university, there are professors, assistant professors and doctors whom are lecturers, to be a professor you are rather old. I know he's not but might be good to explain his background (im sorry if I happen to miss it)
- In the opening chapters, it might have been good to focus on YoungHee's deep love towards her lecturer as well so we can feel her strong emotions and basically feel for her and understand her actions for subsequent chapters in the story
-In chapter 9 when it was said she was deeply in love, I couldnt quite grasp the concept and feeling well
-the intitial relationship development was a bit unclear as well, it seemed she went from a shy girl who had a crush to a pretty brave character and then back to a weird fangirl.
Other pointers:
-you might want to refrain from doing too much of a "YoungHee POV" followed by a "SooHyun POV" happening concurrently; the "in the meantime...at x location x is doing..."
-it confuses repetition and confusion, you might want to seperate them into different chapters instead ie event A,B and C all in YoungHee's POV and the next chapter another. Or do it as a third POV and throw in both character's emotions
-Chapter 12 isnt an epilogue its a flashback
-Your literature aspect is quite well done; not sure if you're a lit student but as much as I liked it, lit is not common knowledge so not sure if going into depth on sonnets and metaphors and symbolisms excite your readers. You might want to pick things like "Romeo and Juliet" just so you know your readers understand where you're going
Hwaiting for continuation chapters!
Originality (13/15)
Definitely something fresh especially away from the kpop idol world.
Grammer & Spelling (13/20)
Quite a bit of errors but I understand English isnt your strong point.
I'll list a few mistakes:
Chapter 1:
-"Please do not forget to log on to e-learn portal tonight at 9pm. I will post the online quiz there, and answer all of it before 11pm. This will contribute to 10% of your assessment mark." he reminded.
-With that, he was done teaching for the day.
Might be good to get someone to help you with it.
Flow (6/10)
As mentioned above, switching POV with the "in the meantime" can be confusing. But overall story flow is acceptable but more emotional development is required as well as characterization.
Characterization (5/10)
Matured theme love story, a lot more needs to go into the emotional development of the characters; how they feel etc cause you have soooo much angst depression heartbreak lost, so much potential to explore into these areas and play on it. You want to make the readers feel what the characters feel. So much potential in this story.
Overall Enjoyment (6/10)
Definitely a comfortable read with a less than cliche storyline.
Reviewed by: eunhyuksgal
66/100!
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