Primrose Path - Review
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»Primrose PathReview«
Title (3/5)
Hard to judge because it is too fresh into the story. I have not seen anything positive and sweet within the first chapter and the "prologue" isn't too much of a calamity to me.
Foreward/Description (8/10)
Definitely helps that you put the definition/meaning of primrose path there for us to understand the storyline. And I do like the suspense you created of humans going after Minji cause it leaves a lot of "whys" to the readers but you might want to add on a bit of hint.
Appearance (4/5)
I absolutely love the poster. It matches the description perfectly as well. But it does seem that the words would belong more so to a vampire than Minji; so you might beed to clear that up unless I am interpreting this wrongly and the words "Run, they're after me not you" actually does belong to Jongin.
Plot (10/15)
I think it is a rather interesting plot; kind of reminds me of twilight a lot though.
However there isn't too much for me to judge in terms of story development as you have barely started. Shall just give some suggestions
I like how you started with a prologue which shows the "ending" and then move onto the events which led up to it. However the prologue could have been way more impactful than it currently is. You want to touch on abuse and perhaps how love can survive anything. Particularly on how Minji does not mind the pain due to true love. Ie he harms her accidentally or the bite was inflicted in the midst of his vampirism being uncontrolled and yet she submitted to it willingly on her side etc.
Also I believe the first chapter is about Minji's background. A lot more content and substance would have been helpful. Ie how she is feeling internally, why she is giving up and what led to it etc. And just to make things more interesting you can introduce someone at the end of the chapter like a "ray of hope" Jongin?
Good luck on future chapters!
Originality (13/15)
Interesting storyline. Especially when including creatures that dont exist; vampires and creating vampire slayers amidst humans. Make sure you detail the characteristics and lifestyle of vampires well.
Grammer & Spelling (18/20)
Simple but no grave mistakes.
Flow (7/10)
As mentioned above I like how you opened with the prologue.
Characterization (5/10)
Based on chapter one alone, a lot needs to be done as mentioned above.
Even in the prologue I cant quite feel the relationship between Minji and Jongin; especially their crazy love for each other.
Overall Enjoyment (7/10)
A good read nonetheless especially for EXO fans ;-) Curious to what Sehun's role will be.
Reviewed by: eunhyuksgal
75/100!
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