Runes of Despair
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»Runes of DespairReview«
Title (5/5)
Appropriate and deep enough for me; nothing to complain.
Foreward/Description (6/10)
I can slowly guess who belongs to what group in the description but its not explicitly stated and can be rather confusing. Honestly, I had imagined a bunch of fighters on the run, escaping from the bounty hunters. But here you have rather innocent naive children being captured even before the story progresses so that is something else altogether.
Appearance (4/5)
The poster appears a bit plain to me and considering you have placed such strong emphasis on forming the army of boys it might have been nice to have them appear as well.
Plot (12/15)
I really love the plot, I think its extremely original, action-packed and engaging. Here are some critical feedbacks on the content I have which I hope you find useful:
- Since you decided to use a band (EXO) which by itself has members coming from a diverse background, it would have been better if you stuck to the truth; ie when stating where they came from, use their actual hometown.
- It might have been more interesting if you talked how they came about and their past before Yi-en actually revealed it. LIke this, readers would be kept guessing why they were captured and try to formulate a link between their parents etc. Since Yi-en already stated it, we're reading for the sake of reading knowing exactly what to expect, chapter 6-8 came off a bit boring. But kudos to keeping suspense on the Kyungsoo bit.
- Where is Kris? Unless you plan to write a 60 chapter story, isn't it already quite far into the story for Kris to not have made an appearane yet? I'm just a bit sore here because Luhan seems to be the main character to me now.
Once again, I really admire your creativity here in constructing a whole new universe, and giving hiearchy and organizations to your characters.
Originality (15/15)
Will give you full credit here for coming up with such an imaginative storyline. It is intricate and yet emotional, well done.
Language (19/20)
I really appreciated the footnote inserted for the usage of korean words. I cannot even count the number of times I have penalized someone on the usage of korean words in an english story assuming the whole world was supposed to understand what the hell that was so thank you. Though a footnote is hard to scroll through; maybe putting it in brackets beside the word might help; just a suggestion.
Minus one for slight confusion in certain sentence structures. Other than that, it's perfectly fine.
Flow (7/10)
Like I mentioned above, some chapters came off a bit boring and honestly for what I am reviewing (till chapter 14) too little has happened.
Characterization (8/10)
I was a bit put off at imagining what I know to be a grown man as a wailing kid (Jongin) but I don't its fair for me to penalize you for not using EXO's actual characters and personality. I don't know them well but I can see a bit shining through.
I like how you have developed Eunkyung.
Overall Enjoyment (10/10)
I have to give you full marks, it was a long but good read.
Reviewed by: eunhyuksgal
86/100!
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