Touch of a Demon Review
Forbidden Dreamers Review Gallery»Touch of a DemonReview«
Title (4/5)
It cute and appropriate. Not the most creative of titles but definitely fitting of the story so far
Foreward/Description (5/10)
Honestly, its a bit confusing. Even after reading it twice I still could not quite understand; the opening sounds like Myungsoo's POV and the second half sounds like Ara's POV. You might even want to move the prologue here.
Appearance (4/5)
I really like the poster. They're so hot. But I cant tell who the demon is from the poster; it seems like they both are that's why its confusing in the first few chapters before yuo mentioned Myungsoo's name.
Plot (10/15)
The idea you have is really good. I recognize snippets from the death note and the notion of a cursed child and the demon is definitely an interesting read.
It is too early in the story to comment on your plot because Woohyun hasn't even appeared.
In general the plot development is fine and I can catch the few key points you are trying to bring across in each chapter but it is a bit confusing to jump here and there.
However you might want to seek some advice in writing to better express your story.
Originality (13/15)
Very interesting plot as mentioned above.
Grammer & Spelling (12/20)
Quite a lot of errors here and there but most of it I do understand the meaning and so far it hasnt been detrimental to the plot development.
Here are some sample rephrasing:
Prologue:
-"But to me, a demon is a gift; one who gave me life. However he also left me a curse...."
-"I CANNOT DIE" instead of "I WILL NOT DIE"
-"I hate the fact that I live from..."
Chapter 1:
-"As I started to walk again, my headache got worst as I was hit by visions of numbers and alphabets above the head of everyone I passed. These were symbols of their thoughts, their birth dates, death dates and even how they were going to die"
-"As I started to walk again, my headache got worst as I was hit by visions of numbers and alphabets above the head of everyone I passed. These were symbols of their thoughts, their birth dates, death dates and even how they were going to die"
Chapter 2:
-"Ara opened her eyes..."
Chapter 4:
-"Ara jumped to catch a butterly..."
Theres really quite a lot of spelling and grammatical errors within your story. Might be good to get a beta to help you with these.
Flow (7/10)
As mentioned above, so far the story movement is acceptable but some confusion caused.
Characterization (5/10)
A lot more can be injected. This story has a lot of potential for emotional development. Ara as a cursed child who is shunned by old; the pain the suffering. Myungsoo as the pillar of support yet the sole reason of her pain; the love and hate relationship she has. Bring in the possessiveness he has. Does he have feelings that run much deeper than just being her demon; what exactly is the bond they share? All these and more to be developed.
Overall Enjoyment (6/10)
I do like the storyline but language is indeed an issue here. All the best!
Reviewed by: eunhyuksgal
66/100!
Comments