Kiss of the Hummingbird
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»Kiss of the HummingbirdReview«
Title (3/5)
The title is very soft and gentle-sounding. I understand why you chose the title but it lacked the spark that made it special. The title should have something a special meaning that is also eyecatching.
Foreword/Description (5/10)
The description is actually well-written. The description of the hummingbirds was meaningful. The description made me want to read it a lot. I think it is really important to have a foreword. The foreword is the key to make readers want to click "next" and start reading.
Appearance (5/5)
The story is very neat and organize. I really like the poster and the background. Also, the Korean title is eye-catching!
Storyline (10/15)
I got to say that in the beginning, I had very high hopes for this story. The description was very interesting, as I read on...there was something that felt missing. In the beginning, Luhan and Sehun is having dinner. I was a bit confused because it felt like you just dropped the setting on the reader.
Moving forward, the story goes back in time to how Luhan and Sehun met in the hospital. The sparks and the feelings were described by Sehun. When you move a story back in time, everything has to be written carefully. I am not a fan of stories going back into the past or memories because it lacks interest. I think if you started in the past and in the end you shock the readers by making it seem like Sehun is reliving his memories while having dinner with Luhan would've been better.
Originality (10/15)
When chapter one started, i felt like I read something like this before. This story reminds me of "the fault in our stars." The story lacked details that would make it interesting and shine on its own. It's really hard to have an interesting angst story because people tend to stay away from them.
Language (12/20)
The language was great. There wasn't any mistakes that I caught. I think you have a way to write great stories. You just need to explain well. Your description isn't written in Sehun's view, so when you start make sure to write it in third person or you will need to change your description. The words that you use to describe Sehun's feelings and Luhan's feelings can be felt but it still lack emotions.
Flow (7/10)
The flow of the story isn't bad. Like I said before, I am not a fan of stories that replays a character's memories. There were ups and downs in the story.
Characterization (4/10)
The characters lack expression/emotions. The characters aren't described as much as I would have liked. If i didnt know Sehun, I wouldn't have known how he looked liked.
Overall (5/10)
The story will give you the chance to relive the memories of Sehun. You will be able to see the story unfold through Sehun's eyes.
Reviewed by: s3xyangel
61/100!
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