Picture Something Perfect

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Picture Something Perfect - main story image

Story

Title (4/5)

I like it's relation to photography and it links to your description nicely.
 
Foreward/Description (8/10)
 
It gives a nice introduction with no details given. Captivating so I will give you credit here. 
 
Appearance (3/5)
 
The poster looks rather plain and I don't know what to expect about the story looking at it; genre etc. But I do like the character chart and story status with pictures.
 
Plot (10/15)
 
Score as such due to the fact that this story is just beginning. I see a lot of possibilities for story development so there is potential in that area. 
 
So far you have brought the characters into the story smoothly and created interest in them from your readers so well done.
 
Some advice: Plan your story, take care of your and highlight. Seems character centered as you introduced them as the "photographer" and "waitress". Think about how you're going to play their titles into the story.
 
Originality (11/15)
 
Hard to judge but I like the direction it's going with a hint of maturity and non highschool based.
 
Language (18/20)
 
Overall I can tell you have a grasp of the English language but note your phrasing and tenses at times. It almost seems as if you're translating from a different language. Also I admire your use of big words but too much may render it difficult to read for some readers in a fanfiction world. 
 
When using another language ie "lengua materna" you might want to do it in italics and perhaps even put the English meaning in brackets. Not everyone knows what it means. 
 
Flow (9/10)
 
So far so good, smooth and well-paced.
 
Characterization (7/10)
 
I do like how you have introduced the characters so far as the "photographer" and "waitress" but slight question on Anna's background; why does she have an English name and her sister not? 
 
Also bear in mind when you mix so many cultures together. Korean girl working in a Japanese restaurant; Chinese man traveling the world and being able to converse in so many languages. Take note of the different cultures between Chinese and Koreans when you go into the meeting as well.
 
Overall Enjoyment (7/10)
 
I'm only reading a glimpse into the story, so far so good.
 
Reviewed by: eunhyuksgal
 
77/100!
 
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Comments

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ThanhXuan #1
Chapter 135: Thanks for the review ♡
Amalya #2
Chapter 134: Thank you for taking the time to review my story oohkatsoo. I didn't mind the wait and getting the additional perspective was a good thing in the end. ;)
I have been warned about the too many characters too quickly thing in a previous review and have yet to try and fix that, but duly noted again. haha As for the capitalization issue, I think I was going for that fairly bizarre context (in English anyway) where you capitalize some of the terms when they refer to very specific named creatures (Namjoon's father as a Titan (Perses in his back story) versus titans as a race). Likewise for chimaera though that one was never meant to be capitalized. The only one I really had an issue with in writing was actually Cyclops and that was because my spell checker kept saying the lowercase spelling was wrong. >.> lol
I will certainly consider adding more descriptions or definitions for some of the harder to grasp terms, such as what a titan actually is, in the future. I was much better about doing that in my Norse mythology story to be honest. lol I'm pretty sure the time crunch to finish it before the deadline made me sloppy here.
The game they played was meant to sort of parallel a crude cross between more modern day football (in the US) as evidenced by the in-story name, which is a fairly barbaric sport to begin with, and the gladiator events of ancient Greece and Rome, which were very barbaric events in which the competitors often died. As for the sudden appearance of the monster, I'm not sure I can actually fix that one, or if I want to at the moment. I'll think it over and see what comes of it, but either way, I do appreciate the review all the same.
It's especially nice to confirm what I am able to do well in the story just as much as it's good to be aware of what can be smoothed out more. So again, thank you for the review. I hope my comment might be able to help explain things a bit more in turn but I shall credit you and the shop immediately. ^_^
aya-ELF #3
Chapter 4: Hi!! I have a question, do you guys only do reviews for completed stories??
libianno #4
Chapter 128: Thank you for the review on Chasing Pavements. I appreciate you straight forward and honest opinions. I will use the pointers you have provided me well :)
funkybastard #5
Chapter 12: Hii, I just start writing and i really want to improve my skill and i like how blunt and forward this review shop is ^^. How do i request from the shop?
thelittleluhan #6
Chapter 113: Thank you for the review! I didn't expect what you gave me, I was honestly thinking it would be a lot worse. I'll definitely keep in mind what you said about Title and Appearance. I did feel the same about the title being less focused on the main character when you mentioned it, so that's definitely something I'll work on. I might see if I can change the title to a more fitting one (but I'm soooo bad at titles >_<). Thank you again for taking the time to review my story. You don't know how much it means to me that you at least enjoyed it ^_^
sorindae_ #7
Chapter 110: This review really hurt my feelings. But it's okay. I know of I have to improve my grammar. Thank you for helping review this story.
ZiahZiah #8
Thank you so much for the review! (honestly, I thought I'd get worse) hahaha I'll change that grammar error soon. I'm so glad you pointed that out. :) by the way, may I ask who my reviewer was? I wanted to credit them in my Foreword! Thank you! :D
-dulcet #9
Chapter 84: Oh thank you for the review. I'll credit you indeed I'll keep your tips in mind. Thank you :)
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