»Descendants and Tribulations Review« 

Story

Title (5/5)

It’s definitely intriguing and unique. Considering the negative connotation of the word “tribulations,” your title influences the initial mood of a new reader when they perceive your story.

Foreword/Description (8/10)

The description does pique my interest. I think you were aiming for an ominous mood, but I personally feel as if you only achieved this halfway.

As for the foreword, I rather enjoyed it. It proves Namjoon’s character to me as someone who is worthy of being the main focus – someone to not be underestimated, yet in a way that the rest of us can relate to, he also just wants to be given attention and to be cared for like any other normal person. 

I feel like the concept of this story would be difficult to comprehend if the reader didn’t have any knowledge of Greek mythology beforehand. In many paranormal stories on this site, the author generally has definitions of certain terms somewhere in the foreword. I suggest explaining what a Titan is somewhere in your foreword for future readers who are from outside countries and for those who don’t exactly know what a Titan is to begin with.
Side note: In the description, you capitalized Titan, but in the foreword, you didn’t. If you consider the word “Titan” as a special label for your characters, you should capitalize it.

Appearance (4/5)

The poster is stunning, and I love the symbolism behind it. The fact that Namjoon has the appearance of white angel wings behind him projects the image of innocence while the opposite can be said for Suga, whose wings are dark.

Edit after reading the story: I'm truly sorry, but I took off a point because after reading the whole story, I felt that the symbolism behind the poster didn't suit the story. I feel like the poster makes out the story to be more ominous than it actually is. 

Plot (11/15)

In all honesty, it’s a bit confusing to follow the storyline at first. There were just so many descriptions of everything going on, and there were so many characters being introduced at once. It was difficult for me to keep up with who was who. Nevertheless, it became easier after the first three chapters.

Truthfully, I thought the game everyone played at the training center was sort of strange since it did pose real threats to them. However, I like how you used this game as a way for Namjoon to bond with the others and earn their trust.

The only issue I had with the main conflict at the end was the monster’s sudden appearance. The mood of your story just switched from happy to devastating so quickly.

Originality (15/15)

Props to you for tackling the Greek myth genre. Writing a story in this category requires research and knowledge beforehand. There aren’t many other AFF authors out there who are willing to write stories like this.

Language (18/20)

Your wide vocabulary is amazing, and I really appreciate the vivid descriptions of your settings.

As for your grammar, the only noticeable errors I could find were your slip-ups with capitalization. Since the words “Titan” & “Chimaera” are titles/names, they should be capitalized every time they are used. When you addressed J-Hope in the beginning as “horse-face,” I believe his nickname should be capitalized as well [“Horse-face”].

As for your spelling, I didn’t catch any mistakes. Well done!

Flow (8/10)

Like I said before, it was just a little difficult to keep up with the story in the beginning, but it got better over time.

Moreover, I’d like to commend you on how well you paced out the story regarding the characters’ personalities. I really liked how Suga and his group didn’t accept Namjoon right away. It took them time to allow him into their group, and it was interesting how Namjoon learned more things about them the more he hung out with them. It’s much more realistic that way.

Characterization (10/10)

I just don’t have enough words to express how much I love Namjoon’s character in this story. The way you wrote his character is so well-thought-out and believable. Although he may be the descendant of a Titan, readers are reminded that, in the end, Namjoon is just as human as the rest of us. He is stubborn, a bit of a jerk at times, and arrogant. Over time, he earns the trust of the others and learns to be a team player. His character really does change throughout the story. As displayed in chapter six, he is willing to work for what he wants to earn, which would have been completely out of character for his former self.

Furthermore, I love how determined he was at the end of the story to save Suga. He practically risked everything he had to rescue the one he loved.

As for the other characters, I think you did all of them justice. There isn’t much else to say.

Overall Enjoyment (8/10)

All in all, although there were times where I wasn’t completely enamored with the content, this was a beautiful story. Albeit it was a bit difficult for me to adjust to in the beginning, the conflict at the end and its resolution wrapped up this fanfic wonderfully. 

Reviewed by: oohkatsoo

87/100!

Note from the reviewer: I'm honestly sorry for taking so long with your request! As for your writing, I think it's amazing. Keep up the good work! Have a wonderful day, and please don't forget to credit the shop~ ♥ oohkatsoo