Married To My Teacher

Story Reviews

»Married To My Teacher Review«

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Story

Title (3/5)

It is correct but this isn't even about their marriage. They are merely arranged to be married to each other but it doesn't say anything about how life is being married to your teacher so the title could be more based off the process. 
 
Foreward/Description (5/10)
 
You repeated your description twice; you might want to check on that. It's a basic summary of the story. Nothing to criticize but neither is there anything to credit. 
 
Appearance (5/5)
 
I will give you full marks for the poster because it is cute and childish much like the entire rest of the story. And the classroom background is definitely suitable.
 
Plot (5/15)
 
I understand that  you're merely a 12 year old but I have to be direct and critical considering that your 'story' is a far cry from other good stories here on AFF. 
 
There is barely any plot in your dialogue. Your entire story is filled with dialogues only and there is really not much content to it; conversation on at home, at school, date 1, date 2 and bam the confession.
 
I don't even know how and why they ended up being married to each other; ie how their families chose each other. Why is Jin Ae always late and how exactly was their relationship as teacher and student prior to the engagement.
 
This kiss was short lived and insignificant.
 
I don't get how Luhan fell for Jin Ae and neither do I know how Jin Ae after insisting and getting confused about Luhan loves her when she hates him can suddenly love him without the next second. 
 
You really need to think about what you're writing and what you are trying to express. What is the highlight of your story? Twists? Characters etc. Hwaiting. 
 
 
Originality (8/15)
 
Arranged marriages, university life and falling in love are common within the EXO world. 
 
 
Language (7/20)
 
There is definitely not much to judge since they are all dialogues but you made a lot of punctuation, grammer and spelling errors. 
 
Examples:
 
Luhan:” Let’s try a real one. I meet at Bubble Tea Store near S Shop on Saturday, 13:00 PM.”
Luhan: "Let's try going on a real date. Let's meet at the bubble tear store near S shop on Saturday at 1pm."
 
Jin Ae:” But you Is a man!”
Jin Ae: "But you're a man!"
 
 
Flow (3/10)
 
You don't separate your author's note from the chunk of your story so it's hard to read.
Also you repeated chapter 4 and 5. 
 
Note on the lack of plot as well so there is no flow in your story at all, jumping from one scene to the other; one day to the other.
 
 
Characterization (4/10)
 
As mentioned above I don't understand their relationship before and after getting put together, how their feelings changed overnight and every other character in the story. 
 
Overall Enjoyment (2/10)
 
It really wasn't a story at all it was a dialogue so there wasn't much to work with but don't give up!
 
Reviewed by: eunhyuksgal
 
42/100!
 
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aya-ELF #1
Chapter 85: Thank you for the review dear! I was relly shocked with the language part OTL, I'm gonna go fix it right now! By the way, do you think it will be better if I write a simple prologue to explain the life of a demon and what's the benefit to have a mate??
EPIONE #2
Heyy,

I don't know if you remember me, but I was just wondering where you're currently working this year as a reviewer?
I'd love to request from you again.

Best,
Epione
teenme14 #3
Chapter 72: Okay.. Thanks for the review ^^

Now to clarify XD
Title: As you said, the highlight/ of the story has not yet come. So yeahh..
Plot: This is my first chaptered story after my long hiatus from writing. After the hiatus, I wrote a two shot. So, I kinda forgot how to write a chaptered story XD The present time of the story is at the end of Summer (hence, their summer break). Oh, and I plan on making this fic a 40 chaptered fic.
- I guess I haven't mentioned the type of phone she is using. Samsung phones are quite cheap in Korea but are also expensive for people with financial probs. So, back to her phone. The phone she is using is a Samsung Galaxy Win Pro G3812. And she is using pre-paid which you'll have to top-up each time the credit finishes or it expires, whichever comes first.
- The cafe's delivery system works like this: A person will order through phone, and they jot down the name and address of the person. One of the workers will be asked to deliver the drink/food. If the house is near enough, they deliver by foot. If it is rather far, they ride a bike.
-I am not a dancer and... OTL I really need a dancer to help me whenever dancing scenes come up TT.TT
- About Mr. and Mrs. Kim, it will be known in the next chapter that I'm writing now.
Characterization: I am really bad at this XD Jongin's feelings at first was just merely interested. It's not a crush. He just simply feels interested by the girl. Hana & Sehun... We'll know more once we're more into the story XD

So.. yeah.. Thanks ^^ Sorry for the English mistakes. English is not my first language
teenme14 #4
Chapter 62: Thank you for the review! Glad you liked it! ^^ it's a bit fast paced coz I had a deadline to follow and finished it in 2 days xD I was planning on making a special chapter for the part before jongdae confessed to get to know Hye Sun better and how Jongdae came to like her. I was in a rush, so yeah. I was thinking that a LIFETIME to forget was that, he WOULD eventually fall in love with another girl but he would never forget Hye Sun since she was his first love. About the part where she died: I wanted her to die in an accifent rather than in the surgery was because Jongdae's parents died in an accident too which would somehow, idk, increase the pain (whut)
hanajoe #5
Chapter 32: Thanks for the review^^
I know my i'm not good enough in English T-T but i will try my best to write it!
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