Book of Spooky Tales - Review

Story Reviews
Title (4/5)
 
It's apt enough. Though I might add in "SM" cause of the characters.
 
Foreward/Description (8/10)
 
Definitely keeps your readers prepared for the spooky stories ahead. Good one.
 
Appearance (2/5)
 
I'm failing you in this aspect because it has so much room for horror with pictures and poster! You could have put a non scary but blackish picture of the characters in a poster. That would have been nice and would give your readers some shivers before delving into your stories
 
Plot (13/15)
 
I am going to be nice and give a one-liner for each short story. Horror truthfully isn't my genre and perhaps because I love watching horror movies these stories did not creep me out that badly. Some input on how to improve the overall feel in this section:
 
  1. Hide and Seek: Cute kids, I like how you incorporate the chinese essence but maybe you should give a little bit more description on the prayer room so we can picture it in our heads. Potential to end off scarier such as making the ghost appear in front of Kris or Sehun for a longer period of time; ghost has attached himself to Sehun for example.
  2. The princess and the "pea": This was good because the devil staring back at the end was quite creepy but you know what could have spooked your readers to death? A picture. 
  3. The Creaky Window and the Door: This story was a tad bit confusing especially towards the end cause it felt like you were repeating the story to before Seohyun went into her room and then I think about it again it didn't seem so. 
  4. Mirror, mirror, on the wall: Yes the mirror was creepy but I felt the saseang fan lead up was a bit irrelevant and unncessary. You could have written it from a second/third point of view
  5. The Last Bus: This was quite good. Creepy. *thumbs up*
  6. Selfie: There wasn't a punchline; it looks like a happy ending to me and not scary
  7. Lizard's Treat: Nice horrifying description of the "monster" but once again there wasn't a and my question is; so was his wife like the mother of lizards? Why did the old man kill lizards then? Shouldnt they be like his babies? It seemed to be the old man was feeding lizards to his wife which would not make lizards part of her final attack
  8. Sooyoung (part one): Good imagination on this story! Hot and sadistic. But you might want to add more bulk into what happened to Sooyoung; give some hints into some form of possession like how she suddenly became lifeless and not herself anymore; unable to control her body etc 
  9. Toilet antics: Sorry but I didn't feel a necessity for this chapter; could have made the saseang scarred and imagine things or get haunted haha
  10. Sooyoung (part two): Same as the above; I don't feel the good connection. When I started reading it it seemed interesting cause I was guessing some reincarnation story but in that case Sooyoung should have felt the feeling of being the victim not a bystander. Couldn't catch the gist of this story sorry
  11. Blind: I honestly cant decide if I like or dislike this story. Firstly it was confusing because your first part made it sound like Taeyeon had already taken off her contacts due to mother's nagging. Also, contacts feel nothing like an eyeball; I thought she had picked up Yoona's contact lens instead. It could have been made creepy if Taeyeon just ran her hands around and grabbed the eyeball and screamed; look up and see Yoona's face staring back at the mirror without an eye. That would have been freaky ;-)

Hope you find these pointers helpful ;-)

 
 
Originality (13/15)
 
Credit given. Horror stories are not a norm. Nice attempt.
 
Grammer & Spelling (18/20)
 
No major english errors. But you can definitely improve on your flow of sentences and phrasing into proper english. One example: "Who asked him to abuse her" 
 
 
Flow (7/10)
 
Not much to comment here as they are short stories. Within each story they are quick to finish with a fast moving plot. Did not sense bad abrupt turns so you get an ok score on this.
 
 
Characterization (8/10)
 
Also not too much comment here as there isnt much of a build-up.
 
Overall Enjoyment (8/10)
 
Like I mentioned, something different from the normal fluffy stories and short stories make it easy to read without spending much time =]
 
 
 
Total: 81/100
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Comments

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aya-ELF
#1
Chapter 85: Thank you for the review dear! I was relly shocked with the language part OTL, I'm gonna go fix it right now! By the way, do you think it will be better if I write a simple prologue to explain the life of a demon and what's the benefit to have a mate??
EPIONE
#2
Heyy,

I don't know if you remember me, but I was just wondering where you're currently working this year as a reviewer?
I'd love to request from you again.

Best,
Epione
teenme14
#3
Chapter 72: Okay.. Thanks for the review ^^

Now to clarify XD
Title: As you said, the highlight/ of the story has not yet come. So yeahh..
Plot: This is my first chaptered story after my long hiatus from writing. After the hiatus, I wrote a two shot. So, I kinda forgot how to write a chaptered story XD The present time of the story is at the end of Summer (hence, their summer break). Oh, and I plan on making this fic a 40 chaptered fic.
- I guess I haven't mentioned the type of phone she is using. Samsung phones are quite cheap in Korea but are also expensive for people with financial probs. So, back to her phone. The phone she is using is a Samsung Galaxy Win Pro G3812. And she is using pre-paid which you'll have to top-up each time the credit finishes or it expires, whichever comes first.
- The cafe's delivery system works like this: A person will order through phone, and they jot down the name and address of the person. One of the workers will be asked to deliver the drink/food. If the house is near enough, they deliver by foot. If it is rather far, they ride a bike.
-I am not a dancer and... OTL I really need a dancer to help me whenever dancing scenes come up TT.TT
- About Mr. and Mrs. Kim, it will be known in the next chapter that I'm writing now.
Characterization: I am really bad at this XD Jongin's feelings at first was just merely interested. It's not a crush. He just simply feels interested by the girl. Hana & Sehun... We'll know more once we're more into the story XD

So.. yeah.. Thanks ^^ Sorry for the English mistakes. English is not my first language
teenme14
#4
Chapter 62: Thank you for the review! Glad you liked it! ^^ it's a bit fast paced coz I had a deadline to follow and finished it in 2 days xD I was planning on making a special chapter for the part before jongdae confessed to get to know Hye Sun better and how Jongdae came to like her. I was in a rush, so yeah. I was thinking that a LIFETIME to forget was that, he WOULD eventually fall in love with another girl but he would never forget Hye Sun since she was his first love. About the part where she died: I wanted her to die in an accifent rather than in the surgery was because Jongdae's parents died in an accident too which would somehow, idk, increase the pain (whut)
hanajoe #5
Chapter 32: Thanks for the review^^
I know my i'm not good enough in English T-T but i will try my best to write it!