Reminiscence
Story Reviews»ReminiscenceReview«
Title (5/5)
It made sense, it is simple and deep, perfectly fitting of this beautiful story.
Foreward/Description (7/10)
The "prompt' was perfect for the story. I would have left it as that without the following paragraph.
Appearance (5/5)
Beautiful poster and barely any problem with fonts and paragraphing.
Plot (13/15)
I really liked it, it was a deep and meaningful story with a strong impact. It also fitted your prompt perfectly. However, I do have some feedback you might like to consider.
- You did not mention the "present date" at the start which would have been nice because it lessens the confusion although I know it is three years later. Also, it is a significant date; death anniversary and birthday so it's nice to have it appear at the start.
- In your opening paragraph, you made it seem like she was the one who got him back up on his feet after his parent's death but there was also Minseok so I was a tad bit disappointed when I realised she made a "late cameo"
- I understand that you probably wanted this short but it felt a bit too fast paced and abrupt from falling in love to wanting to propose to her.
- I had really expected her to die during the surgery, making her get involved in an accident just feels a bit...pathetic and bad luck. A healthy person could have died that way unexpectedly. It made it seem as if she might have had a chance to survive just to make her lose her life to something else.
- Lastly, it will take a LIFETIME for him to forget her, it's only been a year and he's young. I could be very cynical and look at the possibility that our world-class singer was going to find a hot girl in another month and get it on with her. (to be very blunt)
Originality (15/15)
I'll give you full marks here. Definitely a unique story particularly in the EXO fanfiction world.
Language (17/20)
Slight error in tenses and your phrasing can be improved upon for a better flow. But definitely not something which affects the understanding of the story on an overall.
Jongdae is not the kind of person who liked quiet things
Jongdae was not the kind of person who liked quiet things.
She her head to meet Jongdae’s worried eyes.
She turned her head to meet Jongdae's worried eyes.
Flow (8/10)
Apart from sentence structure and fast pace, it was alright and pretty well-planned in terms of sequencing the events.
Characterization (9/10)
The only thing I'm going to penalize you on is; why and how did Jongdae even have such a huge crush on her in the first place anyway? Pretty?
Overall Enjoyment (10/10)
Been a while since I read a good story which evoked a little feel from me. Full marks.
Reviewed by: eunhyuksgal
89/100!
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