My Prince is Cinderella Review

Story Reviews

»My Prince is CinderellaReview«

My Prince is Cinderella - main story image

Title (5/5)

Cute and appropriate, I like the fairy tale reference.
 
Foreward/Description (8/10)
 
Simple and straight-forward
 
Appearance (3/5)
 
Poster is lovely but to me it does not bring out the meaning of the story; you might want to somehow outcast Luhan to show the status difference between the 3 of them; he is after-all unforunately a 3rd party in this story.
 
Plot (10/15)
 
that I am doing this review where there is a cliffhanger haha.

So far the story is quite good but I feel that there can be more emotional build-up for the characters. I am wondering if you would like to do a couple of chapters in Xiumin's or Luhan's POV. 

Storyline is nice and I think there is a lot of potential for story development and even plot twists; exciting!

 

Originality (12/15)

 
Nothing too out of the ordinary but special nonetheless.
 
Grammer & Spelling (17/20)
 
Nothing major but there are a couple of phrasing and sentence structure mistakes. 
 
Flow (7/10)
 
Currently a bit slow and you need to portray the focus of each chapter more strongly (ie the title)
 
Characterization (6/10)
 
As mentioned, maybe other POV might be nice. Now we know how Luhan feels and all but it does not feel like reading it as a third POV whilst focusing on Hyun Mi's POV. Hope you understand what I mean.
 
Overall Enjoyment (8/10)
 
Not a bad read definitely; and the possibiilties at current standing is infinite.

Reviewed by: eunhyuksgal

76/100!

 
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Comments

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aya-ELF
#1
Chapter 85: Thank you for the review dear! I was relly shocked with the language part OTL, I'm gonna go fix it right now! By the way, do you think it will be better if I write a simple prologue to explain the life of a demon and what's the benefit to have a mate??
EPIONE
#2
Heyy,

I don't know if you remember me, but I was just wondering where you're currently working this year as a reviewer?
I'd love to request from you again.

Best,
Epione
teenme14
#3
Chapter 72: Okay.. Thanks for the review ^^

Now to clarify XD
Title: As you said, the highlight/ of the story has not yet come. So yeahh..
Plot: This is my first chaptered story after my long hiatus from writing. After the hiatus, I wrote a two shot. So, I kinda forgot how to write a chaptered story XD The present time of the story is at the end of Summer (hence, their summer break). Oh, and I plan on making this fic a 40 chaptered fic.
- I guess I haven't mentioned the type of phone she is using. Samsung phones are quite cheap in Korea but are also expensive for people with financial probs. So, back to her phone. The phone she is using is a Samsung Galaxy Win Pro G3812. And she is using pre-paid which you'll have to top-up each time the credit finishes or it expires, whichever comes first.
- The cafe's delivery system works like this: A person will order through phone, and they jot down the name and address of the person. One of the workers will be asked to deliver the drink/food. If the house is near enough, they deliver by foot. If it is rather far, they ride a bike.
-I am not a dancer and... OTL I really need a dancer to help me whenever dancing scenes come up TT.TT
- About Mr. and Mrs. Kim, it will be known in the next chapter that I'm writing now.
Characterization: I am really bad at this XD Jongin's feelings at first was just merely interested. It's not a crush. He just simply feels interested by the girl. Hana & Sehun... We'll know more once we're more into the story XD

So.. yeah.. Thanks ^^ Sorry for the English mistakes. English is not my first language
teenme14
#4
Chapter 62: Thank you for the review! Glad you liked it! ^^ it's a bit fast paced coz I had a deadline to follow and finished it in 2 days xD I was planning on making a special chapter for the part before jongdae confessed to get to know Hye Sun better and how Jongdae came to like her. I was in a rush, so yeah. I was thinking that a LIFETIME to forget was that, he WOULD eventually fall in love with another girl but he would never forget Hye Sun since she was his first love. About the part where she died: I wanted her to die in an accifent rather than in the surgery was because Jongdae's parents died in an accident too which would somehow, idk, increase the pain (whut)
hanajoe #5
Chapter 32: Thanks for the review^^
I know my i'm not good enough in English T-T but i will try my best to write it!