`Mr. Wu: Behind The Scenes`

Story Reviews

»Mr.Wu: Behind The ScenesReview«

`Mr. Wu: Behind The Scenes` - main story image

 

 

Title (2/5)

Technically, it doesn't fit the story. I would have gone along with something like "the origin" or "his life story" etc
 
Foreward/Description (5/10)
 
Unfortunately, it does not describe the story best. The story has behind is a strong meaning of loss, pain and a lifetime of regret. Something which I think you should have used to draw your readers in.
 
Appearance (3/5)
 
Kris is the main character so maybe a poster which centered around him more so than Tao would have been preferred. Baekhyun might not even be necessary here.
 
Plot (12/15)
 
I personally really liked your idea and general storyline but the ideas could have been brought forward in a much more effective way.
 
- As per mentioned above, Kris is living a lifetime of regret but the reason needs to be more explicit
- You try to position Tao as a pushing factor to which Kris attained success but its not the case 
- Also you didnt make Tao as a hindrance to Kris's career
- It would have been good if Kris had to give up Tao to achieve his dreams
- Also towards the end we find out the real reason why Tao left and it had nothing to do with Kris's acting at all, it was a night of lust and alcohol influence which brought the story to a low
- You could have made Tao marry Dewei in the end instead of finding Baekhyun, who seems very sweet just to prove how Kris had ruined his life 
- I'll give credit to the ending where you made Tao move on
 
Originality (14/15)
 
As mentioned above, I think this story had a lot of potential with great ideas.
 
Grammer & Spelling (18/20)
 
Generally not bad just a few small mistakes in words and phrasing but I will penalize you on the usage of korean words without translation because not all your readers might understand and its just disruptive to your writing.
 
Flow (5/10)
 
There were gaps in the timeline and they were not shown clearly. If there was a jump in timeframe I would have used a line across the paragraphs. They teleport from just strangers to seemingly lovers to honeymoon and even at the initial meeting it seemed the photoshoot was suddenly forgotten. It felt like you were rushing this story too much.
 
Characterization (8/10)
 
I do like how they were portrayed but slight criticism on handling Tao's anorexia. There's a lot of room for emotional development here, it isn't something to just skip across or overcome overnight. 
 
Overall Enjoyment (9/10)
 
Despite all the criticisms it was a pleasant read. Hwaiting!
 
Reviewed by: eunhyuksgal
 
76/100!
 
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Comments

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aya-ELF
#1
Chapter 85: Thank you for the review dear! I was relly shocked with the language part OTL, I'm gonna go fix it right now! By the way, do you think it will be better if I write a simple prologue to explain the life of a demon and what's the benefit to have a mate??
EPIONE
#2
Heyy,

I don't know if you remember me, but I was just wondering where you're currently working this year as a reviewer?
I'd love to request from you again.

Best,
Epione
teenme14
#3
Chapter 72: Okay.. Thanks for the review ^^

Now to clarify XD
Title: As you said, the highlight/ of the story has not yet come. So yeahh..
Plot: This is my first chaptered story after my long hiatus from writing. After the hiatus, I wrote a two shot. So, I kinda forgot how to write a chaptered story XD The present time of the story is at the end of Summer (hence, their summer break). Oh, and I plan on making this fic a 40 chaptered fic.
- I guess I haven't mentioned the type of phone she is using. Samsung phones are quite cheap in Korea but are also expensive for people with financial probs. So, back to her phone. The phone she is using is a Samsung Galaxy Win Pro G3812. And she is using pre-paid which you'll have to top-up each time the credit finishes or it expires, whichever comes first.
- The cafe's delivery system works like this: A person will order through phone, and they jot down the name and address of the person. One of the workers will be asked to deliver the drink/food. If the house is near enough, they deliver by foot. If it is rather far, they ride a bike.
-I am not a dancer and... OTL I really need a dancer to help me whenever dancing scenes come up TT.TT
- About Mr. and Mrs. Kim, it will be known in the next chapter that I'm writing now.
Characterization: I am really bad at this XD Jongin's feelings at first was just merely interested. It's not a crush. He just simply feels interested by the girl. Hana & Sehun... We'll know more once we're more into the story XD

So.. yeah.. Thanks ^^ Sorry for the English mistakes. English is not my first language
teenme14
#4
Chapter 62: Thank you for the review! Glad you liked it! ^^ it's a bit fast paced coz I had a deadline to follow and finished it in 2 days xD I was planning on making a special chapter for the part before jongdae confessed to get to know Hye Sun better and how Jongdae came to like her. I was in a rush, so yeah. I was thinking that a LIFETIME to forget was that, he WOULD eventually fall in love with another girl but he would never forget Hye Sun since she was his first love. About the part where she died: I wanted her to die in an accifent rather than in the surgery was because Jongdae's parents died in an accident too which would somehow, idk, increase the pain (whut)
hanajoe #5
Chapter 32: Thanks for the review^^
I know my i'm not good enough in English T-T but i will try my best to write it!