The Letters from That Boy

Story Reviews

»The Letters from That BoyReview«

Story

 

Title (4/5)

The title is suitable as you do emphasize a lot on the written form of communication in the form of letters between the two boys. 
 
Foreward/Description (9/10)
 
I loved how you inserted the dictionary definition of penpal at the start. Also the foreword is short and sweet; to the point with enough information provided to allow readers to know what to expect. 
 
Appearance (0/5)
 
You do not have any posters so I think it's only fair you do not score in this segment.
 
Plot (13/15)
 
The idea behind this is very simple, fluffy and sweet. Bringing back the notion of having a penpal; a written one at that carries with it the innocence of maintaining an effort driven relationship between two parties. 
 
I like how you're developing their relationship both as penpals and as enemies in real life. Credits to steering their real life relationship in the right direction as well.
 
However, as per your readers' comments, their stupidity is beyond me. But you do make it a point to clarify it after each chapter so I shall not penalize you too much on that. 
 
You might want to steer away from the letter for a bit to focus on their real life character development. Suggestion: a bit of focus on Donghae's relationship with Hara, Eunhyuk and Seohyun, their families perhaps and most importantly why they hate each other. Not a full-blown story cause I'm sure this will be revealed later but dropping hints would be nice. Leaving time in between letters for character development in reality will be helpful because we can do a comparison of how they are in the letters and how they really act with people around them; highlighting the trust put into each other in the form of penpals.
 
Just some suggestions for story development hope they're useful ;-)
 
Originality (14/15)
 
As mentioned above, a very cute and fresh topic to write on.
 
Grammer & Spelling (20/20)
 
I didn't spot any mistakes and it takes creativity to play with words used in their "letters" especially the name-calling bits. 
 
Flow (8/10)
 
So far so good as we see the relationship build-up; as mentioned above more reality checks would be good.
 
Characterization (8/10)
 
As mentioned above as well, a room of room for character development in your story. Looking forward ;-)
 
Overall Enjoyment (10/10)
 
I thoroughly enjoyed the reading; chapters are short and fluffy. 
 
Reviewed by: eunhyuksgal
 
86/100!
 
Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!
Back to Top ↑

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
aya-ELF #1
Chapter 85: Thank you for the review dear! I was relly shocked with the language part OTL, I'm gonna go fix it right now! By the way, do you think it will be better if I write a simple prologue to explain the life of a demon and what's the benefit to have a mate??
EPIONE #2
Heyy,

I don't know if you remember me, but I was just wondering where you're currently working this year as a reviewer?
I'd love to request from you again.

Best,
Epione
teenme14 #3
Chapter 72: Okay.. Thanks for the review ^^

Now to clarify XD
Title: As you said, the highlight/ of the story has not yet come. So yeahh..
Plot: This is my first chaptered story after my long hiatus from writing. After the hiatus, I wrote a two shot. So, I kinda forgot how to write a chaptered story XD The present time of the story is at the end of Summer (hence, their summer break). Oh, and I plan on making this fic a 40 chaptered fic.
- I guess I haven't mentioned the type of phone she is using. Samsung phones are quite cheap in Korea but are also expensive for people with financial probs. So, back to her phone. The phone she is using is a Samsung Galaxy Win Pro G3812. And she is using pre-paid which you'll have to top-up each time the credit finishes or it expires, whichever comes first.
- The cafe's delivery system works like this: A person will order through phone, and they jot down the name and address of the person. One of the workers will be asked to deliver the drink/food. If the house is near enough, they deliver by foot. If it is rather far, they ride a bike.
-I am not a dancer and... OTL I really need a dancer to help me whenever dancing scenes come up TT.TT
- About Mr. and Mrs. Kim, it will be known in the next chapter that I'm writing now.
Characterization: I am really bad at this XD Jongin's feelings at first was just merely interested. It's not a crush. He just simply feels interested by the girl. Hana & Sehun... We'll know more once we're more into the story XD

So.. yeah.. Thanks ^^ Sorry for the English mistakes. English is not my first language
teenme14 #4
Chapter 62: Thank you for the review! Glad you liked it! ^^ it's a bit fast paced coz I had a deadline to follow and finished it in 2 days xD I was planning on making a special chapter for the part before jongdae confessed to get to know Hye Sun better and how Jongdae came to like her. I was in a rush, so yeah. I was thinking that a LIFETIME to forget was that, he WOULD eventually fall in love with another girl but he would never forget Hye Sun since she was his first love. About the part where she died: I wanted her to die in an accifent rather than in the surgery was because Jongdae's parents died in an accident too which would somehow, idk, increase the pain (whut)
hanajoe #5
Chapter 32: Thanks for the review^^
I know my i'm not good enough in English T-T but i will try my best to write it!
Back to Top ↑