Train Ride To Heaven - Review

Story Reviews

Title (3/5)

The title by itself feels like its Jongin's story; on his way to heaven. But here it is Chanyeol's story I would go along the lines of words like "freedom" instead.
 
Foreward/Description (5/10)
 
It didn't bring out the meaning of the story as much as I would have liked it to; not really as deep enough.
 
Appearance (4/5)
 
I like the background/colour theme and Chanyeol's expression.
 
Plot (13/15)
 
I love the storyline but I'm penalizing you here because despite reading your explanation the question still lingers "Why couldnt he have recognized Jongin?" Might have been a good idea to express that the person was all covered up maybe with a scarf leaving the eyes revealed. To Chanyeol when he peered into those familiar looking set of eyes; all he saw was warmth, different from the cold eyes of his ex and therefore knew it couldnt have been him etc.
 
Originality (15/15)
 
I don't think this is the first review of yours I'm doing and you always have very good and deep meaningful stories. I love them.
 
Grammer & Spelling (20/20)
 
Really nothing to penalize here, you have great language.
 
Flow (10/10)
 
Short and sweet. No abruptness within the story; you led the readers into Jongin's arrival nicely.
 
Characterization (10/10)
 
I understand the characters well; good job.
 
Overall Enjoyment (10/10)
 
Like I mentioned above, original deep meaningful and written beautifully.
 
Total: 90/100
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aya-ELF #1
Chapter 85: Thank you for the review dear! I was relly shocked with the language part OTL, I'm gonna go fix it right now! By the way, do you think it will be better if I write a simple prologue to explain the life of a demon and what's the benefit to have a mate??
EPIONE #2
Heyy,

I don't know if you remember me, but I was just wondering where you're currently working this year as a reviewer?
I'd love to request from you again.

Best,
Epione
teenme14 #3
Chapter 72: Okay.. Thanks for the review ^^

Now to clarify XD
Title: As you said, the highlight/ of the story has not yet come. So yeahh..
Plot: This is my first chaptered story after my long hiatus from writing. After the hiatus, I wrote a two shot. So, I kinda forgot how to write a chaptered story XD The present time of the story is at the end of Summer (hence, their summer break). Oh, and I plan on making this fic a 40 chaptered fic.
- I guess I haven't mentioned the type of phone she is using. Samsung phones are quite cheap in Korea but are also expensive for people with financial probs. So, back to her phone. The phone she is using is a Samsung Galaxy Win Pro G3812. And she is using pre-paid which you'll have to top-up each time the credit finishes or it expires, whichever comes first.
- The cafe's delivery system works like this: A person will order through phone, and they jot down the name and address of the person. One of the workers will be asked to deliver the drink/food. If the house is near enough, they deliver by foot. If it is rather far, they ride a bike.
-I am not a dancer and... OTL I really need a dancer to help me whenever dancing scenes come up TT.TT
- About Mr. and Mrs. Kim, it will be known in the next chapter that I'm writing now.
Characterization: I am really bad at this XD Jongin's feelings at first was just merely interested. It's not a crush. He just simply feels interested by the girl. Hana & Sehun... We'll know more once we're more into the story XD

So.. yeah.. Thanks ^^ Sorry for the English mistakes. English is not my first language
teenme14 #4
Chapter 62: Thank you for the review! Glad you liked it! ^^ it's a bit fast paced coz I had a deadline to follow and finished it in 2 days xD I was planning on making a special chapter for the part before jongdae confessed to get to know Hye Sun better and how Jongdae came to like her. I was in a rush, so yeah. I was thinking that a LIFETIME to forget was that, he WOULD eventually fall in love with another girl but he would never forget Hye Sun since she was his first love. About the part where she died: I wanted her to die in an accifent rather than in the surgery was because Jongdae's parents died in an accident too which would somehow, idk, increase the pain (whut)
hanajoe #5
Chapter 32: Thanks for the review^^
I know my i'm not good enough in English T-T but i will try my best to write it!
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